*Update #2: A warrant has been issued for Uribe and his brother turned himself in, so, somebody’s lying.

*Update: According to Sun-Times staff writer Joe Coley’s report, Uribe wasn’t even involved in the incident. I don’t know about Libel laws in the Dominican Republic, but I’m pretty sure the Juan Uribe in the Dominican Newspaper report was the same hole-in-the-line-up who batted .235 for the Sox.

que no te arrimes que te quemo!

In other White Sox News (not that I mind that this is turning into ChiSox central, but I’m sure others do):

Although this incident has been reported in various places, one glaring detail that’s missing from the English posts is that one of the injured men in the Juan Uribe shooting incident is an official for the Italian Navy doing some humanitarian work in the Dominican Republic (I know because I read the Spanish report and, guess what, I speak Spanish).

The White Sox shortstop is being sought by Dominican authorities, along with his brother Elpidio Uribe, in connection with the incidient.

Around 11:00 p.m. Friday, Uribe and his brother were hanging out in his “yipeta”, presumably, his Jeep, when the Italian Navy officer and a laborer came too close for comfort. Details as to what happened or what caused Uribe to shoot are not clear. The two victims suffered minor injuries and have been released by the hospital.

Now, Juan, if you’re out there, listen:

Juanito mi hermano, si un oficial de la naval italiana se te acerca, lo más probable es que pida un autógrafo, no que te quiera chimbar la yipeta. Coño pendejo! Ahora si que Kenny Williams y Ozzie te van a tener que mandar pa’l carajo! No serviste pa’ un coño en el 2006 y con tu average de mierda se nos undió el equipo, vamos a tener que pedir a A-Rod de los Yankees…

Oh yea, Kenny Williams wants to send Buehrle and Crede to NY for A-Rod [Today’s “Mike & Mike in the Morning,” via ESPN Radio Insider].

No Responses to “Juan Uribe Shoots Italian Navy Officer”

  1. Coley Ward says:

    Alejandro, I’m not going to make any jokes about your spanish speaking, for fear that I might lose my commentating job, a la Steve Lyons.

    So let me get straight to the analysis. I think that your post made some kind of reference to the Uribe arrest screwing up a possible trade for A-rod. I think that could be right. Or, it could mean that the White Sox will have an even bigger need for A-Rod, because now they need a short stop.

  2. Your right! I’m contemplating on the fact that since Uribe has dug a huge hole for himself, the Sox have a perfect excuse to bring in a new shortstop.

    I would imagine Uribe can get in serious trouble for shooting a foreign military officer doing humanitarian work. Specially since it involves Italians…

  3. Sarah Green says:

    I dunno, I guess it depends if he can play short with busted kneecaps…..

  4. George Steinbrenner says:

    I’m not a doctor, but surgery is generally done in a hospital – not a doctor’s office. Still a weird coincidence, though.

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