Unfortunate Facial Hair: One Last Time

Meeeeeeeeeemories….

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Light the corners of my miiiiiiiinnnnnndddd…

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Misty, watercolor meeeeeeemoriiiiieeeeesss….

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Of the way we were… 

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Scattered pictures… of the smmiiiles we left beeeeeeeehiiiiinnnnnndddd…(oh yes, I’m still going)

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Smiles we gave to one an-ooooooootttthhhheeeeeerrrr…

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For the way… we were…

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CAN IT BEEEEEEEEEE THAT IT WAS AAAAALLL SO SIMPLE THEN ?

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Or has time rewritten every liiiiiiinnnnneee? 

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If we had the chance to do it all again…

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Would we? Could We? 

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The way… we were…

BallHype: hype it up!


Tagged:  Mike Piazza
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38 Responses to “Unfortunate Facial Hair: One Last Time”

  1. Brian Sadecki Says:

    Don’t forget: beats his wife.

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  2. The Modernish Father Says:

    As an Astros fan who had to suffer through many games with Lugo at SS, I can sympathize. That guy’s a black hole of both offense and defense.

    The only reason he’s on so many fantasy rosters is that little “BOS” next to his name.

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  3. Lyndsay Says:

    beats his wife? that’s news to me…

    the guy’s the weakest link in the chain. and when the rest of the team is batting above .300, it will readily become apparent. And I like that he jumped on the excuse bandwagon for last season about some apparent intestinal thing he had in spring training that hampered his ability to catch, throw, and hit for ALL of 2007.

    now he’s gonna cost them even more $$ to get rid of…thank God Drew shaped up his act, but yeah it is infuriating that he gets to fly by under the radar as a subpar player on a great team.

    how do you think the front office feels about him? any chance they’ll eat the $$ and make a trade?

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  4. Lyndsay Says:

    also, remind me of how/where we got him in the first place? are there some “intangibles” or obscure sabermetric stats that made him an attractive player to Theo?

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  5. Lyndsay Says:

    also, keep in mind Sarah the “newness” factor of Lowrie: most of the AL pitchers hadn’t faced him/haven’t faced him yet. like Ellsbury, the word’ll get out fairly quickly where his holes are, and then it’ll be up to him to adjust to that, and you’ll likely see a drop in #s at that time. so when looking at Lowrie’s success at the plate thus far, keep in mind that the pitchers he’s facing dont know what they’re dealing with yet.

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  6. The Modernish Father Says:

    Lyndsay: Lugo was arrested for allegedly assaulting his wife (slamming her head into a car during an argument if I remember correctly) in 2003, but got off when his wife changed her story during the trial.

    The Astros cut him after the incident and TB signed him. How he ended up in Boston is beyond me.

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  7. Sarah Green Says:

    I have no idea why Theo Epstein developed this apparent raging man-crush on Julio Lugo. There is nothing about him to like! I just remember that the Red Sox wanted a leadoff hitter and felt Lugo could fit the bill, just like they thought Coco Crisp could bat leadoff the year before. Plus, the Red Sox don’t care too much about shortstop defense, which I guess is sort of excusable considering Fenway’s extremely shallow left field—if the ball gets by Lugo, the LFer is right there to scoop it up. And it’s true that Lugo had had seasons with good OBPs in the past and that he’s a legit basestealing threat. But even so, there was no reason to pay him so much money!! None!!! Now the only way we will ever get rid of him is if we pay for him to play elsewhere, a la Edgar Renteria. Will that happen? I fearfully doubt it. If Theo Epstein’s man-crush has gone on for this long, it probably will survive anything that Lugo does to thwart it now, except maybe another sub-.300 OBP year. But say Lugo’s offense does rebound from his abysmal performance last year, and that Lowrie also develops into a good offensive, mediocre defensive shortstop. (Yes, his current .348 pace is clearly unsustainable, but he’s still likely to be a solid hitter at the major league level…as the pitchers adjust to him, he’ll also adjust to them.) Clearly, it would be better to have Lowrie at the position even then, because he’s so much cheaper than Lugo. But if you have to pay for Lugo to leave to make room for Lowrie, then it becomes sort of a moot point. I tried as many different scenarios I could think of, but unfortunately in all of them Julio Lugo stays with the Red Sox.

