For the last several years, especially during autumn and winter Sunday afternoons, Campbell’s Soups have filled our television screens with the boisterous Wilma McNabb, the real-life mother of Philadelphia Eagles quarterback, Donovan McNabb, boasting of her display of love for the son who is making millions of dollars by feeding him soup out of a can. Now I don’t know about you, but if my mom continually fed me Campbell’s Chunky and claimed that it was proof of how great a caretaker she was, I may pull a Drew Barrymore in Irreconcilable Differences and file for emancipation.But then there’s the unheralded Altagracia Alvino, the woman who had a man as huge as Vladimir Guerrero come through her birth canal. And lived to tell the tale.Not only has she given birth to two major leaguers (Vlad and the Frank Stallone of the Guerrero family, Wilton Guerrero), she makes sure that the Angels slugger is fed right. And that his teammates are too… And his opponents…

Her famous son carts stacks of filled Tupperware to the stadium before each night game, setting aside 12-cup containers that go to Dominican players and friends on other teams. Today, Minnesota Twins players Ramon Ortiz and Alexi Casilla, both from the Dominican Republic, likely will get tubs of chicken — the dish Alvino traditionally makes for the first day a new team is in town and Guerrero’s favorite.

Which would you rather have? A bowl of microwaved, over-processed, “beefy” soup or a home-cooked dish of slowly simmered chicken with meticulously prepared rice and beans? If you chose the soup, then dude, I don’t know what to say to you anymore. But it’s time we realized once and for all that Wilma McNabb’s credentials as a mother are incredibly overrated.

4 Responses to “Vlad Guerrero’s Mom Is Better Than Donovan McNabb’s Mom”

  1. Sarah Green says:

    I think A-Rod’s image turnaround has three main components:

    1. The clutch homers at the start of the season.

    2. His decision to stop explaining his “emotions” to the press.

    3. Last but not least, getting caught on camera with that blonde, and having his wife then show up at the Stadium with a certain profanity clearly visible on her shirt.

    Clearly, the goody two shoes, obsessed with image, unable to hit the big hit A-Rod is no more. It almost seems a bit TOO convenient, if you know what I mean…makes me wonder if the “Stray-Rod” scandal was really legit.

  2. Coley Ward says:

    I think the “Stray-Rod” scandal must have been legit, because there’s no way they would have paid a stripper to reveal that Rodriguez likes “she-men”. That tidbit was enough to convince me the whole thing was real.

  3. Paul Moro says:

    Sarah, I marvel at your hatred for A-Rod. Questioning the “Stray-Rod”?

  4. Alejandro Leal says:

    Man, I can tell you right now that this woman is doing a great service. Caribbean chicken (whether Dominican or otherwise) is amazing! The Angels should be selling that stuff!

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