Hating Scott Boras! A fun holiday game the whole family can enjoy. Start 2007 off on a happy note by reading Associated Press columnist Jim Litke’s delightfully nasty rumination on the Dark Prince of Baseball, uber-agent Scott Boras. Litke also comes up with the charming gimmick of assembling a team entirely composed of Boras clients, just to see how much it would cost to field said team for one season.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the ballpark...

Here’s the list:

Starting pitchers ($74.3 million)

Barry Zito: $18.0 million

Daisuke Matsuzaka: $17.0

Kenny Rogers: $8.0

Kevin Millwood: $12.0

Greg Maddux: $10.0

Jarrod Washburn: $9.3

Relievers ($29 million)

Eric Gagne: $6.0

Ron Villone: $4.0

Jeff Weaver: $10.0

Derek Lowe: $9.0

Catchers ($20 million)

Ivan Rodriguez: $10.0

Jason Varitek: $10.0

Infielders ($47.6 million)

Alex Rodriguez, ss: $25.0

Adrian Beltre, 3b: $12.8

Mark Teixeira, 1b: $7.8

Alex Cora, 2b: $2.0

Outfielders ($42.5 million)

Johnny Damon: $13.0

Carlos Beltran: $17.0

Andruw Jones: $12.5

Reserves ($40.0 million)

J.D. Drew: $4.0

Magglio Ordonez: $12.5

Joe Crede: $4.0

Brad Wilkerson: $5.0

Corey Patterson: $4.0

Willy Tavares: $0.5

TOTAL: $253.4 million

That number is bigger than the !

It’s also eerily close to the sum total of A-Rod’s contract.

Two words: Yow. Za.

4 Responses to “AP: "Happy New Year, Mr. Boras"”

  1. Nick Kapur says:

    Wait, I’m confused:

    No ace. No closer. No third hitter.

    With Barry Zito, everything changes.

    So Zito is going to moonlight as their closer and bat third as well?

  2. Sarah Green says:

    Bahahahahaha. Obviously, John Shea does not have the privilege of having Nick Kapur as his own personal emergency editor.

  3. Nick Kapur says:

    I’ve never understood why anyone would hate Scott Boras. He doesn’t lie, cheat, or take steroids. He doesn’t hold a gun to anyone’s head, and he doesn’t set ticket prices. He just does his job. Very, very well.

    His job is to get the most money for his clients that he possibly can, and that is exactly what he does. I can’t hate a man just because he is the best at his job. If I were a player I would definitely hire Boras as my agent.

    Hatred of Scott Boras is completely misplaced. If there’s anyone to hate, it’s the owners for being unable to restrain themselves from signing outrageous contracts, and then taking it out on the fans with higher prices.

  4. Coley Ward says:

    The Giants are going to be terrible this year. Of course, that doesn’t mean they won’t win the NL West. What an awful division.

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