• HaroldHecuba: Mike Mussina is EASTERN EUROPEAN, not Italian....

There is no equal.Whenever I get into a conversation regarding favorite video games, my mind bypasses the Zeldas and the Tecmo Bowls and goes straight towards Baseball Stars – a Nintendo-based baseball game with all fictional players and teams. What made Baseball Stars unique in the era of Bases Loaded, RBI Baseball, and the redundantly titled MLB Major League Baseball (by the way, will someone please take the initiative to create a Wikipedia entry on this game?), is that long term gaming became possible (I think I’ll actually try and post a story on this later). Soon enough, I came to the realization that what I enjoyed about playing these games was not limited to moving about these digital characters with overgrown heads on a television screen, but rather, it was the idea that I had a team of my own to mold into my liking.

A New Classic.Which is why I think this kid jealously irked me. Gentleman’s Quarterly, aka “GQ” does a story in its May issue about Jake Floyd, the GM of the Ash Fork Miners in the Desert Cactus Independent League. He apparently loves nachos with extra cheese and extra jalapenos. At the age of ten, he asked his then Little League coach if he could permanently be installed as the team’s third base coach. That was three years ago. The kid is 13. And if this article is true, George Steinbrenner wanted to give him a job with the Yankees Double-A affiliate, the Trenton Thunder.

His mother raised her son to be a stat-head. Soon enough, Jake became far more interested in the number crunching than actually playing. When the Miners’ owner (a local entrepreneur) couldn’t seem to get a handle on how to put a competitive team on the field, Jake offered his services and was hired to be a statistical advisor of sorts, and soon after asked for the title of General Manager. Jake even had a nine-year old as his intern who was quoted in the article as calling Theo Epstein’s father “a dickhead”.

Ever since this article was published, numerous media outlets tried to contact Jake for an exclusive interview (even the venerable Carson Daly). None had success.

Because it wasn’t true.

The real “dickhead” is GQ writer Jason Gay, who had tried to pull a George Plimpton (writer of the Sydd Finch article) for some odd reason and it worked for a good couple of weeks. I admit it. You seriously didn't know you had a hole in your chest the entire time?He had me until the end of the article when he proclaimed himself to be a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame. After I saw that, I kind of had a Bruce Willis “my god, I’m dead” kind of a moment as I had come to actually like the idea of a thirteen year old who had a nine year old intern who helped him run a baseball team. Oh well. I guess I’ll have to go back to trying to win a World Series in my newly purchased Baseball Mogul 2008.

Paul Moro is a writer of Umpbump.com and is proud to be the youngest member of the Keith Hernandez Society of Mustache Enthusiasts.

6 Responses to “The Dream of Running My Own Team – Crushed”

  1. Sarah Green says:

    Coley, I really don’t think the rape scandal helped Kobe. But more importantly, I can’t believe you just compared A-Rod stepping out with another woman with RAPE.

  2. Paul Moro says:

    Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh… Coley, your move. And it had better be a good one.

  3. Coley Ward says:

    Sarah, that’s exactly my point. Kobe Bryant was accused of rape, something you’d think would ruin a guy’s career. But it did the opposite. Sure, he lost some sponsors in the short run. But now he’s back on top, one of the truly marquee stars in sports. Before the rape charge, Kobe was seen as elitist, just because he spent some of his youth in Italy. The rape charges took a little of the shine off his apple, which it turned out was just what he needed. Now he’s human. Fans can relate to him.

    A-Rod won’t have to worry about losing sponsors. At least, I doubt it. And he could benefit from the “street cred” this press will bring him.

  4. Jojo Fireball says:

    What the rape allegations did for Kobe was prove that he screws around on the road, which proves he is more human than the prep school uncle tom rich kid that everyone thought he was. He probley was but listening to hip hop and getting tattoos will make a guy do some crazy stuff. Like try to bang crazy white girls.

    I understand Coley’s position on comparing A Rod and Kobe as well. Kobe was squeaky clean until some late teen crazy hotel clerk told the world a bunch of stuff (some of which was true). And A Rod comes off as such a pompous ass all the time. He carries that aura of “I’m better than you but it’s because I outwork you” bullshit. Very condescending. Like he’s not the most talented guy on any field he steps onto.

    Both men seemed to be one way and now A Rod is going to have to transform like Kobe did. Get some visible tattoos and listen to more hip hop. Maybe Daddy Yankee, since he is Dominican… sort’ve. right?

  5. Paul I’m glad Baseball Stars is finally getting the recognition it so greatly deserves. Well done.

    It was a great game, except for nearly ALL the 3rd baseman hopped the ball twice on their throws across the diamond.

  6. zelda has way cooler music, and where else can you battle slinkies?

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