Spring Training is like the first day of school—everyone shows up with a new ‘do. Judging by the hair on display in Fort Myers last week, the Red Sox are in no danger of losing their place as the hairiest team in MLB. So many players showed up to camp in need of serious barbering, I just couldn’t decide which was most ridiculous. In fact, Manny’s famous dredlocks look downright mundane next the tonsorial disasters of….

…David Ortiz, who is wearing a headband, and whose chinstrap looks like someone’s butt….

…Daisuke Mulletsuzaka…

….and Coco “down in front!” Crisp.

Help me decide, UmpBumpers! Whose hair is the most preposterous?

3 Responses to “Hairtastrophe strikes City of Palms Park”

  1. Dear Sir or Madam:

    As a loyal reader of your excellent weblog, I wanted to tip you off on a site that my friend is starting dedicated to the recent cockfighting video featuring Pedro Martinez. Pedroscockfight.blogspot.com provides not only a low-quality video, in full, of the cock showdown, but also a transcription and translation of the play-by-play. A few standout lines:

    “Pedro Martinez esta muy contento.”
    “Tenia que ser en el Coliseo Gallistico de Santo Domingo.” (Translation: It had to have happened in the Cockfighting Coliseum of Santo Domingo.)
    “Juan Marichal is the winner; experience has triumphed!”

    Because the quixotic mission to promote the embattled sport of cockfighting isn’t free, my friend is also selling cockfighting t-shirts, magnets and the like via CafĂ© Press. That page is at http://www.pedroscockfight.com.

    If you support the cause of cockfighting, or if you don’t and just want to tear the site apart and send it to PETA, please consider posting it on your page.

    Thank you,

    Steve Burs
    Guy who wants to go to a cockfight, but realizes that’s not going to happen until cockfighting is fully legal in the U.S. because he’s too big a sissy to get into the cockfighting underground.

  2. Coco’s hair is the bees knees. Can we get a picture of him with his hat on? That would be awesome.

  3. Sarah Green says:

    Your wish is my command, Patrick! It appears our friend Coco has decided that *was* quite a lot of hair to try and fit under his cap—just take a gander at the new ‘do he was sporting yesterday:

    What a ponytail!

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