Don’t tease me, Mark. Seriously. That’s not cool. Three home runs in one game? I mean, that’s great if you’re going to make a habbit of it. But if you’re just going to revert back to your old, underacheiving form, well, I wish you wouldn’t even bother.

Just go back to your 18 homer pace and don’t bother knocking in 7 RBIs a game. Because I can’t stand this up and down stuff. You know what? Just forget about me. Forget about the fantasy team. Just go out and swing hard. That’s all you ever do, isn’t it? That’s why it’ll never work out between us, Mark. Because you never think about how your inconsistencies affect the people around you. All you think about is you — you and your big swing and your deep fly balls and your…

Mark? Mark! Where are you going? I didn’t mean it! Come back! We can make it work. You’re my man. And I’m yours. I’ve stood by you this long. We owe it to us, Mark. We owe it to the FANTASY TEAM. Let’s see how this ends up. Ok?

3 Responses to “Teixeira blows up”

  1. Sarah Green says:

    Sounds like somebody’s been re-reading my Manny article from about a year ago, eh, Ward? ;)

  2. wow….

  3. Yes, the Varitek/Lowe deal was undoubtedly the best thing that ever happened to Dan Duquette. People are so quick to forget that the Duke also acquired the ‘best named’ Sox player in history: Arquimedez Pozo

    For some reason, Arquimedez has a wikipedia page, and I don’t:

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