If it’s possible that anything good came out of the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, it is this:

Remember how at the start of baseball games, during the Star Spangled Banner, we would get to the lines, “Gave proof thro’ the night that our flag was still there./ O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave,” and everybody would shout the “O!”?

That always seemed as out of place and imbecilic as starting the wave during the seventh inning of a close game. But it doesn’t happen anymore.

When was the last time you heard a crowd shout the “O!”? Can’t remember? I’ll tell you - it was Sept. 10, 2001. After that, the national anthem became a sacred thing. Heck, we even started singing God Bless America during the seventh inning stretch.

Now, I’m not a hugely patriotic guy. But I recognized that other people at games were. I never liked the “O!” shout and I’m glad for its demise. Play ball.

Last March, I went to the Tampa to watch some spring training baseball with my dad and friends Zvee, Dan and Henry. While we were watching Jason Marquis pitch, Henry pointed out that we were privileged to be watching one of the greatest Jewish baseball players of all-time. He also mentioned that, as it stands, the list of great Jewish baseball players isn’t all that impressive.

Recently, Justin Morneau hit his 30^th home run for the Twins, making him the first Twins player to hit 30 in a season since 1987. It also made him only the fourth Canadian to hit 30 homers.

So here’s the question: if you assembled two teams, one made up of the greatest Jewish ball players of all time and one made up of the best Canadians, which would win?

The best Canadian team (and feel free to disagree) would probably look something like this:

Larry Walker OF Had the luxury of playing in Coors before they starting freezing their balls.
Rob Ducey OF He was once traded for himself.
Corey Koskie 3B Koskie’s entry music when he comes to bat is usually a song by Rush, also Canadian.
Justin Morneau 1B Having one heck of a year.
George Selkirk RF Replaced Babe Ruth in the Yankees’ lineup in 1934, hit .290 over nine seasons, topping .300 five times and twice driving in more than 100 runs.
Jeff Heath OF From 1945 to 1955 he held the major league record for career home runs by a player born outside the United States.
Bob Emslie P Was the first Canadian pitcher of note, and won more games in a big league season than any other Canadian, posting a 32-17 mark for the 1884 Baltimore Orioles. A poor start in 1885 sent him back to the minors, with a career major league record of just 44-44.
Ferguson Jenkins P Was probably the best Canadian player of all, a 6′5″ right-hander from Chatham, Ontario, who compiled a 284-226 record over nineteen seasons from 1965 to 1983. At his peak, Jenkins (the only Canadian-born Hall of Famer) won 20 games or more seven times in eight years.
Eric Gagne P Was on pace to become the most dominant closer ever. Then he went off the juice.
Rheal Cormier P Otherwise known in Philadelphia as the guy who only allows inherited runners to score, but never his own, leading to a deceptively low ERA.

The Jewish All-Star Team would look like this:

Moe Berg C Was not only a secret agent in Germany and Japan in the 1930s, but also worked in the OSS during World War II.
Hammerin’ Hank Greenberg 1B A four-time All-Star and two-time MVP in just nine seasons.
Buddy Myer SS Won the batting title in 1935.
Al Rosen 3B A four-time All-Star, led the league in dingers twice, had five straight 100-plus RBI campaigns, and won the MVP award in 1953.
Shawn Green OF A one-time 30-30 player, now finishing up his career with the Mets.
Sid Gordon OF A two-time All-Star who cranked 25-plus homers in five straight seasons and three years of 100-plus ribbies.
Gabe Kapler OF Gets included on this list just for having rock-hard abdominals.
Sandy Koufax P Just the greatest left-handed pitcher of all time.
Ken Holtzman P Threw two no-hitters for the Cubs and won three World Series rings with the A’s.

As you can see, it was hard to field complete teams on either side. But at the end of the day, I have to say the Jewish team is a little more impressive. Koufax was the man. There aren’t any names like that on Team Canada. Who knows? Maybe in ten years we’ll look at the Canadian roster and see two future hall of famers in Justin Morneau and Eric Gagne? But for now, it’s the Hebrew squad all the way.

What the hell is this:

Your average baseball jersey is about to get the Charmed touch.

Good witch Alyssa Milano announced Friday that she’ll be partnering with G-III Apparel Group and Major League Baseball™ to create a line of ladies’ baseball gear designed for juniors (aka WB fans).

The femme athletic wear will be distributed under the label TOUCH–by Alyssa Milano.

Behold the prototype:

It’s truly a tribute to the spectactularity of her physique that she looks merely ridiculous in this get-up. But, sports fans, it gets worse:

I think that eyesore on the left is supposed to be a White Sox shirt. And yes, that…thing on the right does appear to be a Pittsburg Pirates kimono.

