See what $22 million can buy? A big, old, expensive rocket.

From today’s New York Times:

HOUSTON (AP) — Roger Clemens is coming out of retirement for the third time, agreeing to a $22 million contract to pitch for the Houston Astros for the rest of 2006.

The 43-year-old Clemens, who will be entering his 23rd major league season, is agreeing first to a minor league contract that pays $322,000 over the five-month minor league season, and his first start is likely to be at Lexington, Ky., the Class A team where his oldest son, Koby, plays.

If all goes well, his second minor-league start would be June 11 at Double-A Corpus Christi, Texas, followed by a start June 16 at Triple-A Round Rock, Texas.

Clemens announced his return Wednesday at a news conference.

“The ball’s in my court now,” he said. “This was a difficult decision on my part in a number of situations. I have to now take the next step and get my body ready to come back, get effective, win games.”

Now the question is, what will Clemens have to do to live up to all the hype surrounding this decision? What will he have to do to live up to all the money?

One thing is for sure: the Astros know they need to win the World Series to justify $22 million spent on a pitcher who will only pitch for half a season. Right now, the team stands in third place, 6.5 games back of the first place Cardinals.

10 Responses to “Rocket Returns”

  1. Nick Kapur says:

    It’s not actually $22 million. It’s really going to be only about $12 million because it’s pro-rated. But your point still stands – not worth it unless they go to the Series again.

  2. Nick Kapur says:

    So all we have to do to earn the right to call you is talk about how baseball is a game of inches? What do I earn if I also add that I just give 110% for the sake of the team and take the game day by day?

  3. Sarah Green says:

    Smartass! You know what Coley said to me about this post? “A game of inches? A game of *inches*?? Sarah, it’s a game of CLICHES.” You guys have no soul, I’m tellin’ ya.

  4. Coley Ward says:

    Sarah, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’ve never before seen Bull Durham. Am I right?

  5. Nick Kapur says:

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I’m pretty sure she’s seen Bull Durham.

  6. Coley Ward says:

    I wouldn’t be so sure. She hadn’t seen “When Harry Met Sally” until I sat her down and made her watch it this winter.

  7. Sarah Green says:

    Coley. I thought we were FRIENDS.

    I’ve only seen my battered VHS of Bull Durham about 50,000 times.

    I believe in the Church of Baseball.

    One more dying quail a week and you’re in Yankee Stadium.

    Would you rather I be making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name?

    C’mon Annie, dazzle me.

    He fucks like he pitches, sorta all over the place.

    C’mon meat, throw that weak-ass shit.


    Baseball is a simple game. You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball.

    Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes…it rains.

    Had enough yet, Ward?

  8. Sarah Green says:

    I decided you hadn’t had enough.

    I believe the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone…I believe in long, soft, deep, wet kisses that last for three days.

    There are 144 stitches on a baseball and 144 beads on a Catholic rosary. When I found that out, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us.

    Candlesticks are always nice.

    Coley. “When Harry Met Sally” is a chick flick. Puhlease. It’s not even on the same LEVEL as Bull Durham. Never doubt again!

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