For the last few years, Manny Ramirez had been something of a recluse in Red Sox nation. He stopped doing commercials. He never spoke to the papers. He didn’t go on television. But late last season, Manny emerged from his hermetic seclusion like a prophet returned from the wilderness. Nowadays, as befitting his new meditating, The Secret-reading lifestyle, he’s got the dreadlocks of a Bob Marley and the ‘stache of a Kahlil Gibran. And this week he offered some wisdom in haiku/poetic form:


It’s not hard to play.

It’s easy. It depends on

What you focus on.

Home Run Ball (Right There)

I was looking

For a good pitch–

Something that I like.

It was right there.

Like a fastball–

It was something like eighty–

Or a change.

It was right there.

Even When You Do Not Come Back

Even when you do

Not come back, we love this job

We love to compete.

All the Way

We never give up,


We just play


All the way.


David’s gonna hit.

That’s why this is a hundred

And sixty two-games.

Hitting for him

He’s fine. It’s only

Fourteen games. If he doesn’t

Hit, I’ll hit for him.

Good Things

There are things you aren’t

Gonna like, but you have to

Look at the good things.

What I’m Not

Don’t know, I’m not a

Pitching coach. You got to talk

To the pitching coach.

Contract Extension (To Work Out)

Why isn’t it going

To work out?

Of course it’s going

To work out.

Everybody knows it’s going

To work out.

A Player Like Me


changed everything.

Boston never had a player

Like me.

They had Mo Vaughn

In the ’90s

But after that,


Like me.

I went there,

And my attitude

Changed everything.


I can’t control that.

I just like to come and play

The game and go home.

8 Responses to “Manny being Basho”

  1. Paul Moro says:

    Sarah, I’ve never seen anyone live blog a Spring Training game. I’d make fun of you, but I’m reading it intently. So… What does that say about us?

  2. Sarah Green says:

    It says: we are baseball-loving freaks! But that’s okay. UmpBump is a nurturing, welcoming place for people like us.

  3. I’m one of the crazies enjoying this liveblogging. I am surreptitiously hitting F5 as much as possible.

  4. Nice work, between you and Jessica, I can follow my Mets without having to see it through the Prism of Jerry Remdog , Joe Castiglione or any other member of pink hat nation.

    Go Mets and keep up the good work

  5. Sarah Green says:

    Frank, I hate to break it to you, but I am a Red Sox fan. I wear a jungle camo hat, though.

  6. Just. Hilarious.

  7. David Ortiz has been writing poetry as well:

    One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with Manny.

    Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

    In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

    Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

    other times there were one set of footprints.

    This bothered me because I noticed

    that during the low periods of my life,

    when I was suffering from

    knee problems, hitting slumps or just not seeing the ball well,

    I could see only one set of footprints.

    So I said to Manny,

    “You promised me Manny,

    that if I followed you,

    you would walk with me always.

    But I have noticed that during

    the most trying periods of my life

    there have only been one

    set of footprints in the sand.

    Why, when I needed you most,

    you have not been there for me?”

    Manny replied,

    “The times when you have

    seen only one set of footprints in the sand,

    is when I carried you, Papi.”

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