• Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor l...

Americaaaaa, fuck yeah!So, yeah. I filed this column with the Boston Metro last week. If I can just take a page from an old college professor for a moment and quote myself (sorry):

I don’t know what the opposite of pennant fever is, but I’ve got it. Playing-out-the-schedule Syndrome? Seasonal Ineffective Disorder? Offseasonitis?

[...]

We’ll no doubt be returning to the Red Sox like moths to the flame by Opening Day — well, to be honest, by the time that pitchers and catchers report — but right now, we’re feeling burned.

I would just like to say that with the return of the Red Sox lineup to the Red Sox lineup (Varitek, Ortiz, Nixon, and Manny have all come back in the past couple of days), I too have returned—mothlike to the flame. About five months early. I still feel burned, but I’ve slathered some aloe on that biznitch and I’m ready to rock n roll (just like Timlin–see above).

Yes, Red Sox, you treat me like crap! You forget my birthday! You never, ever call when you say you will! But I love you! Don’t leave me! Take me back!

Dan Shaughnessy and Eric Wilbur and many another sourpuss can keep their “Slow down, be realistic, shyah right and monkeys might fly out of my butt” attiudes. There will be plenty of long, cold, dark winter months with no baseball to turn to—why shouldn’t I squeeze every last drop of elation/despair out of summer’s remaining weeks? After all, you can’t be afraid to love. If I may quote Natasha Bedingfield, “Live your life with arms wide open!” And if you get hurt, so be it. After all, if I may quote the Eagles, “We may lose and we may win, but we will never be here again.” I just can’t say it any better than that, sports fans. Tis better to have foolishly believed your team could still make the playoffs and lost than to never have foolishly believed your team could still make the playoffs at all. That’s my motto. And I’m not alone.

And in the likely event that the Sox don’t make the playoffs…well, it’s always better to win than to lose. And at this point, we’ll take whatever pickins we can get—no matter how slim they are.

No Responses to “On-Again, Off-Again, On-Again (for now)”

Leave a Reply

    Recent Comments

    • Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor league baseball in the Orioles...
    • HADAJUN: I wish for play in Japan. The death is regrettable.
    • David the okajima: was wondering if I related too this guy?
    • HaroldHecuba: Mike Mussina is EASTERN EUROPEAN, not Italian.
    • handsomerandyblackladdiebrad1953: Plus,Jackson’s Polo Grounds-heightened batting stats,when park-adjusted,make...

Marketplace

    Subscribe via email

    Enter your email address:

    Archives

What's Popular

Featured posts

220px-Bbwaa_logo_web

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

According to the internet, "The Little Napoleon" John McGraw was the greatest manager of all time.

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]