Well, well, turns out John Kerry had to be good for something. I mean, he could be facing a tough reelection campaign with Curt Schilling being teased to run for his seat; might as well make it interesting, right?

One of our readers (thanks Vincent) forwarded this to us:

Kerry to Question FCC Chairman Over Direct TV-Major League Baseball Deal

WASHINGTON, DC – Senator John Kerry said today that he intends to seek answers from the FCC about a pending DirectTV deal that could make it harder for baseball fans to watch their favorite teams. The issue centers on a plan to shift the “Extra Innings” baseball package to DirectTV as part of a $700 million exclusive deal. According to recent press reports, during the last five years, the Extra Innings package has been available to 75 million people. If the deal goes through, the baseball package will be available to the 15 million people who have DirectTV.

“I am opposed to anything that deprives people of reasonable choices. In this day and age, consumers should have more choices – not fewer. I’d like to know how this serves the public - a deal which will force fans to subscribe to DirectTV in order to tune in to their favorite players. A Red Sox fan ought to be able to watch their team without having to switch to DirectTV,” said Kerry.

The chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, Kevin Martin, is a witness at a hearing tomorrow of the Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee. Kerry is a member of the committee.

I’m not sure what good would come out of this, I mean, Kerry can be a bit of a douche, so, we’ll take it with a grain of salt. Even though, as far as Selig and the rest of his MLB New Media goons are concerned, we might as well be dead.

Note: The headline for this post was changed due to lameness - a result from hastily writing copy as one is leaving for brainstorming meeting at neighborhood pub.

Sorry ladies, but Chase Utley is off the market. He got hitched to his college sweetheart, Jennifer.

Utley’s marriage is a story the Philadelphia media has paid a lot of attention to, mostly because it served as a nice human interest angle to the more important story: Utley’s new long-term contract.

So we’ve learned all about how Chase and Jennifer met, where they went on their first date, where they got married, who was invited, where they went on their honeymoon, etc.

But back to how they met. Chase and his bride-to-be were introduced by….drumroll please…Freddie Mitchell!! From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Chase Utley was in town yesterday, and he brought the best catch he ever made with him - his new bride, Jennifer.

They met as undergrads at UCLA. Freddie Mitchell introduced them.

Yes, that Freddie Mitchell.

“It was Valentine’s Day 2000,” Jennifer explained on the day her man passed his physical and officially signed a seven-year, $85 million contract with the Phillies.

Mitchell, Utley and Jennifer Cooper were all in the same social policy class. In addition to catching passes for the Bruins’ football team, Mitchell, who later became a receiver and cartoon character with the Eagles, played a little baseball with Utley at UCLA.

After class that day, Utley pointed to Cooper and said he’d like to meet her.

“Oh, I know her,” Mitchell said with his typical I-just-want-to-thank-my-hands-for-being-so-great modesty.

Mitchell made the introduction - then hit up Jennifer for a ride home. Before long, Utley had a date with Ms. Cooper, and he even managed to get a second one after calling her Jessica on their first night out.

Ooooh, I can’t believe he rebounded from calling his girl the wrong name. That’s usually a deal-breaker. But more importantly, Freddie Mitchell! Do you think he was invited to the wedding?

I think Freddy needs to get his own reality show, “The Matchmaker.” I can just see him now: “I’m Freddy Mitchell. Whether it comes to running routs or making matches, I’ve got great instincts. I’d like to thank my instincts for being so great and helping me make that match and all the other great matches I’ve made. I love my instincts.”

This is part of a series of posts in which we call out all 30 teams for their wily offseason moves and tragic offseason blunders.

The St. Louis Cardinals have an odd offseason strategy. Each year they let several players leave as free agents. And then they don’t sign anyone to replace them.

In a period of just two years, since the end of the 2004 season, the Cardinals have lost Reggie Sanders, Edgar Renteria, Mike Matheny, Matt Morris, Mark Gruzielanek, Woody Williams, Jeff Weaver, Jeff Suppan, and Jason Marquis to free agency.

These players have been replaced by players like So Taguchi, Juan Encarnacion, Yadier Molina, Aaron Miles, Adam Kennedy, Kip Wells, and Ryan Franklin.

And yet every year the Cardinals somehow win the Central division, and go deep into the playoffs. This past season everything broke just right and they even won the World Series, despite having the worst regular season record of any World Series Champion in history (83-78).

So what is the secret?

Like you even had to ask. Every year, the Cardinals get worse and worse, and yet every year they still win the NL Central, because every year Albert Pujols gets better and better.