    Our only hope is that some other, dumber GM develops an even more bizarrely passionate attachment to Lugo and makes Theo an offer he can’t refuse.

    Sigh.

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  8. melissa Says:

    Boston’s only hope to get rid of Lugo may be to package him with Crisp. Since there is a market for Crisp whoever wants him most may have to take Lugo too. Even if this scenario played out Boston would still likely eat part of his contract. I couldn’t understand what Boston saw in him when they picked him up especially considering his off field issues, although most MLB teams have shown they don’t care if players beat their wives. When someone says that a team can’t win a World Series with such and such player at a certain position, I now say Boston won a World Series with Julio Lugo at shortstop. If that is possible then no seemingly weak position player can prevent their team from winning a title.

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  9. Sarah Green Says:

    This is true, Melissa. But I think they could get *even more* if they packaged Crisp and Lowrie together. Those are two really solid players and together, they’d both be cheap enough for pretty much any team who was interested.

    I really, really wish the Red Sox would just eat Lugo’s contract and send him AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE.

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  10. JohnFest Says:

    In tonight’s game: 2 on and 1 out in the 10th inning, tie game . . . And Lugo heroically grounds into a double play!

    Whenever he’s up with runners on and less than 2 out, I actually find myself praying that he just strikes out. I consider a Julio Lugo at-bat successful when he manages to only make 1 out instead of 2.

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  11. Bosox Says:

    that’s why i always prayed for the strike-out for him when he came to bat with one-out and two-on, he’s an expert hitter for GIDP!!!

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  12. Bosox Says:

    we might send him out with $$$ as Renteria.

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  13. Ian Says:

    I’m guessing after last night’s game Sarah, this rant could get even better.

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  14. Sarah Green Says:

    You know, Ian, I don’t know. Because even when Julio Lugo goes 3 for 4 with no errors and a steal (or some such), I feel no lessening of my seething hatred for him. Instead, I just feel an unease, a wariness, and I think to myself, “Watch out, Sarah…it might be a trick…”

    So last night’s performance is actually reassuring, in some way. An error, a GDIP in a key situation—that’s the sort of performance we expect from Julio Lugo. (Like JohnFest says, when Julio Lugo strikes out with runners on, I do breathe a sigh of relief.) A girl can sleep soundly in her bed, knowing that Julio Lugo is sucking and all is as God and nature intend. Plus, one doesn’t have to actually feel happy that Julio Lugo knocked in the winning run—a state of being that seems like a sort of Stockholm Syndrome, where we’d be starting to identify with our sucktastic captor.

    Perhaps, as the season goes on, my burning rage will subside. I think maybe I just forgot how much he sucked over the winter, so seeing his total suckage this month was like a slap in the face. Right now, I’m just praying for the necessary resignation and meekness to handle three more years of this.

    “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the courage to know the difference….”

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  15. Lyndsay Says:

    I did not know of Lugo’s wife-beating past. then again, that also did not stop them from signing David Wells, who is also a wife beater.

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  16. Lyndsay Says:

    I remember last season when the entire city hated JD Drew and the contract that Theo gave him. looking back now though, especially with him hitting well now (even in the DH position, which would have been unthinkable last year!) the attention on what Drew was lacking sort of let Lugo fly under the radar, when he is clearly subpar compared. Despite hsi struggles at the plate and propensity to ground into DPs, Drew was good on defense, I can’t remember him having many errors and is generally a nice, family-loving guy (he even had the endearing alternative energy question for Bush at the White House early this season, so he cares about environmental issues). you can debate me on this, but there’s really nothing unlikeable about Drew, except, that he had a bad season while dealing with some personal issues.
    whereas, I think all of Boston, as we are historically known to do, should be calling for Lugo’s head right now. Ellsbury is the best leadoff guy they have had in DECADES. if they aren’t going to bat Lugo there, they have speed and SBs in Crisp and Ellsbury already, and he’s error-ridden at defense…where is the benefit? what is he bringing to this team right now?

    the only reason he’s staying here is PR – Theo’s gotten heat for the Drew deal, the Gagne deal was clearly an absolute failure, and now they can’t get rid of Lugo. he’s afraid of eating another contract, and maybe and that’s all there is to it.

