This week’s Metro column, in which I ponder the banality of evil and the Roger Clemens signing, in light of the fact that so many Sox fans seem to want A-Rod on the team next year. How quickly we forget.
This man? They want this man on the Boston Red Sox? I just threw up a little in my mouth.
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November 8, 2009 - 12:25 pm
Here we go again. Time for another edition of our semi-annual “What They Need” series, where we play GM for all 30 teams. As usual, we’ll be suggesting subtle tweaks for some squads, and major overhalls for others. There’s already movement going on in the Hot Stove front, so there’s no time to waste!
Here’s a [...]
September 3, 2009 - 11:20 am
The 2003 Los Angeles Dodgers had one of the greatest pitching staffs the game of baseball has ever known. At the height of the steroids era, in a season when 104 players would test positive for performance enhancing drugs, the Dodgers hurlers posted a 3.16 ERA, good enough for an insane 128 team ERA+, and [...]
August 31, 2009 - 11:19 am
Okay, so at a time when most people are debating whether or not the Washington Nationals can even break .500 next season, this is going to sound more than a little crazy, but I think the Nats have an outside chance at contending next season.
I’m not saying it’s going to happen, but I am saying [...]
June 29, 2009 - 9:30 pm
We here at Umpbump have done quite a few all-time teams. We’ve also cataloged quite a series of Hot Baseball Wives. In this post, I will attempt the acrobatic feat of bridging the twain. Yes, reader: The All-Hot Team.
For reasons of attention span, or specifically, the lack of it, I am focusing on current major [...]
May 8th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Yes, but just consider it.
Wouldn’t it be the most delicious irony ever?
And I’d say that if it ever became a realistic possibility, A-Rod making the decision to opt-out of a Yankee contract to move up north would give him some semblance of soul.
Granted, if it ever…
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May 8th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
“A-Rod making the decision to opt-out of a Yankee contract to move up north would give him some semblance of soul.”
Yea, just like Johnny Damon who you guys love and adore so much.
Please don’t pretend that you wouldn’t rather have ARod at SS than the Lugo/Cora double dragon super combo. One of the greatest players in baseball and you won’t take him because of a glove slap or because he’s clean shaven? This is exactly what’s wrong with Boston fans. They’re not sports fans first. They just want to be in this cult with nonsense rules and goatees.
The day you won’t take a 2-time MVP/future first-ballot-hall-of-famer because you can’t see him in pine tar and facial hair is the day you pack up your copy of Fever Pitch and go home.
I hate hate hate Manny Ramirez. But I’d chew my own arm off at the shoulder to see that silly bastard in pinstripes.
Sarah, I usually love your stuff but you’ve got to develop some objectivity when you talk about Boston/NY.
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May 8th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Also, “I just threw up a little in my mouth” is the new “Talk to the hand.”
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May 8th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Baseball, like sports in general, is entertaining largely due to sentimentality. There are guys you root for and guys you hope fail. And what symbol is on their cap has a lot to do with it.
Look at it this way – don’t we all have at least one friend, a guy/gal with whom if you weren’t friends, you’d probably hate? They’re loud, they’re obnoxious, and they treat some people like crap. But we overlook it because you’ve known them a long time and see other sides to them that makes you want to hang out again. I think baseball fandom can be thought of in a similar manner.
If I wasn’t a Met fan, I’d probably think of the members of the ‘86 Mets as the cockiest bastards in all of baseball. I mean, Kevin Mitchell allegedly (Doc Gooden wrote about it, Mitchell denies it) decapitated his girlfriend’s cat for freakin’ sake.
But they were still my team. Like all things we care deeply about, it’s absolutely irrational.
If A-Rod joins Boston (won’t happen, but a fun hypothetical), some of the fans would, understandably, cringe initially. But they’ll get over it.
And A-Rod nowadays would make a terrible defensive shortstop. He ain’t going back.
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May 8th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I’m actually not too quick to believe that he would be terrible at short. Or, at least, not that much worse than Lugo. He’s a career 4.42 RFg at short which is a hair higher than Lugo and they’re the same age. He’s been out of his home position for a few years now but I don’t know if that can be held against him.
Honestly though, I don’t trust many stats for fielding as the proof is almost always in the pudding.
Anyways… Red Sox fans hate ARod because of the glove slap (stupid) and because he’s good and on the Yankees. But there’s a bit of a wildcard because Yankees fans (the idiots) were booing him all of the ‘06 season. So you’d think that Sox fans would embrace him because of that. I dunno.
