During yesterday’s Red Sox-Mariners game, we became witnesses to history.
It was the first time ever that a man named after a breakfast cereal was run over by a moose on an ATV.
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As the Red Sox were attempting to take the field in the fifth inning, the mascot of the Seattle Mariners, Mariner Moose, came riding by on his ATV and clocked CoCo who was trying to make his way to centerfield. Crisp was fine after the incident and actually took it all in stride.
“I didn’t see my career flash before my eyes or anything. Actually, I was thinking of me being a billionaire,” Crisp said, smiling at the thought of a lawsuit. “I probably could have made as much as somebody’s wife divorcing a billionaire. But it was just a weird thing that happened.”
Come on, CoCo. Get mad. I mean, you kind of look like Rocky from Rocky and Bullwinkle! The script writes itself! The money will simply come pouring in. And maybe you’ll be able to get to the bottom as to why in the name of Travis Bickle did Robert DeNiro agree to be in this unholy piece of elephant turd.