This is a story that would get you fired from the Writer’s Guild. It’s too “over the top.”
I mean, of course you want to show the team in it’s darkest hour, getting swept in a 5-game series agains their arch-rivals. And then you want to increase the drama a bit by having the team face some injuries.
But really, every player getting injuried, all at once? And not only just your normal injuries, like knees, wrists, and obliques, but then you think, hey, why not heart trouble? And now, you are giving the team’s star rookie starter cancer? I mean, really, cancer? Back pain was just too dull?
The Red Sox injury list is insane: Trot Nixon (biceps), Jason Varitek (knee), Wily Mo Pena (sore wrist), Alex Gonzalez (oblique muscle), Manny Ramirez (knee), David Ortiz (heart trouble), and now Jon Lester (cancer).
It’s like George Steinbrenner just outbid the Mets for a Cuban Voodoo priestess who was picked up in a raft last week. You could only get away with a plot like this on the Simpsons.
What’s next? Mike Lowell gets gigantism? Mark Loretta is convinced by a hypnotist that he’s a chicken? Jonathan Papelbon gets radiation poisoning moonlighting at the local nuclear power plant?
Cause they’re almost all that’s left.
But if this really were Hollywood, there’s only one way this story would ever end. The most improbable ending of all! And it would start with wacky things like Alex Cora homering off Alex Rios’s hand.
I can already see Kyle Snyder taking his perfect game to the mound in the bottom of the 9th in game 7, after Corky Miller just singled in the potential game-winning run…