Chipper Sued

Just because Chipper Jones has a no-trade clause in his contract doesn’t mean that he won’t have anything to worry about this offseason. Quite the contrary. Jones is being sued.

According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, Jones is being accused by a construction worker from the Philadelphia suburbs of playing a little too rough.

Okay, before we go any further, I think it’s important to point out that I’m not the guy from Philly who’s suing Chipper. But I am loving every minute of it, even if it looks like it’s a totally bogus suit.

Stephen M. Cohen of East Norriton contends that Jones inflicted an “illegal, outrageous and violent assault” on him at the Hyatt Regency hotel at Penn’s Landing at 11:30 a.m. Sept. 3. He seeks more than $50,000 in damages.

From the Inquirer:

The suit, filed in Philadelphia last week, says Cohen asked to be taken to a hospital and was released the same day. It does not identify any injury that he suffered.

It says Cohen, a construction foreman, and his friends saw Jones at the hotel and “yelled to get Chipper Jones’ attention. Chipper Jones ignored them.”

Later, it says, Cohen saw Jones inside the hotel and yelled at him again.

“To Cohen’s shock, Chipper Jones turned, looked at him in a hostile… volatile manner,” the suit says. It says Jones then “threw Cohen down on the marble floor, and began to physically assault Cohen.”

Hotel workers, in depositions, and a police report paint a different picture. One employee testified that he was told that Cohen was “taunting” Jones.

“Mr. Jones didn’t like what it was that he was saying to him, and they got in a scuffle,” the employee said.

I live for Chipper Jones gossip and even I have to admit that this lawsuit seems to be totally bogus. Just about everyone who saw what happens seems to think this construction worker had it coming. Sounds like a guy who is trying to milk a little money from a celeb. Nice try, but I don’t think he’ll get far.

But even if this is a frivolous lawsuit, not all is lost. Behold, the best part of the Inquirer story, by far:

The police report makes no mention of a struggle. “Larry Jones and unidentified male were involved in a verbal altercation,” the report says, using Jones’ legal first name.

Ha ha, Larry! They called you Larry! Sucker! If I harrassed and sued Chipper and all I got out of it was a black eye and a newspaper story that refered to Chipper as “Larry,” it would all be worth it.