This year King Albert had his best season yet, statistically, with a career high 49 home runs and a career high .671 slugging percentage. The only thing which kept him from having one of the greatest seasons at the plate in baseball history was a nagging oblique injury in June that limited the normally durable Pujols to “only” 143 games. As if to mock the lesser mortals he deigns to play with, Pujols decided to “focus on defense” last season, and improved his numbers enough to garner his first Gold Glove award.

Fortunately for the Redbirds, there are a few bright spots on the roster other than Pujols. Chris Duncan (son of longtime Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan) came out of nowhere as a surprising source of power in the outfield toward the end of last season, David Eckstein continues to be his usual plucky self and managed to win the World Series MVP, and Adam Wainwright emerged as a bullpen star and possible future starter.

However, Duncan’s numbers were so far out of synch with reasonable expectations that a sophomore slump seems inevitable, and longtime stars Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds seem to be in decline. What’s worse, the Cards lost 3/5 of their rotation this offseason with the departures of Jason Marquis, Jeff Suppan, and Jeff Weaver, none of whom were really replaced, and even though they managed to re-sign Mark Mulder, there has never been a pitcher who has pitched as well after the kind of major rotator cuff surgery he had this September as they pitched before it.

The only good move the Cardinals made all offseason was extending ace Chris Carpenter with an extremely reasonable 5-year, $65 million deal, but the rest of the rotation will apparently be composed of whatever spare parts the Cardinals manage to scrounge off the scrap heap or cannibalize from their bullpen.

For the third year in a row the Cardinals have let numerous free agents walk away while doing almost nothing at all to replace them. I know, I know, who am I to argue with a successful formula, given that the team just won the World Series? But on the other hand, their record has been getting worse every year, and 83 games has to be the absolute minimum for a team to still win it all, right?

If the Baseball Gods have any sense of justice and decency, the answer is a resounding ”Yes.”

Offseason Grade: D-

Acquisitions: Adam Kennedy, Kip Wells, Ryan Franklin, Russ Springer

Losses: Jeff Suppan, Jason Marquis, Jeff Weaver, Ron Belliard, Jorge Sosa, Jose Vizcaino

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer

SS David Eckstein - .292/.350/.344
LF Chris Duncan - .293/.363/.589, 22 HR
1B Albert Pujols - .331/.431/.671, 49 HR
3B Scott Rolen - .296/.369/.518, 22 HR
CF Jim Edmonds - .257/.350/.471, 19 HR
RF Juan Encarnacion - .278/.317/.443, 19 HR
C Yadier Molina - .216/.274/.321, 6 HR
2B Adam Kennedy - .273/.334/.384, 4 HR

RHP Chris Carpenter - 15-8, 3.09
RHP Kip Wells - 2-5, 6.50
RHP Anthony Reyes - 5-8, 5.06
RHP Adam Wainwright - 2-1, 3.12
RHP Ryan Franklin - 6-7, 4.45

CL Jason Isringhausen - 33 SV, 3.55

- Hot Offseason Action Index -

This is part of a series of posts in which we call out all 30 teams for their wily offseason moves and tragic offseason blunders.

Ask anyone who won the AL Central last year and I’m sure more than one will say the Tigers won it. They did hold the lead in the division for most of the season and they did go on to the World Series. But oh you’d be so wrong. Tigers didn’t win it; the Tigs were the Wild Card. The Minnesota Twins won the Central.

Oh yeah, now you remember, it all came down to the wire and the Twins pulled it off. Too bad they don’t advance in the playoffs, otherwise you’d think it mattered to them.

Ok, ok, ok. Enough with the bias. The Twins did win the Central, and they won it outright. The Tigers didn’t ride out their early season surge until the end, missing the AL Central title by a day. But the Twins deserve all the credit, not only do they have a “small market” team, they also have the reigning Cy Young winner, Johan Santana, and the reigning AL MVP, Justin Morneau. Oh, right, Joe Mauer was the first AL catcher to ever win a batting title.

So what does a team so chock-full of talent like the Twins do in the offseason, to contend again in 2007? Well, first off, you’ve got, let’s count them, six members of your core up for arbitration (Morneau, Mauer, Michael Cuddyer, Nick Punto, Juan Rincon and Lew Ford). None of which, by the way, have been signed to any deal; and with the start of arbitration hearings slated for Feb. 1, you’ve got to wonder how many of those six players will GM Terry Ryan be able to lock-up long term.

