So last year, when his White Sox where amidst a floor-busting free-fall of a slump, Ozzie Guillen decided it was appropriate to call the Twins’ infield “little piranhas.”

The record stands as Guillen using the scaly (do they have scales?) term because he thought the Twinkies players had a never-say-die attitude; I guess it was supposed to be a compliment.

What I don’t see is how a piranha refuses to die?

That’s why I think the more common interpretation on Ozzie’s piranha simile would be something like this: in frustration because his own underachieving squad couldn’t put a decent run of ball games together, and the Twins, with a decidedly less-talented infield (and much shorter in height) continued to win, he compared them to a school of pesky piranhas, barraging you once you fall into their river basin and shredding your hopes of making the playoffs again, even though you know they’re just pests, and no matter how many times they make it to the playoffs, they’re not going any further than the ALDS.

Well, the Twins’ front office took it to heart, from the Daily Herald:

The Twins this week released a television advertisement they’re calling — not surprisingly — “Little Piranhas” in which shortstop Jason Bartlett and third baseman Nick Punto star as the piranhas.

The video clip, which can be viewed at, begins with a father and daughter walking through an aquarium checking out different species of sea life. At each stop, she asks, “What’s that?”

When they get to Punto and Bartlett swimming near some coral in their baseball uniforms, she asks, “What are those?”

Her dad replies simply, “Those are piranhas.”

“Cool,” she says.

The spot ends with buckets of baseballs being dumped into the tank at feeding time, followed by the slogan “This is piranha territory.”

I wonder what happens when you dump a piranha in salt water?

No Responses to “There’s a piranha in all of us”

  1. Sarah Green says:

    Ha! Coley, your last line cracks me up. What if there were a reality show with ballplayers and other pro athletes doing real-people jobs? That would definitely make my TiVo.

Leave a Reply

    Recent Comments

    • planet hobbywood: This is very interesting.
    • Bren: He is a awesome player and a good man.. sweet.. polite.. friendly.. down to earth.. he never acted as though he...
    • HADAJUN( Japanese): Okajima a Japanese hero?
    • Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor league baseball in the Orioles...
    • HADAJUN: I wish for play in Japan. The death is regrettable.


    Subscribe via email

    Enter your email address:


Featured posts

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]