I used to feel badly for ol’ Bill Buckner. I mean, how many times have each of us seen the ball “get by Buckner”? What percentage of baseball fans still think wrongly that the Red Sox were one out away from winning the World Series in 1986 when that slow dribbler came his way? How many people even remember that a great Game 7 was played two days later, where the Red Sox squandered yet another lead in the later innings? How much of the blame still gets placed unfairly on the shoulders of Billy Buck?

But you know what? I don’t have to feel that way any more.

Because Buckner’s either found a sense of humor about the whole thing, or he has basically said “Screw you. I don’t give a %^@$#&^*&&^%^@(!&^#$%%&&@^@%%@!~!+_*^ &^%*!!!^@$%* about you or what you think”. Which is incredibly harsh on his part because I don’t even know an expletive that lasts that many letters as this imaginary Buckner quote is using. In fact, I can’t believe that he said it (in my mind).

Not only has the man started earning himself some money by teaming up with Mookie Wilson to sign photos of that Game 6 error for sports memorabilia companies (have I bought one already? Yes I have), he recreates that very play himself in the upcoming sports-spoof “comedy”,  The Comebacks. Here’s a clip:

[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/pf4Y3hj1ijE" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

So don’t feel badly for Billy. He’ll be OK. But feel badly for anyone who willingly pays to go see this heaping pile of bobcat dung. For they have no sense nor taste.

10 Responses to “Don’t Cry for Bill Buckner”

  1. Sarah Green says:

    Coley, he wouldn’t have dumped the water there to create slippage (like a spitball). He would be using the water to help his jersey hold the dirt, which would give him a better grip on the ball (like pine tar). Of course, it wouldn’t be sticky like pine tar, or give him as much of a grip as, say, scuffing the ball, but it could help him hold onto the ball better than if his hand was clean. Especially if the dirt was damp.

    Why not just stick with rosin? The rosin helps pitchers grip the ball by keeping their hands dry (I can relate, as my palms are notoriously sweaty….ew, I don’t know why I just shared that), but it has less effect in cold weather (hello, October!).

  2. It could simply be a habit he developed coming out of Panama City. Likely, water and dirt were considered a inexpensive way to get a better grip on the ball. When he made the big leagues, he probably kept it up out of habit, rather than switching to rosin. After all, it’s what got him there, right?

    Then again, it could be completely illegal and he would join the ranks of ball doctors in the post season. Too many to list here.

  3. Alejandro says:

    The worst of which, of course, is Kenny Rogers.

  4. Tragedy + time + a sh*tload of money = happiness.

  5. Nick Kapur says:

    Thanks for starring out that letter, Pete.

    I know that I, for one, could definitely not have handled a lowercase “i”.

  6. Didn’t he move away from New England a few years ago because of all the nasty looks and comments he would get from complete strangers?

  7. Sarah Green says:

    Danny O, yes, supposedly he did get a few death threats in Boston after the 1986 season. Though he pulls this I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it-crap anytime a reporter asks him about it, and then goes on these signing tours with Mookie. Lame!

    Also, as a random side note, my sophomore year in college I happened to do a favor for a guy in my dorm (if you must know, he was desperately in need of someone to Bic his head and I was wandering through the co-ed bathroom around midnight) who actually dated Bill Buckner’s daughter. As a bonus for helping him with the hair situation, I was supposed to receive a signed Buckner ball. Alas, I got stiffed.

  8. Paul Moro says:

    Sarah, you may not want to use the word “stiffed” when talking about an experience in a co-ed bathroom.

  9. Sarah Green says:

    Careful Paul! I might have to censor you under our new comments policy!

  10. Paul Moro says:

    You said it. Not me. I just report the facts, ma’am.

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