UmpBump Presents: The All-Mormon Baseball Team
We’ve done the All-Smith team. We’ve done the All-Canadian team versus the All-Jewish team. And now UmpBump brings you: the All-Mormon team.
There have been nearly enough Mormons in the majors to support a 40-man roster. One thing the All-Mormon team won’t be short on is starting pitching. They’ve got right-handed All-Star Roy Halladay as the ace of the staff (lifetime ERA of 3.63 and Cy Young winner), followed by another All-Star righthander in Vernon Law (1950-1967, ERA of 3.77). After that, they’ve got lefty All-Star Bruce Hurst (1980-1994, ERA of 3.92), righty Kelly Downs (1986-1993, ERA of 3.86) and still-promising righty Jeremy Guthrie (4.11 ERA)
For a closer, it’s hard to do much better than Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley, a six-time All Star, an MVP, and a Cy Young Award winner. They’ve even got a decent set-up man in the form of All-Star reliever Rick 
Aguilera (1985-2000, 3.57 ERA). Unfortunately, the middle relief is much less inspiring–Kyle Farnsworth (4.47 ERA), Mike Fetters (3.86 ERA), Jim Gott (3.87 ERA), Ryan Jensen (5.06 ERA), and Jason Johnson (4.99 ERA).
Onto the offense! What kind of lineup could the Church of Latter Day Saints run out there?
Leading off and playing centerfield, you’d have speedy rookie Jacoby Ellsbury—and while I do doubt very much he’ll be hitting .353 for the rest of his career, it’s not a bad start.
Batting second and playing first base, I’ll go with career .289 hitter Wally Joyner, an All-Star and a lefty, who also has some pop.
Third, who but Hall of Famer Harmon Killebrew (1954-1975)? Don’t be fooled by his career .256 batting average. The man compiled a nice .376 OBP by walking his way to victory. Oh, and the 573 homers weren’t bad either. Killebrew played 3B, OF, and 1B in his career, but for the purposes of this exercise, I’m DH-ing him.
In the cleanup spot, it’s got to be MVP second baseman Jeff Kent. A career .290 hitter, Kent has 365 home runs and is a six-time All Star. And, he always bats fourth. Always.
In the five-hole, it’s All-Star Dale “The Murph” Murphy (1976-1993). A .265 right-handed hitter, he also hit for power (racking up 398 career 
homers). The two-time MVP also played Gold Glove-worthy right field.
Sixth, the left fielder, Dane Iorg (1977-1986). He bats left, to the tune of .276.
Batting seventh, the third baseman, All-Star Vance Law (1980-1991). The son of Vern, above, Vance hit just .256 but managed some power.
Batting eighth and playing short? None other than Bobby Crosby. The 2004 Rookie of the Year may bat just .240, sure, but the only other option was Luis Gomez (1974-1981), who had a career average of .210 and never hit a single home run.
Ninth, the catcher, Alan Ashby (1973-1989). He hits an uninspiring .245, but at least he’s a switch-hitter.
Who do we have on the bench? Ken Hubbs (1961-1963) is a defensive replacement/injury fill-in for Jeff Kent. Hubbs was the first player to win a Gold Glove the same year he collected the Rookie of the Year trophy. Despite hitting only .247, he was considered among the premiere second basemen in the game during his brief time in the majors. (Tragically, he died in a plane crash at the age of 22.)
No team is complete without a fourth outfielder. I suggest righty Barry Bonnell (1977-1986) for this purpose, as he hits a respectable .272. And as an
overall utilityman, I’ll go with Brian Banks (1996-2003), who hit only .246 but played most of the positions on the field at some point during his career and was a switch hitter. The backup catcher is John Buck, who hits a paltry .237 but at least has occasional pop.
The result? Not a bad team. Solid starting pitching and a great closer, not to mention one of the best 3-4-5 combos you could hope for. Two Hall of Famers, and two other guys who could feasibly be elected someday. Some Cy Young winners, some Rookies of the Year, some Gold Glovers, MVPs and All-Stars. They’re just a couple of converts away from fixing their middle relief problem.
The All-Mormon Team is definitely a playoff contender. And they’d definitely beat the Canadians.
February 3rd, 2008 at 10:46 am
But would they beat the Jews?
REPORT COMMENT
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:56 am
No. The Jews are the Chosen Team.
REPORT COMMENT
February 3rd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I would have to agree that the Jewish Team would be the favorites in a playoff series. Their offense is comparable to the Mormon Team, but the Jews have an advantage in pitching: I predict Sandy Koufax outduels Roy Halladay in Game 1.
But would the Mormon Team beat the All-Smith Team? That’s a much harder call. Both teams have pretty good pitching, but the Mormons would have to get it done with slugging, while the Smiths would have the speed and OBP for some serious small ball.
REPORT COMMENT
February 4th, 2008 at 9:45 am
The correct name of the church is “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints”.
And cooooooool, Jacoby Ellsbury is LDS? Another reason to like the kid. :)
REPORT COMMENT
February 4th, 2008 at 10:12 am
dum-dum-dum-dum-dum
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Who would Joseph Smith play for? All-Smith or All-Mormon? Automatic pitcher?
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
This is bullshit! How can you not include Cory Snyder??
The man had a golden mustache!
I even wrote a bio on him years back: http://choosepoorly.blogspot.com/2007/09/andyaudascom-marginally-true-sports.html
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Dale, I’m sorry to have overlooked anyone famous enough to have been blogged about by a luminary such as yourself. But Snyder’s name didn’t come up on any of the lists of Mormon players I saw.
