(That’s “Rock and Roll Part 2“, sportsfans.)
I want to the play the Yankees now. Can’t we have a night-night doubleheader?
David Ortiz is David Ortiz again. “Show us some love,” he told the fans tonight (with a smile, of course) in his on-field, post-game interview. And what Big Papi wants, Big Papi gets. David, meet love:
So the Devil Rays had once again staked an early lead against an ineffective Boston starter. The Sox are down by a run in the bottom of the 9th, one out, one on. Ortiz strides to the plate. Hits a walkoff home run, natch. Ortiz drove in all five of Boston’s runs tonight, on two homers. He now has thirteen regular season walkoff homers with the Red Sox. I love this man. I love him more than chocolate, and my family, and golden retriever puppies. I think I might love him more than baby Jesus.
This is the perfect moment for this week’s Metro column.
PS—Last time the Sox played the Yankees, I was driving back from Rhode Island. I could only get the game on the YES radio network for unknown, possibly Satanic, reasons. The announcer is going on and on about how “If Jason Varitek gets on, that really helps the Red Sox, because they are that much closer to David Ortiz!” He repeats this theme about seven or eight times in slightly different phrasings, while I work up a slow burn because obviously it helps the Red Sox if Varitek gets on base because then we’d have a $%&#% baserunner, doofus-face. But secretly, I was pleased that Yankee folk still think of Ortiz as some sort of fearsome, omnipotent superweapon. The end.