• Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor l...

So now that I’ve got some time this morning, why not catch up with our NL friends on their immediate plans for this offseason.

NL East

The Mets started their offseason on the wrong foot, learning that Mota was using the juice, earning him a hefty 50-game suspension next year.

Omar, though, is not going to mull over Mota’s dumb moves, and instead is eyeing a Moose for his rotation next year. Yes, that Moose.

In Philly, Jimmy Rollins is doing it all for the kids, “pinch-hitting” for Liberthal, who would’ve otherwise dressed up at the Phillies Halloween party in the Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania.

I thought we saw the last of those… but, alas, we have another tie in a baseball game. This time it’s during the MLB All-Star tour of Japan, and Atlanta Brave Andruw Jones contributed to the 7-7 split by hitting two home runs.

Sign that the apocalypse is upon us: Some dude was smuggling baseball players from Cuba, and turning them into career Minor Leaguers. (I know, completely unrelated to the Marlins but for the geographic location of the story; can’t help that Cubans took over South Florida).

Here’s a bad joke: The Nationals are so bad, even their coaches get demoted to the minors.

NL Central (has too many teams)

...oh and Sweet Lou too! BaaaahaaaThe Champs (you did know that St. Louis won the Series, right?) are interested in Gonzo.

The Rocket will handcuff the Astros once again, not deciding to decide on another late-season splash until god-knows when.

Jeff “The Cowboy” Brantley will be doing TV and radio play-by-play for the Reds in 2007, effectively leaving ESPN’s Baseball Tonight. I sure as hell won’t miss him.

The Brewers are schizophrenic.

Speaking of contraband, the Pirates have signed a Cuban defector.

The Cubs may be selling themselves to a Wrigley. Get free juicy fruit for life.

NL West

The Dodgers are going to sign all free agents this offseason.

Padres suck; look for a new manager.

Let’s get it straight. Nobody’s interested in Bonds, regardless of what his agent sez.

Colorado is a haven for retirees-to-be.

And finally, Eric Byrnes of the D-Backs is a potential free agent after the 2007 season. Means ESPN will have to wait ’til then to get some real talent back on BB Tonight.

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