Jacoby Ellsbury has been suffering from an “aggravated groin” (Fenway West). The other night at the ballpark, my friend asked me, “An aggravated groin? What’s an aggravated groin? How did he get an aggravated groin?” I replied, “I’ll have to get on that.” What I meant, was, I’ll have to figure that out. Badump-CHING! Tacoby Bellsbury should be back in the lineup tonight.

With Noah Lowry on the DL and Barry Zito headed to the pen, talk of a six-man rotation in San Francisco has died down. This pleases me, because six-man rotations are one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard of. Teams already have a tough enough time finding five decent starters, and as it is, the fifth slot on most teams is something of a revolving door. And the idea of a 25-man roster consisting of perhaps 13 pitchers is equally disgusting. But as Giants Win notes, the larger concern for the San Fran squad may be their utter and complete lack of offense—on pace to score fewer runs than a dead ball era team. Oh my God.

I, like many, thought Phil Hughes’ “oblique strain” was code for “needs to go work out his suckage in the minors.” But now they’re saying it’s a stress fracture in one of his ribs. Hughes says he has “no idea” how he got it. But how do you fracture a rib and not realize it? Given that he also suffered a strained hamstring and a sprained ankle last year, NYY fans have to be hoping this is nothing more than a run of bad luck. But on Bronx Banter, it sounds like hope (not to mention patience) is running out.

Lone Star Ball gives Mindy McCready’s dad an Inigo Montoya Award. Any cross-pollination between baseball and The Princess Bride is always appreciated.

I like the Brewers. I have three of them on my fantasy team. I picked them to upset the Cubs for the NL Central title. But I don’t see how they’re going to do that without Ben Sheets. His first three starts filled me with hope. His subsequent triceps strain, despair. Now I don’t know what to think. Fortunately, I have the Hardball Times and pitch FX to tell me what’s what. Unfortunately, they also think the triceps tightness could be related to a rotator cuff issue. Nooooooooooooooo…..

Did you see Frank Thomas hit that triple a few days back? Did you wonder, whoah, when does Frank Thomas hit a triple? So did MopUpDuty. My favorite nugget from this post: Mark McGwire had only 6 triples in his entire career.

This week’s Metro column, on why the Rays are for real, but the other April surprise in the AL East, the Orioles, are not.

And finally, the Nats have a song. So Bugs and Cranks came up with hilarious ditties for all the other teams, too! I will now joyfully sing along to the new, awesome, Red Sox fan song:

We’re rawkous (raucous!) for the Red Sox!

We’re rawkous for the Red Sox!

We’re crazy and we’re awesome, brah!

We’re rawkous for the Red Sox!

Sully and Fitzy and Paddy Go Bragh

We’ll cut yer fuckin’ face if you look at us wrong!

So let’s go Nation of Red Sox fans!

Let’s throw some pizza in the stands!

Let’s go Red Sox!

As the lyrics of Jonathan Papelbon’s warm-up song (that *Dropkick Murphys tune from The Departed) sort of sound to me like, “I’m a sailor BRAAAAAH! And I lost my BRAAAAAH!”, I’m happy to see the emphatic syllable making the rounds in other Sox-related shanties.

*The lyrics were actually penned by Woody Guthrie. The real lyrics are, “I’m a sailor peg and I lost my leg.” The leg part, I get—but peg? Is that like, “I’m a sailor, Peg” (as if to his girlfriend, Peggy)? Inquiring minds want to know.

23 Responses to “TGIF Reading: That word, I do not think it means what you think it means.”

  1. Nick Kapur says:

    Yovani is down? This is terrible news! I really like that guy. I am still amazed Ned Yost let him keep pitching, after he’d obviously torn something up in there right good. Ned Yost is insane and has no business managing a pitching staff – I think he probably cost the Brewers *at least* 3 or 4 wins last season.

  2. Nick Kapur says:

    Melissa, I agree with you that Pinella makes out really foolish lineups. I think much more than batting the pitcher ninth, it is just crazy that he bats Soriano leadoff – that is costing the team at least 15 or 20 runs a year, I’d bet. Fukudome should be batting second and Soriano should be batting 5th.

    But I do agree that Pie would do a lot better if he could bat ninth, after the pitcher, because right now he is getting absolutely nothing to hit, and he doesn’t have the patience yet to bat 8th and lay off all the junk they throw him ahead of the pitcher.

  3. melissa says:

    While I don’t like Lou’s stubbornness in not even considering batting the pitcher 8th, I have to cut him some slack in regard to Soriano leading off. Unless the Cubs acquire Brian Roberts or another traditional lead-off hitter they don’t really have a better option than Soriano. His career stats have shown that his production in the lead-off slot has not continued when he is lowered in the batting order. His strike outs increase and his power numbers and average decrease when he is moved down in the order. When and if they move him down in the order he isn’t going to drive in more runs because he won’t be seeing as many fast balls and having the same success. It’s a catch-22 he has the kind of power you like to see lower in the order but if you put him lower in the order he won’t produce power numbers. If they acquire a lead-off hitter they will probably have to move him to the 6 or 7 hole. Fukudome hitting 5th behind Ramirez affords him some protection in the order which I don’t believe Soriano would. I felt at the time and still do feel that Hendry made a huge mistake by signing an aging, defensively deficient, lead-off hitter with a sub-par OBP to a long term deal for huge money. After Barry Zito this may be one of the worst free agent signings in recent memory. I will say in Soriano’s defense that his 14 home runs last September were a major factor in the Cubs winning their division. I would also add that the team that scores first ends up winning the game 67% of the time so lead-off home runs aren’t such a bad thing.

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