The entire Red Sox organization is in an Unfortunate Facial Hair tailspin. No one, it seems, is safe. Today I realized that diminutive rookie Dustin Pedroia was attempting to grow a goatee. During Dice-K’s last start, I noticed a few carefully cultivated hairs gracing his chin. And of course, Wily Mo Pena continues to emulate everything David Ortiz does, right down to that regrettable chin-strap.
The veterans, meanwhile, have gone from bad to worse. I can make some allowances for Oritz—he is, after all, Big Papi. Like an obstructed view, Papi’s face fuzz just part of Fenway’s landscape. And while Manny Ramirez’s UFH grows more UFHy with each passing year, what can you do? It’s Manny being Manny.
But if you thought Kevin Youkilis was bad before, he’s really crossed a line with this “big old thing of hair” (as Kevin Millar described it):
After careful consideration, I still can’t quite decide how to describe it. Please help me by choosing one: