• HaroldHecuba: Mike Mussina is EASTERN EUROPEAN, not Italian....

We here at Umpbump were a bit, uhm, apathetic towards the whole 756 thing. Can’t blame us, we’re Bonds-ed out and the instant re-runs of said home run are not helping.

Obviously, we’ve also stayed away from blogging about Matt Murphy, the 21-year-old Queens, NY native and Mets fan that caught the ball. (That he even held on to it is amazing, did anyone see that one dude in the orange shirt just crowd-surf 10 or 12 rows down to the spot where the ball landed? That takes skill.)

Anyway, Murphy said he was doing a 51-49 deal with his buddy:

“I’m going to be smart about what I do with it,” said Murphy, when asked about his plans. “Funny enough, I’m only keeping 51% of what the ball brings. The rest goes to my pal Amir Kamal, who was with me.”

murphy.jpgWell, you may wanna rethink that deal kid, cuz it turns out you’re carrying a helluva lot of taxable income right now:

As soon as 21-year-old Matt Murphy snagged the valuable piece of sports history Tuesday night, his souvenir became taxable income in the eyes of the Internal Revenue Service, according to experts.

“It’s an expensive catch,” said John Barrie, a tax lawyer with Bryan Cave LLP in New York who grew up watching the Giants play at Candlestick Park. “Once he took possession of the ball and it was his ball, it was income to him based on its value as of yesterday,”

By most estimates, the ball that put Bonds atop the list of all-time home run hitters with 756 would sell in the half-million dollar range on the open market or at auction.

That would instantly put Murphy, a college student from Queens, in the highest tax bracket for individual income, where he would face a tax rate of about 35 percent, or about $210,000 on a $600,000 ball.

Even if he does not sell the ball, Murphy would still owe the taxes based on a reasonable estimate of its value, according to Barrie. Capital gains taxes also could be levied in the future as the ball gains value, he said…

Dude;  just when you thought you had “won the lottery” as you said, here comes the Man to take all your money.

You could go to Australia, as you planned all along, and never come back. I doubt the IRS is going to fly half-way around the world just to catch a tax evader, even if you now are in the highest tax bracket.

Then again, you can sue the hell out of the IRS on the constitutional grounds of their taxation on your newly-caught taxable income. Hey, you may even win:

Attorney Tom Cryer, who hasn’t paid taxes in 10 years, thinks income tax “is a sham,” and argued in court that the current tax laws don’t apply to personal earnings, reports the Shreveport Times.

Cryer created a trust listing himself as the trustee, and received payments of dividends, interest and stock income to that trust, according to the indictment. He also was accused of concealing his receipt of the sources of income from the IRS by failing to file a tax return on behalf of that trust. “I determined that my personal earnings were not 100 percent profits, some were income,” Cryer said.

While Cryer agrees he has income, the U.S. Attorney’s office was apparently unable to prove that income equals taxable revenue.

So there you have it Matt. All you gotta do is create a shady trust fund in your name (or even on your buddy’s name) sell yourself that ball for nothing and voila, they can’t touch you.

Note: Nothing in this post should be regarded as professional tax advice. This is merely a satire of the delicious irony that is our bureaucratic government and all its ramifications.  

One Response to “756: Look at all those people piling on all that taxable income!”

  1. Like I (and Rick Reilly of SI) have been saying all along – he should have thrown the ball back. The fame and goodwill that that simple act would have bought him would far outweigh money from the sale of the ball.

    He would have been immortalized. Everytime a clip of the record-breaking homer gets played, they would show Matt Murphy heaving it back as a sign of just how little fans during the steroid era thought of Barry. Would have been classic.

    But instead of throwing the ball back, and appearing on Letterman, Matt Murphy is gonna be stuck with a huge tax bill. And if he’s not careful, he may develop some bad financial habits from having a windfall at the impressionable age of 21. It’s too bad. Matt Murphy had an opportunity to show the world that he’s bigger than Barry. But he took the money and ran.

Leave a Reply

Marketplace

    Subscribe via email

    Enter your email address:

    Archives

What's Popular

Featured posts

220px-Bbwaa_logo_web

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

According to the internet, "The Little Napoleon" John McGraw was the greatest manager of all time.

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]