[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/pDpiEFHHeHo" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]The Phillies have the NL East locked up.

I know, I know. The Phillies are in third place. They’re 4.5 games back of the Mets and 2.5 games behind the Braves. Philadelphia’s bullpen is horrible and its starting staff is depleted. And up until yesterday there was no reason to think that the team was on its way to anything but another disappointing finish.

But come on! Did you see the Phillies rush onto the field yesterday to help the Colorado grounds crew get the tarp down? The winds were gusting, the tarp was flapping around wildly, and Shane Victorino was throwing all of his 160 pounds into getting that tarp down. It was awesome! A totally happy feel good moment, right up there with Ken Griffey Jr. handing his jockstrap to a heckler, or Moe Cheeks finish the national anthem after she forgot the words.

I’ll tell you what, I just don’t see how the Phillies could possibly lose another game after that classic display of selflessness and teamwork. That’s the kind of thing that bonds players and coaches together, that sets the tone for how a team plays the rest of the season.

The Mets cut their hair, and that was cute. The Braves … I don’t know what they do to bond. Maybe go to Hooters? Regardless, the Phillies have raised the bar on all attempts at mojo-improvement. They now have karma coming out of their ears, and this could only mean that, finally, we will win the NL East. And all it took was a storm of biblical proportions — quite literally an act of God.

I don’t know about you, but I think that is so much cooler than a bloody sock.

6 Responses to “Ultra mega karma points”

  1. Well, he shouldn’t start, that’s for sure. Maybe LaRussa will have him pinch hit in the eighth. Of course, Bonds would be so pissed that he wouldn’t do it.

    Since you asked, here is my ballot plus the reasoning (good or bad) for the pick:


    3B – Miguel Cabrera (deserves it)
    SS – Edgar Renteria (homeboy)
    2B – Chase Utley (deserves it)
    1B – Prince Fielder (deserves it – plus we need to have some big kids on the squad, make em feel welcome)
    C – Russell Martin (deserves it)
    OF – Willie Harris/Matt Diaz platoon (deserves it, though it would take up two roster spots)
    OF – Ken Griffey (sentimental)
    OF – Matt Holliday (deserves it)


    3B – Alex Rodriguez (deserves it, and he probably doesn’t want to be stuck in the house over the break)
    SS – Carlos Guillen (deserves it, plus Jeter’s been there, done that)
    2B – Brian Roberts (deserves it)
    1B – Mark Teixeira (supportin my fellow Yellow Jacket)
    C – Victor Martinez (deserves it)
    OF – Ichiro Suzuki (duhh)
    OF – Vladimir Guerrero (double duhh)
    OF – Magglio Ordonez (if you’re not voting for him you must be racist or sumpin)

  2. Paul Moro says:

    Coley, did you have a fan-gasm as you wrote this? Because I feel pretty dirty right now having read it.

  3. The Phillies will never lose again. They will be stuck on 9,999 franchise losses for the rest of eternity! Resist the temptation Philly!

  4. The Braves have Connect Four.

  5. Maybe after the Phillies clinch the division they’ll ask the Rockies to donate the tarp to the Hall of Fame?

  6. Sarah Green says:

    You had me until that last line, Ward. Why did you have to have a go at the Red Sox? Again?? You\’re not even in our league! Let it go, dude!

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