God love Jose Canseco. This is a guy who has been consistently entertaining since the day he stepped onto a major league field in 1985. First he wowed us with his tape-measure home runs and his 40-40 season. Then he wowed us by bedding Madonna and buying several Ferraris. Then he used said Ferraris to get tape-measure speeding tickets and run over his wife. Later, the hits kept on coming as he assisted a home run with his head and blew out his elbow in his first and last major league pitching assignment.
Even after he retired, the hits kept on coming. He wrote a very entertaining book, which we all thought was mostly fiction, and then it turned out to be all true! Baseball’s most honest man! Then he started playing for a very, very minor league team in San Diego, only to demand a trade after one game. Now, with his new team the Long Beach Armada, he went to the Golden Baseball League All-Star Game, where in front of a sellout crowd of 3,111, he proceeded to win the home run derby by hitting several balls over the light tower in left and one over the scoreboard in center (winning $250, which he promised to spend entirely on beer for his teammates), and then pitched an inning in the actual game, flashing his mighty knuckleball en route to allowing 4 earned runs in 1/3 of an inning.
“Anything to entertain the fans,” he said.
What a guy. Sure he’s a little crazy, and has more than a little missing upstairs, but he refuses to stop entertaining us fans. And if the Major Leagues won’t let him do it in the Bigs, darned if he’s going to stop. No, he’s going to go wherever they’ll have him (well at least after his trade demands have been met), and keep on putting on the Jose Canseco show. For us. The fans.
Here’s hoping he doesn’t die young like all those other steroid users. Personally, I hope he becomes a big league manager someday, so his antics may once again grace the fields of major league ballparks.