On the one hand, yeah, it’s nice to have a team merch option that’s not L, XL, or XXL. And it’s nice for that option not to be pink. But most of us female fans had solved this conundrum long ago by discovering youth sizes. But no, it’s not enough for Ms. Alyssa Milano to fug up her own closet. Now she wants to infect mine, as well.

Yes, gentlemen, I realize most of you have been drooling over her since her innocent Who’s the Boss? days. I even realize why. And it is not her wardrobe. Apparently, you’re not alone:

For the past few years, baseball has been more than a business–and more than a game, as well–to the aspiring designer. Milano was romantically linked to New York Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano and then Oakland Athletics pitcher Barry Zito, and she’s currently dating L.A. Dodgers–you guessed it–pitcher Brad Penny…

….who, when he sees Milano in this get-up, will watch Poison Ivy II until the nausea subsides.

The day I left for vacation, the Red Sox had been roughed up a bit but were still in contention (just a half game out of first) and I was optimistic enough to write this, which was published shortly thereafter. I was sad, of course, that I’d be missing the five-game super-series against the Yankees, but there was little I could do about it. I was nervous for my Sox. A certain friend confidently predicted the Sox would take three out of five. I believe I said something along the lines of, “Well it’s five games so at least you can be sure they won’t get swept.”

But I see I underestimated them. After all, they’ve been causing misery for 86 of 87 years, and I was wrong to doubt their ability to continue to do so.

In the end I was glad that I had an ocean between me and Fenway that weekend, if only so I wouldn’t be subjected to the gloating of the New York papers. (This did not stop me from imagining what they were sure to be writing, though. The Times: “Hapless Boston Unable to Thwart New York’s Soaring Aria.” The Daily News: “Sweep Taste of Success!” And the Post: ”Who’s Choking Now??” with a “Red SUX!” thrown in for good measure.) I got home and couldn’t recognize the team I’d left behind. And not just because they were playing so crappily. Because I literally couldn’t recognize them. Half the lineup is call-ups. Who’s on first, I Don’t Know is third base, and the outfield is all Whatsisnames. And the pitching rotation? More like a pitching rotisserie (stick a fork in ‘em). They played a game the other night with just one bench player. One bench player! Everyone seems to be injured, whether with bizarre finger cuts (not a blister!), the flu, knees, wrists, hammies, quads, shoulders, backs, ribs, biceps, ankles, obliques. Even the manager is literally spitting blood.

Now David Ortiz is undergoing more tests for an irregular heartbeat. It’s not sad or frustrating, it’s downright scary—In Boston, it’s impossible to hear that without thinking of Reggie Lewis. (Same deal when Tedy Bruschi returned last year from a stroke. Sort of how any time anyone gets hit in the head by a ball we all immediately think of Tony C.) The news about Ortiz completely eclipsed the actual play on the field last night, as the entire Northeast suddenly remembered that while baseball in August might sometimes feel like a matter of life and death, it isn’t. I don’t think Mike Timlin is the only one praying for Papi right now.

At least the Patriots’ season starts in 12 days. And until then, I have vodka.

Oh no. This can’t be good.

Then again, everytime the Phillies subtract a player, they seem to get better.

The Philadelphia press is reporting that Adam Rowand, who collided with 2B Chase Utley during last night’s game against the Cubs, will miss five weeks with a broken ankle. From the Philadelphia Daily News:

Phillies centerfielder Aaron Rowand suffered a broken left ankle Monday night when he collided with second baseman Chase Utley chasing a pop fly off the bat of Cubs first baseman John Mabry, sources indicated early this morning.

Rowand had been talken to the hospital after the Phillies’ 6-5 win over the Cubs for what were termed precautionary X-rays.

He’s expected to miss at least 5 weeks, which would likely make him unavailable for the remainder of the regular season.

Rowand is out. Gordon is on the DL. Abreu has been traded. If the Phillies win the wild card, it will be the single most improbable playoff appearance since…I dunno…ever? Can this team keep winning? We’re talking about a staff led by the Brett “Fists of Fury” Myers, Tommy John patient Randy Wolf and phenom and bar fighter Cole Hamels. Oh, wait, I forgot, they just traded for Jaime “I’m not old I’m wise” Moyer. They have a 3B, Abraham Nunez, who is struggling to stay above .200 and a catcher who, at 33, is in his FIRST major league season.

Dominican officials are accusing former major leaguers Raul Mondesi and Jose Rijo of electrical fraud.

Not tax fraud. Not memorabilia fraud. Electrical fraud.

The charges come as part of some big Dominican electrical fraud sting. Across the small nation, crews that detect electrical fraud found irregularities worth some RD$50 million in the last 2 months.

