How did Aaron (bleepin’) Boone get hitched to 1998’s Playmate of the Year??

Honestly, it’s enough to make you stop believing in karma.

One of the tantalizing aspects of interleague play is that fans in one league get to see teams from the other league. Though interleague play is, of course, a manipulative, publicity-whoring ploy worthy of Anna Nicole Smith, consider me manipulated for the moment. If we can continue the metaphor just one step further, interleague play, like Anna Nicole, also has some tanalizing aspects. One such tantalizing aspects is that fans in one league get to see teams from the other league. And by see teams, I mean see uniforms.

For instance, right now I am watching the Boston Red Sox play the Washington Nationals. I feel there is great potential in a Sox-Nats rivalry (just think, instead of a subway series we could have an Acela Express series!). But there is a stunning lack of potentional in the Nationals’ cap design:

What is that curly little W? It looks like a pig’s tail. It looks like a noodle thrown against a wall to see if it’s cooked yet. It looks like they caught whatever strange cursive disease afflicted their crosstown AL rivals, the Orioles, when Baltimore decided to ixnay the irdbay in favor of the giant orange O, itself oddly reminiscent of the Overstock.com logo. The curious thing about the Nats’ hats is that the rest of the uniform is pretty snazzy. (Except, of course, that monstrosity of a catcher’s mask. Careful! If you look directly at it, it will turn you to stone.) I like the classy font they picked for the jersey. I like the interlocking D and C they’ve got on the sleeve. Now I ask you, wouldn’t either of those make for a lovely chapeau? And doesn’t the squiggly little piggy tail/crawling worm/lengthy pubic hair “W” look even more ridiculous when juxtaposed with the clean, square lines of the other lettering?

Also, I feel obligated to note that I think their other other logo is the hotness:

Except…why even have an other, other logo? 

We have to pay the bills; or at least, get more people to the site. And as one visitor put it, “Hot baseball wives; that’s what needs to happen.”

Indeed.

Most of you may know “The Price is Right;” the CBS game show still hosted by Mr. Bob Barker. Most of you may also know that Mr. Barker has a line-up of pretty-looking ladies working under the nom-de-guèrre of “Barker’s Beauties.”

What some of you may not know, is that Rachel Reynolds is part of said line-up, and not only was she one of the finalists to replace Brooke Burke as the host of Wild on E!, she is currently married to former Florida Marlin and LSU quarterback, Josh Booty.

Thus granting her the increasingly popular title of HBW: hot baseball wife.

Well, fine, not all, specially not those sitting behind me in section 109 at the Great American Ballpark.

I made a loooong ass, seven-hour drive up to the Natti to catch the Saturday game between the ChiSox and the Reds.

Though it was a good game –Sox won with drama– the real thunder came in Sunday’s game. Jon Garland became the first Whtie Sox pitcher to hit a home run in the DH era. That’s a 35-year drought.

Quick notes:

* Half the stadium was full of White Sox fans, does that mean that the people of Cincinnati are losing faith on their team now that they’ve lost 9 out of their last 10, after having posted an 8-game winning streak?

* Or maybe it’s simply this: Chicago is 3 hours away and, by Rival Fish’s description of a typical White Sox fan, Cincinnati is practically their backyard.

* Downtown Cincinnati is somewhere between a Manhattan back-alley and a haven for gentry developers. There would be a Saks Fifth store in one corner and then an abandoned lot one block down the street. Two of the biggest draws to the inner city are the Great American Ball Park, and Paul Brown Stadium, home of the Bengals. The night life is absolutely non-existent, at least in downtown.

* And about the girls. It must’ve been a 4:1 ratio on ugly/pretty. Seriously.

In this year’s Harris Poll of America’s favorite athletes, there are only two baseball players on the list. Derek Jeter ranks fourth (after Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and Brett Favre), which I suppose is understandable, however painful it may be for me personally. This is Jeter’s third year on the list, which he has climbed steadily. After Jeter, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Shaq, Kobe, LeBron James, and Jeff Gordon each make an appearance.

But who is No. 10? Who is America’s other favorite baseball player, after Derek Jeter? Who exhibits the excellence, class, poise, integrity, and character to appear alongside such men? (Well, aside from Kobe “It was consensual” Bryant.)

Why, Barry Bonds, natch. Making his debut on the list this year, of all years. And on the West coast, he polls at number one.

Bang head against desk. Bang head against desk. Bang head against….oh, what’s the use?

I got an entire column out of that “Losing By Inches” post I wrote here a while back. Wow.

Who are the only two pitchers to have over 3000 strikeouts and less than 1000 walks?