Not going nowhere. 

Just goes to show that as the trade deadline approaches, baseball’s rumor mill is churning out more half-truths than a high school bathroom. Eric Wilbur, at, picks out one he thinks is especially nutso: Sox 3B Mike Lowell for the Padres’ struggling pitching stud Jake Peavy.

Buster Olney of is reporting that the Padres, after releasing Vinny Castilla earlier this week, are desperate for help at third, and have inquired the Red Sox about Lowell. That much, at least, sounds legit, as is the matter of the pitching-deficient Red Sox asking for some in return. And then, somehow, it all spirals out of control, with the Red Sox getting one of the National League’s best young pitchers in exchange for a third baseman on the other side of 30.

No word yet on where Vinny Castilla will be sitting in the cafeteria, but I hear he’s thinking of just bringing his tray up to the third floor bathroom, where he won’t have to make awkward eye contact with anyone.

No Responses to “Careless whispers”

  1. I think diversity in the sausage race is a great thing. They should bring in some flavor into it. How bout a soysage for the vegetarians out there? I’ll bet that low-cholesterol conglomerate of spices, soy, wheat, and yeast would have a lot more stamina than the pork products. It could wear a tie-dye shirt and instead of having a number just wear a ying-yang symbol. Destined to be a huge hit in Milwaukee.

  2. Sarah Green says:

    In the name of my Scottish forebears, I demand a Racing Haggis. He (or, for that matter, “she”—I see no reason why an anthropomorphized stomach stuffed with animal by-products cannot be female) can wear a kilt!

  3. Forgot to mention:

    Randall Simon struck a blow to efforts to ever get any bitterbal into the race. It’s a fried ball of sausage, popular in Curacao. Hopefully the bitterbal crowd will henceforth adopt the nonviolent approach to social change that worked for Ghandi and Dr. King.

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