All I know is that A-Rod, despite any statistical support, can’t hit in the clutch and has a magic voodoo anti-ring spell placed on him.
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May 8th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
The only man I want to see at short for Boston this season is Alex Gonzalez. Sigh. Lugo has a rather uninspiring defensive range and he’s sucked at the plate this year. I don’t believe shortstops have to hit for power. I don’t know what the Sox were thinking when they developed this man-crush on Lugo. (”Man-crush” is the new “voted off the island.”)
Sox fans (and baseball fans in general) also hate A-Rod because everything he ever says or does sounds rehearsed. Seriously, I can’t stand him. I see the Yankees, on the whole, as a worthy adversary. But I see A-Rod standing in the batters box and I just see his face with that look-at-me-concentrate-oh-I’m-thinking-so-hard expression on it and I want to smash a catcher’s mitt into his ugly mug myself.
Nevermind the fact that if he ever played for the Sox, the team would officially have to start paying hype taxes for exceeding the publicity cap.
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May 8th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Did you feel this way when he was a Mariner/Ranger? To me, ARod’s always just been boring. He’s not funny or charming. Nor is he controversial or prickish. He’s just sort of nothing. Like a ginger slice to cleanse your personality palette.
For me, all a player has to do is get the job done on the field and not hit girls (sorry, Brett.)
Actually, after seeing Youk this season, I’m going to append that with “…and not look like a cartoon coal miner.”
And “ugly mug”?! Now I know there’s no reasoning with Sox fans. That’s one pretty man.
Gonzalez was terrible. Middle-infield defense doesn’t take you to the playoffs if you have a hole that in your batting order.
“Voted off the island” was the new “Homey don’t play that.”
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May 8th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Whoah there. Hold up. Alex Gonzalez is amazing defensively. He was Gold Glove-caliber last season without a doubt. And admittedly, his bat didn’t join the ballclub til midway through the season, but in June and July he hit well over .300. This season he’s currently hovering around .300 at the moment, about 70 points better than Julio Lugo. For what he cost the Reds, and given the power in the rest of the Sox lineup, I think they should have kept him. I can live with JD Drew in right, but I really can’t see the point of Julio Lugo.
Plus, I genuinely don’t find Alex Rodriguez’s face attractive. (The hottest player in the game right now is clearly one Nick Markakis. Mmmm Nick Markaaaakisssss.) I will say, however, that A-Rod does have glorious hamstrings. Even I can admit that.
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May 8th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Wow. I didn’t realize that “hamstrings” was a location in which gloriousness could dwell.
Guys, we look for three or four things in a woman (maybe that could be pushed to five or six if we were trying to be “sensitive”), but apparently women are ranking guys by the shapeliness of their hamstrings and the curve of their elbows.
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May 9th, 2007 at 12:37 am
Hamstrings?!
Well, bit by bit we learn about Green’s eye fixation patterns….
First, deltoids, now, hamstrings…
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May 9th, 2007 at 9:44 am
I like clavicles.
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May 9th, 2007 at 10:33 am
And in 3 months out of 6 he was hitting under .200
His bat didn’t come alive, he was just chasing his mean just like he will this season.
Also, guess who was better defensively at SS.
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May 9th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
A-Rod was great at SS in the day, but there’s no turning back the clock now. Otherwise, I’d nix J.D. Drew and sign Dwight Evans, circa 1987.
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May 10th, 2007 at 3:14 am
It’s a little unfair to assume ARod would make a shitty SS now. He’s 31 which, as we all know, is the new 30. He’s playing out of his position now and has to make up for Jeter’s crap range.
If Jeter wasn’t so proud or in Torre’s magical trust circle, they’d switch.
So, what I’m saying is: sign ARod to Boston at SS.
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May 10th, 2007 at 9:51 am
I think we need to stop thinking about A-Rod as “playing out of position”. He’s been at third for over three years. He’s a third baseman now. I think we’ve gotten to the point where putting him at short would be “playing him out of position”.
Out of the regular third basemen last year (i.e. playing over 900 innings at the position), A-Rod had the worst fielding pct at .937. That’s just bad. To his credit, he did post a very respectable .971 in 2005, but his Zone Rating has been declining since 2004 (though I can’t find his 2007 ZR yet). His range was great in ‘04 and ‘05, leading ML 3B in balls he fielded out of his zone. In 2006, he was just average in doing so (again, 2007 numbers unavailable). I just think he is no longer capable to playing the position. And even though he is only turning 32 this year, speed and agility is the first thing to go in athletes. One thing I can’t take into account is his weight since I haven’t been keeping track. Maybe he put on some more muscle since he no longer has to cover much ground as a guy who plays the hot corner. I don’t know. But I do know that his defensive statistics are on a downward trend. He used to be a very good at third. Now, he’s average at best. To me, that would make him an inadequate shortstop.
