On Saturday, Bugs and Cranks brought us the news that Shane “The Flying Hawaiin” Victorino had adopted a mohawk.
Today, the Phillies’ website says that not everyone on the team is anxious to adopt the same look:
An informal survey of players most proud of their hair — Kyle Kendrick, Kyle Lohse, J.D. Durbin and J.C. Romero — revealed that none support the shaved Mohawk look of Shane Victorino.
Durbin offered to sport the look for “a few thousand dollars,” while Lohse gave an unenthusiastic “maybe” when asked if he could get behind a team-wide movement.
“I’m being neutral, and obviously, I’d lean toward ‘No,’” Lohse said. “In high school, the basketball team all shaved their heads and I looked like I got dropped on my head. It was just bad.”
You’ve got to love Lohse’s honesty. Some guys just have weirdly shaped heads. And those guys shouldn’t sport a mohawk. It takes a truly self-aware person to realize that he’s not mohawk material. If only Britney could have come to a similar realization before jumping into her MTV VMA outfit.
Lumpy heads aside, the best “no mohawk for me” answer undoubtedly came from Durbin, who sounds like a guy who fully appreciates that his mlb career is hanging by a thread. Durbin, who has a 6.46 ERA, will shave his head — but only if you pay him. He’ll take cash, credit, food stamps…whatever you’ve got. J.D. Durbin is not proud. He’s just trying to support his family.