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Well, that’s understandable. He’s more of the modern lynch pin of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints than a run-of-the-mill Mormon.
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Oh, and it was posited on Baseball Think Factory that the Mormon team would *not* in fact beat the Canadian team. While Coley’s treatment of the Canadian roster was not exhaustive, and the BBTF folks added some new names, I think it’s clear that the Mormons have an edge in starting pitching. And their lineup is filled with all-stars and HOFers! No, clearly, the Mormons have the edge over the Canadians.
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Although, Dale, I have to say from looking at his stats, and from looking at the strength of the Mormon lineup, I think the best your friend Cory could hope for is a bench role.
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I believe cocaine fueled his early departure from the league. He should still at least be the 4th outfielder over Barry Bonnell.
His career and peak OPS were superior and he was a better defender, e.g. he had a cannon for an arm (look at his assists) and was athletic enough to play 207 games in the infield including 73 at SS.
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Who knew Kyle Farnsworth was a Latter Day Saint? A picture found at the link below, however, might put him in some hot water with his local Ward/Bishop.
http://mybaseballbias.com/2008/02/05/i-didnt-know-kyle-farnsworth-was-mormon/
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Dale Murphy is a pretty formidable CF, did you know that in 1987 he had 7 “game winning RBIs” (back when that was some sort of real stat, real enough that they put it right on the back of his baseball card)?
http://88topps.blogspot.com/2008/01/90-dale-murphy.html
REPORT COMMENT
February 5th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Dale, fair enough. Snyder is in, and Barry Bonnell will be sent back to the team’s minor league affiliate in Provo, UT.
REPORT COMMENT
February 6th, 2008 at 8:12 am
You’re a fair and wise socio-categorical GM, Sarah Green.
REPORT COMMENT
February 7th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I thought Ellsbury was native american?
That said, didn’t the Eck have a drinking problem at one time?
REPORT COMMENT
March 11th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Sarah, Really fun article, and a good read. Just out of curiosity, where did you get the information for this article. Most of the names you mention in the article I\’ve heard rumors or know for a fact they are LDS, but Jacoby Ellsbury being LDS is a new one for me. Has he mentioned being LDS, or is this like a steve martin LDS folklore tale being told?
REPORT COMMENT
March 11th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Brandon, thanks! There are a few websites out there that list “famous mormons,” and I tried to only include players that I could find on two or more of these lists. As for Ellsbury, his mother went to a Mormon boarding school, and Ellsbury was raised in the faith.
Just reading through my BP annual, however, there seem to be a several mid-20s prospects who are late developing because they took time off for their Mormon mission. So if those players pan out, this list may need some updating!
REPORT COMMENT
June 1st, 2008 at 7:23 pm
What about Vance Law? (Vernon Law’s son) He made tha All-Star Team in ‘85 playing 3B for the cubbies. He’s now the head coach of the BYU baseball team.
REPORT COMMENT
July 9th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Shawn Estes? 2nd in Cy Young votes in 1997 and the NL All-Star starting pitcher that season? I’m not saying he’s an all-time great, but he’s got more bragging rights than Jeremy Guthrie and Kelly Downs. And Yes, Estes is definitely LDS.
REPORT COMMENT
January 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 am
I realize I am late to the discussion, but what about strengthening the pen with Brandon Lyon and Dave Veres?
REPORT COMMENT
January 23rd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
They forgot Clyde Wright, who still holds the record for most wins by a left handed pitcher in a season in Angels history with 22 wins in 1970, was 2nd in Cy Young voting that year, pitched a no hitter, and had a lifetime ERA of 3.50. He and his family are active in Anaheim, CA.
His son Jaret was pretty good too early in his career with Cleveland before arm problems slowed him down, and later had another good stint with Atlanta before signing with the Yankees and succumbing to arm problems again. If you take people in their prime, they have to be on the team!
REPORT COMMENT
January 23rd, 2009 at 3:55 pm
I recall looking at a book published and sold in a LDS bookstore in Cardston, Alberta – and it reported Jack Morris – the great pitcher with the Detroit Tigers I believe, being a member of the LDS church. Perhaps you could check this out and decide if he should be on your roster.
REPORT COMMENT
January 24th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Whoah, more and more guys coming out of that LDS closet all the time, I see! Maybe it’s time to update this post….
REPORT COMMENT
March 3rd, 2009 at 4:27 am
[...] to match up to some of the other all-time teams we’ve profiled here on UmpBump, such as the Mormons or the Smiths, and its fragile pitching staff would face injury woes over any extended period of [...]
REPORT COMMENT
March 4th, 2009 at 11:34 am
[...] at so far here on UmpBump. In a 7-game series, they would easily pummel the Canadians, the Jews, the Mormons, or the Smiths. They could also put up a pretty good fight against some of the teams we [...]
REPORT COMMENT
May 28th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Great post for all of us mormons out there. Jack Morris is a Mormon and played for BYU and should definitely be in the starting rotation, the most winningest pitcher in the ’80’s, 250 plus wins, two time 21 game winner!
Thanks again for the fun read.
REPORT COMMENT
June 29th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
[...] talented. After all, we want Team Hottie to be able to old their own against Team Canada, or the All-Mormon Team. Not to mention the All-Ugly Team, which is next on my [...]
REPORT COMMENT
July 19th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Roy Halladay is a mormon? That sucks. Why is everyone I revere religous? Religion is so damn stupid.
REPORT COMMENT