And yes, I’ve heard every argument there is to hear regarding the subjectiveness of defensive statistics. But I also can’t delude myself into thinking that I have a knack as a baseball scout and can merely tell by looking. People like me have to rely on stats because my perceptions are often wrong. So these stats are the best I can do.
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May 10th, 2007 at 11:44 am
A Sox fan’s motto is “If you dick us over, you’re dead to us and we’ll let you know it loud and proud. If you dick over the Yankees, we’ll throw you a parade.” Well, that and “F*ck the Yankees!”
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May 10th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Paul, I don’t necessarily disagree although I wouldn’t write him off because of one flubbed defensive season. He lost something like 15 pounds over the spring. Although that doesn’t look right as I type it… Point is, he lost a lot of weight.
I’m not saying he would still be the amazing short stop he once was. But if the only reasons to do so are his age (stupid) and one bad defensive year (stupid) then I think that’s, you know, stupid.
This was all in response to “ARod would make a terrible defensive shortstop” which, now that we’ve all had a chance to think about, we know is not true.
AT, that motto seems really long and cumbersome. You should really consider changing it to something concise. “F*ck the Yankees!” might be a little on-the-nose but it’s on the right track.
Also, do these parades interfere with the team’s October golf schedule?
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May 10th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Brian, no one said A-Rod would be *terrible* defensively at short. But I don’t buy the argument that his defense at that posish would really be a selling point anymore.
The basic idea is that I just really, really, really do not ever want to see A-Rod standing at third or short or even first base for the Red Sox, ever. Ever. He is a Yankee. Let him stay there. The Yankees may steal our players, but let us rise above this and not do it back. They can keep their plastic A-Rod action figure and his meaningless April stats. I don’t know when Yankee fans decided to make A-Rod their new sacred cow, but it was sure a lot more fun when everyone was just booing him all the time. Yeesh.
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May 11th, 2007 at 12:25 am
Paul Moro said:
“And A-Rod nowadays would make a terrible defensive shortstop. He ain’t going back.”
It’s why I said all that stuff. I’m not just some sycophantic A-Rod lover.
Why are ARod’s April stats meaningless but Alex Gonzalez’s Hurculean summer is something to be preserved in epic poetry?
The fans coming around on A-Rod really isn’t that hard to figure out. He’s putting numbers on the board in really dramatic fashion. But he is a total boogerface.
Were you not a fan of:
David Wells
Ramiro Mendoza
David Cone
Would you have thumbed your nose had the deal gone through in 98 to get Bernie?
This is exactly what I’m talking about. Sox fans are bigger fans of the rivalry than they are of their own team or the game itself.
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May 13th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
I was never a fan of David Wells. He always complained about playing in Boston because fans kept wanting to buy him drinks and come up and say hi on the street. Cry me a freakin’ river, Fatty McBadknees.
Ramiro Mendoza was sort of a nonissue for me. He was like the color beige. Didn’t love him, didn’t hate him. He was just…there. The Bernie thing was weird. I didn’t enjoy having my feelings toyed with. He was clearly just trying to make the Yankees jealous, and it worked.
David Cone I did enjoy having on the team. I was at that game when he and Mike Mussina both pitched so well, and Moose took a perfect game into the 9th. And, despite what some may say about irrational Sox fans, I was rooting for the perfect game in that situation.
Here’s a trivia question for you. Have the Red Sox ever actually signed a face of the Yankee franchise? I mean by my count, the Yanks have now nabbed Ruth, Clemens (via Toronto, but whatevs), and Damon. But Cone, Mendoza, and Wells were way past their primes and had been around the MLB block (hardly Franchise Face material).
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May 14th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Let’s see, Red Sox players who went on to become successful Yankees:
Babe Ruth
Roger Clemens
Wade Boggs
Johnny Damon
Sparky Lyle
Tom Gordon
Yankees players who went on to become successful Red Sox:
Mike Stanley
That is all.
And Stanley wasn’t even that good. The list of washed up Yankees who played for the Red Sox:
Rickey Henderson
David Cone
David Wells
Elston Howard
Don Baylor
Rick Cerrone
etc.
That list is much much longer.
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