• HaroldHecuba: Mike Mussina is EASTERN EUROPEAN, not Italian....

Dear Curt,

I read on your blog, 38 Pitches, that you’ve decided to play one more season in Boston. That’s great news! You’ve had a great career and you deserve to finish it in the city where you’ve had your greatest success.Jamie Lee CurtisI also read that there’s a weight clause in your new contract and that you’ll be working hard this offseason to lose weight and get in shape.

I’m writing to encourage you to make that weight loss quest public. In light of today’s release of the Mitchell Report, your struggle with weight gain takes on new meaning. You’ve got a blog — use it to tell the story of a baseball player who is working hard to succeed au natural. Show us before and after pictures and workout videos. Do whatever you can to remind young ballplayers that baseball is all about hard work and playing (and training) the right way.

As an added benefit, publicizing your diet will only bring you closer to your fans, especially those who have struggled with weight loss.

Moreover, it will be a great excuse to dive into multimedia. Compared to other athletes, you’ve always been ahead of the game when it comes to technology. But you’ve never been one to take advantage of graphics — at least not on 38 Pitches.  This is your chance. Photos, Curt! Photos!

Sincerely,

Umpbump

4 Responses to “An open letter to Curt Schilling”

  1. Don’t you do it, Curt! Don’t you dare even think about losing a few pounds! Big is sexy, Curt. Look at John Candy! The ladies loved him.

  2. Wow. That’s actually… a fantastic idea. Seriously.

  3. Nick Kapur says:

    Do it Curt! Don’t listen to Paul! Do it for the children. The ginormously obese children of America.

    The children need this, Curt.

  4. Sarah Green says:

    Do it for the Republican Party! Do it for Jesus! Most of all, do it for David Ortiz! Show Big Papi that where there’s a will, there’s a way!

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