What the hell is this:

Your average baseball jersey is about to get the Charmed touch.

Good witch Alyssa Milano announced Friday that she’ll be partnering with G-III Apparel Group and Major League Baseballâ„¢ to create a line of ladies’ baseball gear designed for juniors (aka WB fans).

The femme athletic wear will be distributed under the label TOUCH–by Alyssa Milano.

Behold the prototype:

Ow! My retinas!

It’s truly a tribute to the spectactularity of her physique that she looks merely ridiculous in this get-up. But, sports fans, it gets worse:



I think that eyesore on the left is supposed to be a White Sox shirt. And yes, that…thing on the right does appear to be a Pittsburg Pirates kimono.

On the one hand, yeah, it’s nice to have a team merch option that’s not L, XL, or XXL. And it’s nice for that option not to be pink. But most of us female fans had solved this conundrum long ago by discovering youth sizes. But no, it’s not enough for Ms. Alyssa Milano to fug up her own closet. Now she wants to infect mine, as well.

Yes, gentlemen, I realize most of you have been drooling over her since her innocent Who’s the Boss? days. I even realize why. And it is not her wardrobe. Apparently, you’re not alone:

For the past few years, baseball has been more than a business–and more than a game, as well–to the aspiring designer. Milano was romantically linked to New York Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano and then Oakland Athletics pitcher Barry Zito, and she’s currently dating L.A. Dodgers–you guessed it–pitcher Brad Penny…

….who, when he sees Milano in this get-up, will watch Poison Ivy II until the nausea subsides.

12 Responses to “Alyssa Milano continues her reign of terror.”

  1. Who cares what she wears or promotes. I just might buy one of them Blue Jay ones for my girl and pretend it’s Alyssa.

  2. Oh my God! That stuff is so cute. I can’t wait until it hits stores. I will definitely buy some. Cleaver girl.

  3. I don’t know what I would rather do. Wear one of those stupid pink jerseys or wear a Dodgers kimono. Oh wait, I know. I’d rather kill myself by eating rat poison.

    Or stabbing myself. With a CLEAVER.

  4. this actually bothers people? seriously who cares.

    You know what bothers me?

    How amazingly terrible the vast majority of mlb uniforms are.

    Blue Jays? Brewers? Diamondbacks. the third uniform thing. wow.

    My god the rockies and the devil rays almost, and I said almost, look classy these days.

    Isn’t about time someone reminds the Mariners that the 8o’s are over.

  5. You guys are so terrible! that stuff is so adorable. ILL LIKE TO SEE YOU DESIGHN A FASHION LINE.

  6. just for the record, it’s pittsburgh.

  7. I think its a really clever marketing stragedy. The baseball merch market has not been hit by quality female clothes that support your team of choice too. Very clever. She also is introduciing her line of jeans which I might just buy. And as for the wonderful idea of buying youth, you’re still buying crappy, pink, overpriced tee-shirts. If its going to be expensive it should at least be cute. Infecting your closet? I think not. Try not buying it and let the rest of us girls look awesome.

  8. at least the Touch logo is nice!!!! or at leat I think it is. hehe

  9. I really dont know what to say… I love these clothings, but if some of you doesnt like them…just DO NOT WEAR them!!!

    I mean… someone will like them and wear them, and other WILL NOT! I SURE WILL…

    And another woman gets her way!!!

    Now look at my designs on my web-page, maybe one day I’ll get famous too…



  10. Jessica says:

    I would never wear anything with that sluts name on it. The name that she picked for the clothing line is perfect. There is no man or woman that she hasn’t touched. I think that she is as ugly and disgusting as her dumg clothing line. Personally i think that the men that like her need to think about what she is on the inside and not look at her body.

  11. Sorry but i need to say this “touch” can also be a very kaind word, a thouch of a mother to her baby, a caresse of man to his loved one… WHY does always people think badly about someone they only know by TV!!

    I dont know her, and I really dont think any of you does…why do you have to talk badly about her?

    DO NOT belive everything you read!!!!!!!

    And anyway, I thought we talked about her clothings line not HER!!

    She is a beatiful girl, some like her, some dont…

    But one thing is for sure, NO MAN looks at the inside of a woman…not right away, anyway!!!

    Have a nice day!


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