(That’s “Rock and Roll Part 2“, sportsfans.)

I want to the play the Yankees now. Can’t we have a night-night doubleheader?

David Ortiz is David Ortiz again. “Show us some love,” he told the fans tonight (with a smile, of course) in his on-field, post-game interview. And what Big Papi wants, Big Papi gets. David, meet love:


So the Devil Rays had once again staked an early lead against an ineffective Boston starter. The Sox are down by a run in the bottom of the 9th, one out, one on. Ortiz strides to the plate. Hits a walkoff home run, natch. Ortiz drove in all five of Boston’s runs tonight, on two homers. He now has thirteen regular season walkoff homers with the Red Sox. I love this man. I love him more than chocolate, and my family, and golden retriever puppies. I think I might love him more than baby Jesus.

This is the perfect moment for this week’s Metro column.

PS—Last time the Sox played the Yankees, I was driving back from Rhode Island. I could only get the game on the YES radio network for unknown, possibly Satanic, reasons. The announcer is going on and on about how “If Jason Varitek gets on, that really helps the Red Sox, because they are that much closer to David Ortiz!” He repeats this theme about seven or eight times in slightly different phrasings, while I work up a slow burn because obviously it helps the Red Sox if Varitek gets on base because then we’d have a $%&#% baserunner, doofus-face. But secretly, I was pleased that Yankee folk still think of Ortiz as some sort of fearsome, omnipotent superweapon. The end.

13 Responses to “Cue Gary Glitter.”

  1. Coley Ward says:

    But are the Yanks just going to cut Moose? Or will they send him to the bullpen? Or stick him on the DL with a mystery injury?

    The Yanks owe Moose a lot of money for 2008, so it’s hard to imagine they’d just cut him. But then again, it’s the Yankees and it’s “only” money.

  2. Sarah, that’s two Gary Glitter references from you in the past couple of weeks. Yes, the man is amusing. And yes, Rock & Roll Part II is a quintessential song at sporting events because even the dumbest (i.e. most blatantly drunk) fan knows all the words. You can’t get much simpler than yelling “HEY!”.

    But the man is a pedophile, arrested for raping eleven-year old girls in Vietnam. I am opposed to pedophilia. It’s radical, I know. Call me a leftist nutcase if you must. But there’s only one thing on this earth that I despise more than pedophilia. And that’s the designated hitter. I’m just throwing this out there.

  3. The YES radio network? Um, WTF is that?

  4. Sarah Green says:

    Whoah whoah whoah. I had no idea that Gary Glitter had come to such a bad end. Though that video of his concert really creeped me out. I will never be able to drunkenly shout “HEY! HEEEEYAAAY! HEEEEYAY! HEY YAY HEY HEY HEYAYAYAYAYAYAY!” ever again. :(

    Pete, I have no idea WTF it is. I just assumed all the Yankee media outlets were called YES nowadays. I guess the answer to that is NO.

  5. RE: Metro Column

    Sarah, lay off the Caberknuckle. Wakefield gave up 13 Runs in his first two starts of 6.2 total IP this month. That’s actually worse than Dice-K. The difference is, the Sox rallied in both of Wakefield’s debacles, while Dice-K only got support in one.

  6. Sarah Green says:

    Rich, I assume you are talking about this bit:

    “The rotation, with the exception of Matsuzaka, has been lights-out since Buchholz threw his no-no. In their first 10 days of the month, not counting Dice-K’s meltdowns, Sox pitchers were allowing 2.13 earned runs per start.”

    Look at the date range: it includes games between Sept 1 and Sept 10. The figures in this column don’t refer to Wakefield’s most recent meltdown because my column deadline is Tuesday morning. Thus, the column was written before the meltdown, which occurred Tuesday night (Sept 11). However, the non-Matsuzaka earned-runs-allowed-per-start average does include Wakefield’s 6 earned runs in his first meltdown. Of course, if my deadline weren’t so early, I could have included a line about Wake’s most recent blowup in this column (which ran the morning of Wednesday, Sept 12). Instead, I had to settle for talking about it in this UmpBump post:


  7. Sarah Green says:

    Oh, and of course, obviously the post I left the link for was written before Lester decided to suck (and suck hard) last night. I must just be jinxing every member of the Red Sox rotation one by one. Sigh.

  8. Well, stop it. We don’t need jinxes this weekend!

  9. Sarah Green says:

    I know, for real. How about this:

    Beckett is going to be unbelIEEEVably bad. He doesn’t deserve anything LIKE the Cy Young. Beckett, you’re a tool! With unfortunate facial hair!

    And Schilling! You’re OLD, BUDDY. OLD AND SUCKY. You just can’t hack it anymore, chubs!

    And Matsuzaka! That was the worst 100 mill we ever spent! Dice-K? More like Dice…poop!

    The Yankees have this one alllll wrapped up. These games don’t even MATTER for them. The Yankees have an unassailable starting ro, an unstoppable lineup, and a freakin’ baseball guru/sage/lama of a manager. The Red Sox have no hope! None! Do you hear me fickle baseball gods?! THE YANKEES ARE GOING TO WIN ALL THREE GAMES THIS WEEKEND, AND THERE’S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT. NOT EVEN YOU.

  10. Hahahahahaha…

    Nice try. Absolutely hilarious, but dangerous. The baseball gods hate attempts to manipulate them like this. There now just as apt to make every word come true like you were some sort of prophet…

  11. Speaking of jinxes, apparently MLB is requiring playoff contenders to begin planning of a “Rally Day” on October 1st.

    There are still two full weeks left in the season.

    This includes the Red Sox.

    Knock. on. wood.

  12. Sarah Green says:

    I saw that thing about Rally Day. I considered blogging about it. I suppose I’ll have to…but it gives me a bad feeling.

  13. So what is the latest with Moose in the off season? Are they going to label him a Yankee or stick him on the trading post?

    Moose’s fast ball is no longer.

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