Forget trading for starting pitching; yes the Twins do need to replace stud Francisco Liriano’s spot (he’s out most of the season coming off of Tommy John surgery) and Radke’s spot (he can’t pitch forever, ya’know). So who do they sign? Ramon Ortiz, former Nat’s Ace. Oh, and they’ll hope Sidney Ponson didn’t get too carried away this offseason and contribute some seashells or wins.

But no, the Twins can’t worry about all that right now, they have to secure their core. Ryan has expressed hope in at least signing Morenau, Mauer and Cuddyer – arguably, the soul of the team – to long-term deals; but if he fails, he’ll have to worry about that all season long, and about the impending free-agencies of Torii Hunter and Johan Santana next offseason, and Joe Nathan’s in 2009.

Update: With Spring Training around the corner, the Twins have signed all six registration-eligible players. This doesn’t improve their offseason grade because they had to sign all six players in order to stay the same. With no improvements, and with the added possibility that their core could’ve been broken up, the D remains.

Offseason grade: D

Acquisitions: Ramón Ortiz, Sideny Ponson, Jeff Cirillo, Mathew LeCroy.

Losses: Brad Radke (retired), Willie Eyre.

Projected line-up, rotation and closer.

2B Luis Castillo .296 / .358 / .370, 49 RBI
3B Nick Punto .290 / .352 / .373, 45 RBI
C Joe Mauer .347 /.429 / .507, 84 RBI
RF Michael Cuddyer.284 / .362 / .504, 109 RBI
1B Justin Morneau AVG .321 / .375/ .559, 130 RBI
CF Torii Hunter .278 / .336 / .490, 31 HR
LF Rondell White .246 / .276 / .365
DH Jason Tyner AVG .312 / .345 / .353
Jason Bartlett .309 / .367 / .393

LHP Johan Santana 19-6, 2.77 ERA
RHP Boof Bosner 7-6, 4.22 ERA
RHP Carlos Silva 11-1, 5.94 ERA
RHP Ramón Ortiz 11-16, 5.57 ERA
RHP Sidney Ponson 4-5, 6.25 ERA

CL Joe Nathan, 36 SV, 1.58 ERA

- Hot Offseason Action Index -

This is part of a series of posts in which we call out all 30 teams for their wily offseason moves and tragic offseason blunders.

The Nationals have a lot to be excited about. They’ve got a new team president, a new manager and a new ballpark under construction. They’ve also got cool uniforms and a kid at thirdbase who is going to be putting up big numbers for years to come.

One thing the Nationals probably aren’t looking forward to is the next 492 games of baseball. Because this franchise isn’t going to win this year, next year, or the year after that. They are building for the long, long, long haul.

The Nationals’ pitching is the team’s biggest weakness. And that’s saying something, considering they also have the most anemic offence in the division. John Patterson is, if you want to use the word liberally, the “ace” of the staff.

This offseason the team lost Alfonso Soriano to free agency and traded 2B Jose Vidro to Seattle. They added nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. They signed Abraham Nunez, Travis Lee, D’Angelo Jimenez and Tony Womack. All got minor league contracts.

Lee, who could make $500,000 if he makes the team, was signed as insurance in the event Nick Johnson doesn’t recover from his broken right leg. Lee is coming off one of his worst seasons. In 114 games with the Devil Rays, the 31-year-old Lee hit .224 with 11 home runs and 31 RBIs. Tampa ended up giving him his unconditional release in early September.

Here’s GM Jim Bowden’s take on Travis Lee, who he was obviously stoked to acquire:

Nick Johnson is hurt, and Larry Broadway is not hitting in winter ball. We are short on depth … If Nick is hurt and Broadway doesn’t hit and his knee acts up again, then what you are going to do?

What, indeed, are you going to do? If you’re a Nationals fan, what you’re probably going to do is stay home this season. And next. And, most likely, the one after that.

Offseason grade: F

Acquisitions: Abraham Nunez, Travis Lee, D’Angelo Jimenez and Tony Womack.

Losses: Alfonso Soriano, Jose Vidro.

