George Steinbrenner has never been afraid to poke fun of himself. He hosted Saturday Night Live, appearing in a sketch where he dreamt of a Yankees team managed, coached, and entirely played by himself. Later, after a public chastising of Yankees shortstop Derrek Jeter for “partying too much,” the two appeared in a Visa commercial club-hopping. And in 2004, he appeared in another Visa commercial, where he was shown wearing a cast, unable to sign any checks, including that of manager Joe Torre.

But there are some things that Steinbrenner does not joke about. And one of those things, apparently, is his hair. Steinbrenner is offended by the way that his hair has been depicted in the ESPN series, The Bronx is Burning.

From the AP:

Oliver Platt plays Steinbrenner in the eight-part series, adapted from Jonathan Mahler’s “Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bronx Is Burning,” about the summer of 1977 and the Yankees’ quest to win the World Series.

“He doesn’t want to knock the guy’s acting; he wants to knock his clothing and hairdo,” Steinbrenner spokesman Howard Rubenstein quipped in Friday editions of Newsday.

“George’s hair is more neatly trimmed,” added Rubenstein. “He doesn’t wear a wig; people think that because he’s perfectly barbered. He doesn’t have a hair out of place.”

Oliver Platt as SteinbrennerGlad we set the record straight on that one. Steinbrenner’s hair, for those who were wondering, is real. And it’s spectacular.

But is it a little TOO spectacular? Steinbrenner’s hair is 77 years old. Most hair starts to thin and fall out long before 77. Even men with great hair genes hit their hair peak around 55. I’m almost afraid to say it, because I don’t like to speculate about things like this. But Steinbrenner’s ability to sustain his fabulous hair well into old age almost forces us to ask — could he be on hair steroids? Or maybe hair HGH?

4 Responses to “Steinbrenner: “Respect the hair””

  1. Paul, that really is tremendous news. On a scale of one to impossible, how likely do you think it is that Ricky finds his way into the lineup by the end of the season?

  2. A certain chain of events must happen before Rickey finds himself on the official lineup:

    1) Moises Alou never returns from the DL. Ever. Black hole. Could happen.
    2) L-Millz’s music career goes platinum. Realizes that the music world is far more accepting of degrading women than the world of baseball – even if the baseball world features Keith Hernandez.
    3) Shawn Green’s car stalls 500 yards away from the Shea parking lot. Shawn decides to run full sprint the rest of the way. Still takes him four hours to complete the journey. Misses the game.
    4) Mets discover that Carlos Gomez and Fernando Martinez are actually the same person.
    5) Tired of being asked about “The Catch”, Endy Chavez decides to live out the days of his life as a monk in Tibet. Mets still capitalize on the deal by offering “Dalai Chavez Bobblehead Day” brought to you by Oscar Meyer.
    6) Carlos Beltran actually buys a personality for $76 million. NY media labels him a loudmouth and wishes he’d shut up and just play the game. Beltran demands and receives a trade back to Kansas City because the only sane sports journalist is Joe Posnanski.

    Then and only then will the Mets actually play Rickey Henderson. ANd David Newham would still belong on the bench.

    This is a very long-winded way of saying “it’s unlikely”.

  3. Nick Kapur says:


    Paul, that last comment was inspired!

  4. Listen, I don’t give a hoot about who plays me as long as the hair is right. Remember the great shots of my office from the old Seinfeld series? Now *those* guys knew how to get the hair right. ESPN just doesn’t have the chops for this.

    If you want to get the real scoop on what’s happening in my life, be sure to visit my blog.


    The Boss

    Fake George Steinbrenner



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