Rijo was slapped a $67,766 peso fine for rigging his home’s major appliances and heaters with separate connections, which kept the electric meter from accurately measuring consumption. Mondesí was fined RD$150,000 for similar violations and reportedly hasn’t yet paid his fine.

Back in 2004, Mondesi stopped playing for the last place Pirates, forcing the team to cut him, and then signed a contract a week later with the first place Angels. Maybe he’s applying a similar tactic now, thinking that if he just doesn’t pay the fine, the government will give up and move on.

Rijo, who is the only player to play in a game after receiving a Hall of Fame vote, currently serves (according to Wikipedia) as a special assistant to Jim Bowden. Which means the Nationals can add one more conviction to their front office staff. Although, this isn’t a violation of U.S. law, so I don’t know if that counts. It’s kind of a gray area.

**EDITORS NOTE: If you’re reposting this, may I suggest a title something like, “Illegally Juiced.”

Not to exploit the inner city slang chlichés, but Kevin Brown was strapped, he was getting ready to pop some one, in fact, he was ready to put two in his neighbor’s chest.

The former million dollar journey-man got into a heated, uhm (pun intended?), argument with his neighbor over some grass. No, not reefer, just… grass. Turns out that Brown likes to get back at people who dump junk on his yard by dumping twigs, limbs, or grass clippings onto theirs.

Brown, baseball’s first “$100 million-dollar man,” told deputies that he carries a gun while strolling through the woods because he often sees snakes, and had seen one the previous day.

“The guy admits he was dumping stuff on my property,” Brown told The Associated Press. “I have more than a few neighbors. Some of them dump trash onto my property. If I see it I’ll put a limb over the fence into their yard. It’s a subtle way of saying ‘please stop dumping.’”

“He got irate and he threatened me, he’s threatening to take me out. I stepped back away from the fence, took the gun out of my pocket and held it by my side. I think it was something anybody would have done in my situation.”

He was in a McIntyre, GA, state of mind.

It’s been an up and down rollercoaster ride for Pat Burrell in Philadelphia. Since arriving in town in 2000 and hitting 18 homers in 111 games, Burrell has had a big year (2002, when he hit 37 HRs, 116 RBIs and a .282 avg.) a crappy year (2003, when he hit 21 HRs, 64 RBIs and had a .209 avg.) and another big year (2005, when he hit 32 HRs, 117 RBIs and a .281 avg.).

This year, Burrell’s numbers are somewhere in between big and crappy. So far he’s got 23 HRs, 73 RBIs and is hitting .259. He’s on pace to hit 100 RBIs, but he’s developed a reputation for choking in the clutch, hitting only .239 with runners in scoring position. (In fairness to Burrell, MVP candidate Ryan Howard, who hits one spot ahead of Burrell in the order, is hitting .240 with runners in scoring position.)

Lately, Burrell has been put into a platoon situation, splitting time with the hot hitting David Delucci. Conventional wisdom says that the Phils will trade Burrell in the off-season, hopefully for pitching. But moving Burrell isn’t going to be so easy. He’s due $13 million next season and $14 million in 2008. And he’s got a no-trade clause in his contract.

So Burrell’s only getting traded if he wants to get traded. And how do you make a guy want to get traded? Well, you start by taking away his playing time.

Are the Phillies platooning Burrell just to piss him off so he’ll demand a trade? Who knows. But whatever the reason, they’re probably not going to stop. After all, the team is playing great and has closed to within 2.5 games of the NL wild card. So whatever they’re doing, expect them to keep doing it.

As for Burrell, he says he wants to stay in Philly.

“You look around, Lieby, myself, Wolfie, J-Roll, those are the guys who have been here the longest,” Burrell recently told the Philadelphia Daily News.”Besides Lieby, that’s really not that long. Obviously, we understand what’s going on, the way the organization is going. I certainly would like to be a part of it.”

But will he be a part of it? That’s hard to imagine.

Don’t look now, but the Oakland Athletics are up to their old tricks.

Perhaps a bit lost in the lights of the Dodgers winning 17 out of 18 games, the A’s have quietly gone 12-2 in August, and 15-2 if you go back three games into July.

Over the past six seasons, the A’s have a ridiculous record in August of 115-41. Here’s how it breaks down season by season:

2006 - 12-2
2005 - 17-11
2004 - 20-8
2003 - 20-9
2002 - 24-4
2001 - 22-7

A’s GM Billy Beane is fond of saying that the first two months of the season are for figuring out what you need, the second two months are for getting what you need, and the last two months are for having what you need and making a run at the playoffs.

Looks like the A’s have what they need. Once again.

Name one of the only two players to hit a home run in their only plate appearance of an entire World Series (hint: you definitely have heard of both of these guys).

ANSWERS: Kirk Gibson (1988) and Geoff Blum (2005)