Typical Theo: one step forward, two huge steps back
The Red Sox made an incredibly costly but potentially lucrative gamble by outbidding the rest of baseball for the services of Daisuke Matsuzaka ($51 million just for the right to talk to Scott Boras? Holy crap!). And now right on the heels of this story comes the news that the Red Sox are hot on the trail of by far the two least valuable players from this past season’s Dodgers squad – infamous clubhouse cancers J.D. Drew and Julio Lugo.
Dodgers fans were overjoyed, if somewhat surprised, when Drew opted out of the guaranteed $33 million and 3 years left on his contract, after two injury-riddled seasons in which Drew never hit more than 20 homers and continued to display the lackadaisical style of baseball he is so adept at, completely devoid of clutch hits or spirited play. What foolish team we all wondered, would possibly give this sad excuse for a ballplayer more than 3 years at $11 million per to play 95 dispiriting games and hit 20 home runs?
Now we know: the Boston Red Sox, aka “Yankees North.”
Likewise, notorious wife-beater Julio Lugo is also on the BoSox’s radar screen after a season in which he batted far far above his career norms in Tampa Bay, and then struggled to stay above the Mendoza line in two months of crucial stretch games for LA. Lugo quickly became known throughout LA for his lack of focus on defense, his three-pitch strikeouts in crucial situations, his boneheaded decisionmaking on the basepaths, and most of all, his incredibly surly attitude.
You would think that most players would be elated to escape the purgatory that is Tampa Bay and be shipped to a playoff-bound team in the midst of an exciting pennant race. But not Julio – instead he griped constantly about his playing time to the media despite the fact that he played almost every game down the stretch, and insisted that he should be the starting shortstop over consensus team MVP Rafael Furcal.
A defining moment of Lugo’s Dodgers career came in a crucial game against the archrival Giants when Lugo made the least of a rare appearance at third base by inexplicably attempting to steal home with no outs in the second inning and the heart of the order coming up. Lugo was thrown out easily and the Dodgers ended up losing by one run.
Suffice to say, the Dodgers made the playoffs despite Lugo’s best efforts to singlehandedly lose as many games as possible and torpedo clubhouse chemistry. What team could possibly covet such a player?
Why of course it’s the Boston Red Sox, aka “Evil Empire II.”
How can Red Sox fans continue to claim that their team is morally superior to the Yankees when the Red Sox continue to do every thing exactly how the Yanks do it – chasing after high-priced, overrated free agents to fill the tiniest gap in the lineup, and throwing huge sums of money at foreign players that no team other than the Sox or the Yankees has any chance at?









November 14th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
Amen!
REPORT COMMENT
November 14th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
[...] Then there’s the Red Sox who, as Nick mentioned, are chasing Julio Lugo and J.D. Drew. What a fun team that would make, eh? Wouldn’t you just relish the chance to chear for a team with Manny being Manny (skipping games), J.D. being J.D. (getting hurt and asking for more money) and Julio being Julio (hitting his wife and bitching about playing time)? Oh and don’t forget about Josh being Josh (getting blisters and picking fights) and Keith being Keith (wishing he were hunting instead of pitching). Share us:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]
REPORT COMMENT
November 15th, 2006 at 12:26 am
Dudes, what is it, bait Sarah Green month (week??? what day is it????) here on UmpBump? But assuming that these exasperated queries are not merely rhetorical, I shall explain.
First, it does not surprise me, Nick, that Coley is giving you an “Amen.” Coley has decided to hate Red Sox fans for no apparent reason, except that certain towheaded twins he knows can be very Massholish about the Sox on his fantasy league message board, which annoys him. And for this, in his worldview, an entire Nation must suffer.
But nevermind all that. Yes, the Yankees and Red Sox have the two highest payrolls. However, the Yankees’ payroll last year was about $80 million more than the Red Sox’ payroll. The difference between the Sox and the third-most-costly team (the Angels) is much smaller—about $17 million.