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  17. coley Says:

    Lyndsay, let’s get something clear: J.D. Drew is not a “nice” guy. He is Scott Boras’ puppet. He’s a spineless, money-grubbing creep.

    Also, I think the Boston fans are exaggerating the demand for Coco Crisp, who will make nearly $5 million this season and nearly $6 million next season. Crisp, like Lugo, is overpaid. And the only way Boston will get anything of value in return for either one is to eat major salary. Of course, it’s possible that there is a team out there who would be willing to trade for a Crisp/Lugo package, but I can’t imagine who that team might be.

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  18. Sarah Green Says:

    Coley, I agree that Drew is Boras’ puppet, but even though I insist on calling him JD Poo, I have to admit that he seems like a nice guy…eg, doesn’t beat his wife, wields a good glove, had an OBP of .373 last year. Yeah, the hyperbaric tent is a little odd. He’s not my fave, but he’s no Julio Lugo. I know he dicked over the Phillies and the Dodgers, but he hasn’t really dicked over the Red Sox (yet), so I can’t complain.

    As for Coco Crisp, Peter Gammons reported today that Billy Beane called Theo AGAIN on Friday to beg for him. You can disagree with P-Gam, but I’m not going to. I think you’re overstating what 5 or 6 million is in baseball today. Finally, you can’t really compare that deal to Lugo’s deal. Coco’s a bit overpaid now, but that’s because he hasn’t played up to the level of the deal, not because it was a bad deal at the time it was inked. Actually, at the time, the Crisp deal was pretty much universally lauded as a great move by Epstein—people even said he got him on the cheap! I don’t recall anyone praising the Lugo signing, for any reason.

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  19. JE Says:

    Regarding Drew, I would concentrate on his health and play on the field rather than the guy who represents him. Agreed: Drew did to the Phillies what Elway did to the Colts. But how did he screw over the Dodgers? If a team signs a player to a contract containing an opt-out provision, then why do we reflexively blame the player for exercising that right and not management for allowing it inserted in the agreement in the first place?

    I would imagine that Drew’s current contract doesn’t contain the same silly provision….

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  20. Sarah Green Says:

    JE, that’s a good point. I think the ire of Dodgers fans came about because of Drew’s repeated statements that he would *not* exercise the opt-out clause, only to then do so later. (To me, this is like Johnny Damon saying repeatedly he would not go to the Yankees…only to do so later.) But by then, Dodgers fans were so disgusted by his injuries and the fact that he didn’t perform for them the way he did his last year in Atlanta, many were were pleased to be rid of him. So depending on your POV, Drew either “screwed” the Dodgers by sucking or by leaving. Is this entirely rational? Maybe not. But so is my hatred of Julio Lugo, so I can empathize.

    Opt-out clauses are generally stupid. So are no-trade clauses. I’m glad the Red Sox FO doesn’t traffic in such truck.

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  21. rebecca Says:

    I think we have Lugo because Tito wanted him. He was always a pesky player playing against us on the (formerly known as devil) rays. Of course, as we’ve just witnessed, the rays can be a pain-in-the-ass no matter who’s playing for them. At this point we’ve become conditioned to groan at the mere sight of the man, but chances are strong that he will turn it around just like Drew has.

    As for Crisp, I believe he’s considered a great value for a veteran contract! Many people feel he ought to have been awarded the gold glove last year. His offensive numbers have not been up to career standards here in Boston, but he’s raking well so far this year. If he could just stay out on the f’n field for two weeks straight without straining his *whatever it is this time* we could probably work out a good haul for him.

