Today, I debated with myself over whether to acknowledge the dramatic comeback by the Yankees on Tuesday.
Sarah 1: Holy shit! I can’t believe they came back from a 9-run deficit!
Sarah 2: Ugh, but the box score is like the most hideous thing ever. Those pitchers should be forced to pay some sort of fine. 33 hits in the game!
Sarah 1: But did you see that walk-off homer?
Sarah 2: Yeah, and I saw the joke of a game that preceded it. The Yanks took the lead in the sixth, gave it up again in the top of the seventh, got it back in in the bottom of the inning, and then let the Rangers tie it up before regaining the lead in the bottom of the ninth. That is some ugly, ugly baseball.
Sarah 1: I believe that’s what the public calls “excitement.” You’re just being all pissy because it’s the Yankees.
Sarah 2: Well, duh.
Sarah 1: Good point, dude. I concede in the face of your airtight logic.
Thus convinced, I finally decided that the Yankees’ feat did not merit a full tip of the hat. They are, after all, the Yankees. However, in the spirit of sportsmanship, I will award them a brief, curt head-nod of recognition.
Yuurghh. Now I feel like I need a shower.