Man, I am so stuffed.

Easter dinner was epic. We grilled out. There was chipotle sweet potatoes, salad, veggie casserole, grilled veggies and tofu, quiche, chicken, homemade bread, home brew and to top it all off, homemade shortbread and creme fraiche ice cream drizzled with raspberry sauce.

I feel fat.

I want to go to the gym. I need to sweat off yesterday’s calories. But first I’ve got to go to work and put in my eight hours. So, in the meantime, I’ll look at these pics of some of the Red Sox pitchers and feel a little less gluttonous.

The chipmunk:

Chipmunk cheeks Beckett


Hockey hair? Check. Hockey butt? Check. Somebody get this guy some skates!

Behold, the Mullet.


Meet the new Guapo.

New Guapo


The doctors said his arm looked like spaghetti. Mmmm…spaghetti.

He's on a diet.

5 Responses to “Wicked Fat”

  1. Sarah Green says:

    Coley!!! Way to go. Now Troy Tulowitzki is going to log on and read about how you bald-facedly lied to his face!!!!!

    Tulo, if you are reading this, I cast my non-existent ROY vote for you last year. Welcome to UmpBump. I’m sorry about Coley. He makes a mean prickly pear margarita, though, so we have to keep him around.

  2. I recall you slappin one of those stickers on a particular public transport vehicle here in Atlanta on the way to an afternoon Braves game. If you send me some more stickers I’ll spread em around on MARTA for all the Bravos fans to see.

  3. Sarah Green says:

    Any readers who see UmpBump stickers on the MBTA’s red line, or in Fenway Park, should also not be surprised. Or in the Loews at Boston Common, in the ladies room.

  4. That is a serious spare tire for Beckett…it really is amazing these guys can perform as well as they do with the bulge factor quotients they put up

  5. Troy Tulowitzki says:


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