The title of this post is a bit aspirational—technically, it’s still Saturday night. But I assume UmpBump’s readers are awesomer than I, and are not spending their Saturday night sitting at home, bored, and surfing the Interwebs. (Technically, I suppose I’m watching The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, but never have I been so bored by Brad Pitt.)

Mmmmm.....Jacoby in a suit!Only a few more hours of that blessed event, the weekend. Some fine readin’ to ease into the day:

Dugout Daily has an interesting take on the Scott Spezio situation. How come the Redbirds didn’t cut ties to LaRussa after his DUI, eh?

A couple of recent Metro columns from yours truly—how come athletes can’t quite apologize for juicing? And more love for the Tampa Bay Rays.

The Red Sox visited some real heroes at Walter Reed, and passed time with our fearless leader at the White House. Manny and Theo took a pass. Not only do I fault them both for skipping out on the troops, I regret Manny’s absence because I personally would have loved to see the Mannyisms-versus-Bushisms faceoff. (GB: “I know you’re working hard to put food on your family.” MR: “You can’t eat your cake before your birthday.”)

It appears Manny Ramirez was meditating at the time (Boston Herald).

But speaking of Theo, Bugs and Cranks wonders who would win in a fight? Him, or Hank?

If you had to guess, who would you say Miguel Batista’s idol was? With Leather wants you to know that if you guessed anyone but Kenny G….you’re wrong!

Steroid Nation has the goods on Barry Bonds and this positive drug test (so much for the he-never-failed-a-drug-test crowd—suckas!), including this quote from the man himself: “And I just — I can’t honestly believe that just because this piece of paper says something that there’s a problem.” B, I feel your pain. In fact, I believe I said those same words last time I got a speeding ticket.

And finally, big party at Jose Canseco’s house coming up (via the The Onion). I have dibs on the steroid-stuffed lobster puffs!

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