So we here at umpbump often fling emails around tossing out ideas for potential posts. Finally, this afternoon, umpbumper Paul couldn’t take it anymore and finally asked the question that had been on his mind all day:


From: Paul Moro

To: Umpbump Staff

So, is anybody going to say anything about Bonds???

The following email thread ensued…

From: Nick Kapur

To: Umpbump Staff

I actually like the fact that we have collectively been totally silent on Bonds. I think that speaks volumes.

I saw that Bonds homered last night. I watched the video. I felt nothing. I went to bed.

From: Paul Moro

To: Umpbump Staff

That was pretty much my reaction too. I just don’t understand why we should care about Bonds to THIS degree. I have been all bonds-ed out for quite some time. Not sure why I should care any more now that the record has fallen. The sky is still blue, the grass is still green, Stephen Hawking is still smart, and baseball is still baseball. But a tornado in brooklyn this morning? Now that’s something different.

bonds.jpgFrom: Alejandro Leal

To: Umpbump Staff

I just felt bad for Barry’s kid. He got no love from his pops… he just stood there at home plate… alone…

From: Sarah Green

To: Umpbump Staff

What is there really to say about Barry that hasn’t been said before? Douchebag, cheater, lightning rod, scapegoat, and owner of the all-time home run record. Former skinny five-tool player and charter member of the 500-500 club turned swollen mutant cyborg. Yawn.

From: Nick Kapur

To: Umpbump Staff

We still haven’t heard from Coley. Anything to add, Ward?

From: Coley Ward

To: Umpbump Staff

Barry Bonds can suck it.


3 Responses to “Barry Bonds can suck it.”

  1. Sarah Green says:

    Coley this is hilarious! Also hilarious is the fact that I read a quote recently of Bonds saying he’d keep the ball for himself, because it could pay for his kid’s college. Taking the Doug Mientkiewicz tack, I see! Not that I want that leather-covered piece of cork in the Hall.

  2. Preach on!

  3. I love that “sucking it” is now part of y’all’s tag cloud.

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