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  22. Sarah Green Says:

    The problem is, when JD Drew turns it around, he’ll OPS in the high .900s. If Lugo does, we can expect an OPS in the .600s. At that rate, we really would have been better off keeping Alex Gonzalez.

    I agree that Terry was in on the Lugo man-crush, but I still don’t know what it is about him that so beguiled Tito and Theo. I suspect Dark Magic.

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  23. Lyndsay Says:

    Coley – so now we’re calling players dicks because of the agent they choose to represent them, and putting them on the same level as wife beaters? that really makes sense, considering Boras represents half the MLB. okay…so guy A chooses agent who can get him the best deal possible from the best team, and as far as we know, does not beat his wife. guy B slams girlfriend’s head into car hood. hmm, think I’d rather have guy A on my team.

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  24. Lyndsay Says:

    “As for Coco Crisp, Peter Gammons reported today that Billy Beane called Theo AGAIN on Friday to beg for him.”

    seriously?!? how likely Sarah do you think this is to go thru? and who would we get? please don’t tell me some “underrated” 45 year old washed up former 1st baseman “who can learn to be a catcher” but had a lot of walks back in May 2002.

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  25. Sarah Green Says:

    That’s a really interesting question, Lyndsay. Theo seems to want a lot for Coco, since whoever becomes Boston’s 4th OF is likely to get a fair amount of playing time with Drew and Manny at the corners. But Billy Beane is no dummy, either.

    The acquisition of Frank Thomas makes Mike Sweeney expendable, but Sweeney isn’t someone the Red Sox want or need. The A’s have a couple of decent fourth OFs in Rajai Davis and Chris Denorfia, but Oakland would have to give Boston someone else too, since a one-for-one swap of OFs makes little sense. If Oakland really wants Crisp, I could see them giving Boston one of their backup OFs and a prospect. One problem with trying to predict a deal is that Oakland is in a tricky situation—they’re playing to win but also playing to rebuild. If they start losing and appear out of contention, however, this could become a much bigger deal, with Crisp and some of Boston’s good prospects going to Oakland for a starting pitcher. This becomes even more likely if Jon Lester continues to struggle and if Bartolo Colon opts out of his deal (he’s said he won’t, but as above, you never know). Oakland starter Joe Blanton is rumored to be on the trading block, but he won’t be cheap.

    Otherwise, I don’t see a great match between what Boston needs and what Oakland has. For the future, the Red Sox would probably most like to acquire a catching prospect (which the A’s don’t really have) and a 3B prospect (ditto).

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  26. rebecca Says:

    Boston is not looking for outfielders in return for Crisp. They plan to use Kielty and/or Moss as a fourth outfielder. (Moss is drawing interest of his own but is currently unavailable for trade until Kielty makes it back from hand surgery.)

    Teams have been playing the waiting game here, hoping to corner the sox in a roster crunch or disgruntled player situation. That seems unlikely to happen in my opinion, and I’m sure we’ll see interest from more than just the A’s as the season wears on and injuries take their toll. Theo will be looking for prospects and/or pitching in return for Crisp, and he’s proving he can hold out for good value.

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  27. Sarah Green Says:

    Rebecca, I agree with you except for one point. Kielty and Moss are both okay as 5th OFs, but I don’t think either of them is the 4th OF Boston needs. Kielty isn’t someone I’d want playing very much. Moss has an okay bat and he’s fine defensively, but there’s nothing remarkable about him. I think a more valuable option for a fourth OF is someone who can be a defensive replacement or a pinch runner. If Boston deals Crisp, I think they would probably look to pick up a budget version of him from somewhere, if not necessarily in the same deal—a guy with some defensive prowess, a fair bit of speed, and not a lot of offense.

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  28. Sarah Green Says:

    Ooh, update (sort of):

    “Theo and I have talked, and knowing the type of players he wants in return, it’s not something we’re willing to do right now.”
    –Padres general manager Kevin Towers, on his interest in Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp.

