What the hell is this:
Your average baseball jersey is about to get the Charmed touch.
Good witch Alyssa Milano announced Friday that she’ll be partnering with G-III Apparel Group and Major League Baseball™ to create a line of ladies’ baseball gear designed for juniors (aka WB fans).
The femme athletic wear will be distributed under the label TOUCH–by Alyssa Milano.
Behold the prototype:
It’s truly a tribute to the spectactularity of her physique that she looks merely ridiculous in this get-up. But, sports fans, it gets worse:
I think that eyesore on the left is supposed to be a White Sox shirt. And yes, that…thing on the right does appear to be a Pittsburg Pirates kimono.
On the one hand, yeah, it’s nice to have a team merch option that’s not L, XL, or XXL. And it’s nice for that option not to be pink. But most of us female fans had solved this conundrum long ago by discovering youth sizes. But no, it’s not enough for Ms. Alyssa Milano to fug up her own closet. Now she wants to infect mine, as well.
Yes, gentlemen, I realize most of you have been drooling over her since her innocent Who’s the Boss? days. I even realize why. And it is not her wardrobe. Apparently, you’re not alone:
For the past few years, baseball has been more than a business–and more than a game, as well–to the aspiring designer. Milano was romantically linked to New York Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano and then Oakland Athletics pitcher Barry Zito, and she’s currently dating L.A. Dodgers–you guessed it–pitcher Brad Penny…
….who, when he sees Milano in this get-up, will watch Poison Ivy II until the nausea subsides.