• HaroldHecuba: Mike Mussina is EASTERN EUROPEAN, not Italian....

See what $22 million can buy? A big, old, expensive rocket.

From today’s New York Times:

HOUSTON (AP) — Roger Clemens is coming out of retirement for the third time, agreeing to a $22 million contract to pitch for the Houston Astros for the rest of 2006.

The 43-year-old Clemens, who will be entering his 23rd major league season, is agreeing first to a minor league contract that pays $322,000 over the five-month minor league season, and his first start is likely to be at Lexington, Ky., the Class A team where his oldest son, Koby, plays.

If all goes well, his second minor-league start would be June 11 at Double-A Corpus Christi, Texas, followed by a start June 16 at Triple-A Round Rock, Texas.

Clemens announced his return Wednesday at a news conference.

“The ball’s in my court now,” he said. “This was a difficult decision on my part in a number of situations. I have to now take the next step and get my body ready to come back, get effective, win games.”

Now the question is, what will Clemens have to do to live up to all the hype surrounding this decision? What will he have to do to live up to all the money?

One thing is for sure: the Astros know they need to win the World Series to justify $22 million spent on a pitcher who will only pitch for half a season. Right now, the team stands in third place, 6.5 games back of the first place Cardinals.

10 Responses to “Rocket Returns”

  1. Nick Kapur says:

    It’s not actually $22 million. It’s really going to be only about $12 million because it’s pro-rated. But your point still stands – not worth it unless they go to the Series again.

  2. Nick Kapur says:

    So all we have to do to earn the right to call you is talk about how baseball is a game of inches? What do I earn if I also add that I just give 110% for the sake of the team and take the game day by day?

  3. Sarah Green says:

    Smartass! You know what Coley said to me about this post? “A game of inches? A game of *inches*?? Sarah, it’s a game of CLICHES.” You guys have no soul, I’m tellin’ ya.

  4. Coley Ward says:

    Sarah, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’ve never before seen Bull Durham. Am I right?

  5. Nick Kapur says:

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I’m pretty sure she’s seen Bull Durham.

  6. Coley Ward says:

    I wouldn’t be so sure. She hadn’t seen “When Harry Met Sally” until I sat her down and made her watch it this winter.

  7. Sarah Green says:

    Coley. I thought we were FRIENDS.

    I’ve only seen my battered VHS of Bull Durham about 50,000 times.

    I believe in the Church of Baseball.

    One more dying quail a week and you’re in Yankee Stadium.

    Would you rather I be making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name?

    C’mon Annie, dazzle me.

    He fucks like he pitches, sorta all over the place.

    C’mon meat, throw that weak-ass shit.

    Lollygaggers!

    Baseball is a simple game. You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball.

    Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes…it rains.

    Had enough yet, Ward?

  8. Sarah Green says:

    I decided you hadn’t had enough.

    I believe the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone…I believe in long, soft, deep, wet kisses that last for three days.

    There are 144 stitches on a baseball and 144 beads on a Catholic rosary. When I found that out, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us.

    Candlesticks are always nice.

    Coley. “When Harry Met Sally” is a chick flick. Puhlease. It’s not even on the same LEVEL as Bull Durham. Never doubt again!

Leave a Reply

Marketplace

    Subscribe via email

    Enter your email address:

    Archives

What's Popular

Featured posts

220px-Bbwaa_logo_web

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

According to the internet, "The Little Napoleon" John McGraw was the greatest manager of all time.

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]