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December 7, 2008 - 9:50 pm
Continuing an annual tradition we began last year in this space, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots this year for who we think should be in the Hall of Fame who is not yet in.
The rules were simple: elect anyone you want, with no restrictions. Just like the real Hall, players who appear [...]
November 8, 2008 - 5:43 pm
Back by popular demand*, we UmpBump writers are already hard at work composing our semi-annual “What They Need” posts, where we basically play GM for all 30 teams. There’s already movement going on in the Hot Stove front so there’s no time to waste. Check back with us throughout the fall season for regular posts [...]
May 20, 2008 - 12:43 pm
“She uses an odd, side-armed delivery, and puts both speed and curve on the ball. Her greatest asset, however, is control. She can place the ball where she pleases, and her knack at guessing the weakness of a batter is uncanny.” - The Chattanooga News
It was a bit of serendipity. Yesterday, as our own [...]
April 27, 2008 - 8:33 am
It probably comes as a surprise to no one that the Washington Nationals have a pretty abominable team once again this season, and that they are tied with the Texas Rangers for the worst record in baseball at 8-17. That is exactly the sort of performance we have come to expect from the Expos/Nats after [...]

May 14th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
“You’re not going to believe this. Now my pants are chafing me.”
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May 15th, 2006 at 8:43 am
“I sure hope Sarah Green sees this picture. I was a fool to let her get away. A damn fool! Dear God, how I miss her! Sarah! If you’re out there, call me! Dammit! I told myself I wouldn’t cry!”
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May 15th, 2006 at 11:11 am
“Who’s there peaking from the showers?… why it’s the ‘wolfman’!!!”
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May 15th, 2006 at 11:46 am
Hey good pick. I was thinking when you guys were going to stop talking about wifes and start focusing on the players.. mmmm, very sexy! GOOOOO Burrell.. Pd: keep working on those muscles….
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May 15th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Ohh, it’s the deep burn! Oh, it’s so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm ’cause I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.
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May 15th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Watch your back Magnus ver Magnusson. World’s Strongest Man 2006 spells B-U-R-R-E-L-L.
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May 17th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Wow, that chest wax sure doesn’t last too long.
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May 31st, 2006 at 4:37 pm
this is beautiful. how did i not see this column the first time around?
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April 21st, 2007 at 12:31 pm
all I can say is “Thank you Elizabeth Burrell” (Pat’s mommy)
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June 13th, 2007 at 12:17 am
Title picture for Burrell’s book, “How to Look like a Fag while Swinging Like Girl”.
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