OH. And WHO could the FOURTH most expensive team RIGHT UP THERE with the EVIL EVIL Red Sox (and the overlooked, in this debate, but almost as evil Angels) BE?!
COULD IT NOT BE COLEY WARD’S BELOVED PHILLIES?!?!?!
Indeed, it could.
Indeed, it IS!
So, while you can call us Evil Empire II, a more accurate term would be something less extreme…Callous Commonwealth, perhaps. Because the difference in payroll between the Red Sox and the Angels is only big enough to field one other team: the $15 million Marlins. But the difference in payroll between the Red Sox and the Yankees? That’s big enough to pay for either the A’s, the Indians, the Reds, the Brewers, the Royals, the Rangers, the Tigers, the Padres, the Jays, the Nats, the Mets, OR some combination of any two of the D-Rays, Rockies, or Pirates (or of course those cheap-ass Marlins). That’s a pretty big gap. I call it…the Evil Gap. Also, our ticket prices are soooo much higher. They started going up when we got Pedro and Manny and just never stopped. So we feel entitled to free agents, because we’re paying through the nose for right field grandstand obstructed-view wooden seats that aren’t even angled to face home plate (they face the left field wall). Does that make us slightly obnoxious, perhaps? Yes. But look, it’s not our fault we were born in the greatest state in the country, in a city that is the Hub of the Universe, that just happens to have the greatest baseball team ever invented in it. Okay?! Gawd.
That is not to say that I want Mr. Wife Beater or Mr. Whinyface on my team. Just to be clear.
REPORT COMMENT
November 15th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Sarah, I’m not sure where you got your info, but every list that I can find on the world wide webs says that the Phillies have the 12th highest payroll in baseball, at around $87 million.
Additionally, while the Red Sox 2006 payroll was $80 million less than that of the Yankees, you can bet that the team’s 2007 payroll, if they add big contract players like Matsuzaka, Drew and Lugo, will be a lot more evil.
REPORT COMMENT
November 20th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Here’s my source:
http://blog.sportscolumn.com/tag/MLB%20Cost%20Index
Obviously ESPN.com is more reputable, but I don’t know how to account for the different figures.
REPORT COMMENT
November 29th, 2006 at 2:56 pm
[...] $70 million?! Five seasons?? Are they insane? Perhaps, as Coley and Nick have intimated, the Red Sox have indeed become evil. But let it be said that the fan on the street has not yet signed on to this Faustian bargain. This morning, a friend and fellow fan put the problem succinctly: “He’s expensive and he breaks.” Not to mention the fact that if the 31-year old doesn’t get his way (i.e., millions upon millions of dollars based—still!—on his “potential” and “talent”) he just sits out, in typical Scott Boras-client fashion. (Makes me wonder what he was like in Little League.) BostonDirtDogs points out what should be obvious to all: the Sox could have had Johnny Damon, their fuzzy-faced and durable team mascot, for much less than that. Boston Herald columnist Gerry Callahan expresses the thoughts of many a Hub resident (the article is worth reading in full, if only to savor Callahan’s use of the phrase “apparent man crush”) on the apparently unstoppable arrival of Nancy Drew: While Sox fans are starved for someone, anyone, who represents an upgrade from last season’s roster, it is not easy to find a fan who is excited about the prospect of seeing Drew in a Sox uniform. For some reason, the paying customers seem to understand better than the Sox front office wonks that it ain’t all about OPS. Sometimes you’ve got to look at the character and the personality of a player before you walk down the aisle with him….This is a guy who has been on the disabled list seven times in eight seasons. He never has played more than 146 games (while Damon never has played fewer than 145). He has played for three teams in the past four years – how many franchise players do that? [...]
REPORT COMMENT
January 17th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
[...] To be sure, the Dodgers made a few good deals. The signings of pitchers Randy Wolf and Jason Schmidt were almost universally lauded as reasonable gambles for reasonable prices (at least given the crazy pitching market this year), and resigning closer Takashi Saito was an absolute must. The Dodgers also immediately gained by subtraction when JD Drew and Julio Lugo opted to split town. [...]
REPORT COMMENT