• HaroldHecuba: Mike Mussina is EASTERN EUROPEAN, not Italian....

In a New York Times op-ed, Espn.com “Uniwatch” columnist Paul Lukas weighs in on a matter that’s been concerning me for some time. Socks:

Of this year’s 64 All-Stars, only five — Ichiro Suzuki, Barry Zito, Jim Thome, Alfonso Soriano and Brad Penny — routinely hike up their pants to expose a once-crucial element of the baseball uniform: the colored sock.

This is indeed a sad development. I, for one, am greatly in favor of ballplayers showing some leg.

Behold Exhibit A:

Socks!

And Exhibit B:

Ugh!!

“Nothing is dumpier,” writes Lukas, “Than today’s baggy, full-length pants, which look like footie pajamas.” Indeed, I think the pictures speak for themselves.

More exhibits (and Heidi Klum) after the jump.

Exhibit C:

So fresh! So clean!

Exhibit D:

So...wrinkly.

Exhibit E:

Yowza!

Exhibit F:

Meh.

Don’t Zito and Kapler just look so wholesome? And studly? And like they are not about to trip over their own pantlegs, like Kenny Rogers? As for Andruw Jones, I have to say that the full-length pantleg, even with a bit of dashing red piping down the side, is not exactly flattering. I mean, I would never wear something that made my ass look that big. But that’s just me. Perhaps it’s time for MLB to discover what generations of women have always known: color and proportion conceal all manner of sins. Now, for the benefit of all those hetero guys who may not have noticed, I feel duty-bound to point out that Derek Jeter has, by far, the best derriere in baseball. (Despite how much it pains me to say that about a Yankee, facts are stubborn things.) Much as Heidi Klum can get away with wearing the strangest things, Jeter can get away with wearing long, tapered, skintight pants. The vast majority of ballplayers are not so blessed. Remember Rod Beck?

2 Responses to “Do ya think i’m soxy?”

  1. I can see far more people are clicking on the Heidi Klum plug than anything else. Indeed, facts ARE stubborn things.

  2. Sarah Green says:

    Poor Heidi. She gets exploited by everyone…including me.

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