Projected Lineup, Rotation and Closer:

2B Felipe Lopez .281/.362/.365
LF Ryan Church .276/.366/.526
3B Ryan Zimmerman .287/.351/.471
1B Nick Johnson .290/.428/.520
RF Austin Kearns .250/.381/.429, 24 HR
C Brian Schneider .256/.320/.329
CF Nook Logan .300/.337/.389
SS Christian Guzman (none)

SP John Patterson 1-2, 4.43 ERA
SP Jerome Williams 0-2, 7.03 ERA
SP Tony Armas 9-12, 5.03 ERA
SP Zach Day 1-3, 4.73 ERA
SP Pedro Astacio 5-5, 5.98 ERA

CL Chad Cordero 7-4, 29 S, 3.19 ERA

- Hot Offseason Action Index -

A great new article by Brett Bull has just appeared over at SI.com digging even deeper into the persistent idea that Daisuke Matsuzaka throws a “miracle pitch” called a gyroball - a myth I’ve been arguing is false for over a year now.

I was suspicious from the start because the in all my time in Japan I had never even heard of the gyroball in connection with Daisuke Matsuzaka, or even heard of it at all.

This article only further confirms the fact that the pitch doesn’t really exist, with revelations about the two authors of the book/comic book that first proposed the gyroball (”The Secret Essence of the Miracle Pitch”). For example, one of the authors (the scientist who did the computer simulations) knows nothing about baseball and his simulated trajectories are for the “miracle pitch” are best described as bad forkballs. 

Meanwhile the other author, a coach who does know about baseball, claims the gyroball exists, but says that it can only be thrown sidearm and is adamant that Matsuzaka does not throw it. Matsuzaka only throws overhand, he explains, and what people call his “gyroball” is just an ordinary slider.

Hopefully we can finally put this tenacious myth to rest and enjoy Matsuzaka for the amazing pitcher he is, without trying to explain or orientalize his dominance by resorting to riduculous tall tales of “miracle pitches.”

Numerous sources are reporting that the Red Sox are in serious discussions to trade for Rockies’ firstbaseman Todd Helton.  Most versions have Helton headed to Fenway in exchange for Mike Lowell, Julian Tavarez, and a pair of prospects.  The prospects are still being wrangled over, but according to ESPN’s version, the Rockies are demanding relievers Craig Hansen and Manny Delcarmen, with the Red Sox holding out for a better deal in which they won’t give up as much.

My first reaction was that this would be a great deal for the Red Sox. Lowell and Tavares would not be missed much, and even if the Sox had to give up Hansen and Delcarmen, they would be giving up two pitchers who have yet to show much at the major league level, if they ever will, and they would be getting one of the best-hitting first baseman around.

Although Helton is due to earn $16.6 million this year and almost $90 million total for the remaining six years on his contract, the Red Sox have clearly demonstrated this offseason that money is no object for them, and besides, the Rockies are proposing to pick up nearly half of the remaining tab.

But then I had a look at Helton’s actual numbers in recent years, instead just going off his reputation.

Helton has clearly been in decline over the last several seasons.  From his best year in 2000 when he batted .372, smashed 42 homers, and OPS’d 1.161, he has fallen to .302, 15 homers, and an .880 OPS.  Now those certainly aren’t horrible numbers, but is that really that much better than what Mike Lowell would provide?

Plus there is always the issue of Coors Field.  While it is true that hitters have historically not had as big falloffs when they leave Coors as pitchers do when they come to Coors, like all Rockies players Helton’s home-road splits are ridiculous: last season he batted .338 and had a .445 OPB in Denver, compared to only .266 and .360 on the road. While it is true that Fenway is generally a hitter’s park, it is a much better hitter’s park for righthanded hitters, as opposed to lefties like Helton, and which split is Helton more likely to approximate at sea level? 

What is clear is that this would be a great trade for the Rockies.  Even if they had to pick up a significant share of Helton’s salary for the next six years, they would still be clearing tens of millions of dollars from their payroll.  Plus they would be picking up a small motorboat-load of useful players, without making their lineup significantly worse.  After all, Lowell’s numbers can be expected to increase at Coors.

The hopes and dreams of Red Sox fans are finally being realized. J.D. Drew is coming.

After much wrangling over the fine print, Drew and the Sox settled on a contract yesterday. The contract includes language that would allow the Sox to opt out of guaranteed money in 2010 and 2011 if a specified pre-existing injury recurs.

In other words, if Drew’s shoulder falls off, the Sox can cut him loose.

The deal will pay Jizzle Dizzle $14 million a season. That’s a $3 million annual raise, compared to what he was making with the Dodgers. Drew opted out of his Dodgers contract after last season.

Everybody wins with this contract. Drew gets more money than he would have made with the Dodgers and the potential for more years. Boras gets Drew the contract he promised him. The Red Sox get some peace of mind.

The only people that lose are the fans. They’re stuck with Drew for the next 3-5 years.

Personally, I’ve already got standing room seats for the Red Sox preseason game against the Devil Rays in Tampa on March 24th. The standing room section is along the right field line. J.D., if you plan on roaming right field that day, you better plan on wearing you macintosh and galloshes, because the boos are gonna be raining down. We’re talking monsoon season, baby.

In honor of his signing day, here are the top five things that piss me off about J.D. Drew:

5. His agent is Scott Boras.

4. He’s always hurt.

3. His name is David Jonathan Drew, but he goes by J.D. and not D.J.

2. Drew sat out a season, rather than play for anything less than $10 million per.

1. In 1999, when Drew made his first visit to Veteran’s stadium and fans pelted him with batteries, he didn’t have the decency to stand still.

This is part of a series of posts in which we call out all 30 teams for their wily offseason moves and tragic offseason blunders.

What happened to the Cleveland Indians? I mean, just in 2005 they were this close to winning the AL Central before they – as I’ve said with drecreasing glee for the past two years – choked on the hot air deflating from their season. But honestly, they had a young team, they had a hot streak, they have Pronk, what the hell happened?

They had decent pitching in 2006, 6th in the AL in ERA; they scored runs, 870 of them, second only the Yankees; shoot, they were third in the league in RBI.

Yet they finished 4th in their division, 18 games out and six games under .500.

I watched many an Indian game last year, they played hard, and did I tell you they have Pronk – DH Travis Hafner ? They also have Grady Sizemore, the have C.C. Sabathia, they had Aaron “Bleeping” Boone… ok that’s probably what happened.

The Indian’s offseason has been focused on adding key elements to their team. Last season, after all hope had been lost, they dealt closer Bob Wickman to the Braves. This off-season, they solidified their bullpen by signing Roberto Hernandez, Joe Borowski and bringing in veteran Keith Foulke to fill in the closer role. They have a surplus of OF after signing Trot Nixon and David Dellucci. And they upgraded their infield by trading for 2B Josh Barfield.

Five years after the Bartolo Colón deal, two of the six players that came this way are contributing significantly. Sizemore has become “the most complete player in the AL Central,” and SP Cliff Lee should be around the corner for a break-out season.

Though it would seem as if the Indians were threatening to contend as they did in the ’90s and early ‘00s, they didn’t upgrade their rotation, which, frankly, was their Achilles heel in 2006. Sabathia, along with Jake Westbrook, are the two horses on the Indian’s rotation; Paul Byrd is an aging veteran, and Cliff Lee has just not met expectations. Oh, and nevermind there’s no set 5th starter.

The Indians, though, do have a solid team, and with most of their young hitters looking to improve on a sophmore slump, it should be an interesting year in the AL Central.

Update: Well, since I’ve been …uhm, “urged” to reconsider my grade scheme in other posts, I’ll take the liberty to adjust my unquestioned grades as I see fit.

In this case, it’s actually highly justified. ESPN’s Buster Olney is reporting that Keith Foulke will retire from baseball before throwing a single pitch for the Indians. Though not intended to be their savior, Foulke was a key addition to the Indians’ bullpen. But by virtue of the fact that they simply wasted their time negotiating with him and his agent, the B+ becomes a C+.

Offseason grade: B+ C+

Acquisitions: Keith Foulke, Josh Barfield, David Dellucci, Trot Nixon, Roberto Hernandez, Joe Borowski.

Losses: Kevin Kouzmanoff, Andrew Brown, Aaron Boone.

Projected Line-up, Rotation and Closer

CF Grady Sizemore .290 / .375 / .533, 76 RBI
1B Casey Blake .282 /.356/ .479, 68 RBI
SS Jhonny Peralta .257 / .323 / .385, 68 RBI
DH Travis Hafner .308 / .439/.659, 42 HR, 117 RBI
C Victor Martínez .316 / .391 / .465, 93 RBI
RF Trot Nixon .268 / .373 / .394, 52 RBI
LF David Dellucci .292 / .369 / .530, 39 RBI
2B Josh Barfield .280 / .318 /.423, 58 RBI
3B Andy Marte .226 / .287 / .421, 23 RBI

LHP C.C. Sabathia 12-11, 3.22
RHP Jake Westbrook 15-10, 4.17
LHP Cliff Lee 14-11, 4.40
RHP Paul Byrd 10-9, 4.88
LHP Jeremy Sowers 7-4, 3.57

CL Keith Foulke, 4.35 ERA (No saves in 2006.) Joe Borowski

- Hot Offseason Action Index -