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  29. Lyndsay Says:

    well, Beane is also known to get a lot of different teams involved and somehow end up with the guy he wants – I couldn’t even draw on a map for you some of those trades from Moneyball. So I could see some sort of multi-team deal going thru before the trading deadline that the Sox get to throw Crisp into, if Billy Beane has any say in it.

    they definitely have TOO many 4th outfielder options right now, so I definitely can’t see them trading for another one. Jed Lowrie and Sean Casey have both the infield corners covered, if they want to play Lowrie as a bench guy for a season to see how it goes. I don’t see them looking for a star reliever, seeing the failure that was Gagne. the best thign for them would be a backup catcher – God forbid they should ever have to use little Pedro behind the plate. and they should really look to get that thru a multi-team trade.

    Sarah – any “word on the street” about Lugo? I would love to get trade rumors started on him, you know, just to plant the seed…what I would give to have Theo’s ear, and just maybe once a day casually mention, “so, I hear so-and-so may be available, and they are really interested in Lugo.”

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  30. Sarah Green Says:

    Alas. No one is interested in Julio Lugo. No one. [Sobs]

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  31. John Siudut Says:

    You are dirt Sarah Green. The way you speak about sport, about baseball and about people is thoroughly disgusting.

    You know nothing. You are not a paid baseball analyst or on Boston’s payroll. You nothing of what happens in the clubhouse, in the general managers office and you don’t know anyone of great significance which is why you sound like a fool. You read scouting reports by men who are paid to watch young men play a game. And then you try to make it sound like you have all the answers.

    Dark magic…good one. You are not a fan of baseball nor could you be a real fan of the Boston Red Sox.

    There are Julio Lugo fans.

    As:
    There are Manny Ramirez fans.
    There are David Ortiz fans.
    There are JD Drew fans.
    There are Coco Crisp fans.
    There are Dustin Pedroia fans.
    There are Youk fans.
    There are Jason Varitek fans.
    There are Jacoby Ellsbury fans.
    There are Terry Francona fans.
    There are plentiful fans for every single person on the team and in the clubhouse….

    All of these players make up the great team that won a spectacular championship and I hope they win more…and they will.

    I am a fan of Julio Lugo and I am a fan of the Boston Red Sox.

    Your fandom is sleek, snappy and full of bunk.

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  32. Sarah Green Says:

    Wow John, that was a thorough ripping even more over the top than my over-the-top ripping of Julio Lugo! [Golf clap]

    You can insult my writing, but I defy you, sir, to question my fandom. That’s just low.

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  33. melissa Says:

    John,
    I’ve got one for your list:

    There are Sarah Green fans.

    I love Sarah and her hatred for Julio Lugo.
    It’s great to hear a fan admit they detest a player even though he’s on their favorite team.

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  34. Nick Kapur Says:

    I like how John says that “the way” Sarah “talks about people” is “disgusting” the *very sentence* after he wrote “You are dirt Sarah Green.” Nice one there.

    The fact is, anyone who is actually a “Julio Lugo fan” has clearly never actually watched Julio Lugo play actual baseball.

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  35. Dirty Water Says:

    Kudos, John. Sharp yet appropriate.

    To all you Boston ‘fans’ who believe your shallow criticisms have merit I’d like to remind you that you’re labeling Theo a buffoon by doing so.

    I’m a Lugo fan, or more to the point – I’m a Theo fan.

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  36. cj Says:

    what the hell is that brown streak on his left shoulder of his unifrom?

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  37. Lyndsay Says:

    oh man, even the horrid bleached look will not distract me from thinking it’s a midget head on a regular sized body. I think something went horribly wrong when he was coming out of the birth canal.

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  38. Unfortunate Facial Hair: Passing the torch | umpbump.com Says:

    [...] only UFH that we stand to lose. Mike Piazza retired in May (and to mark the occasion Paul created a Piazza UFH retrospective). Now it’s looking increasingly unlikely that Sal Fasano will find a job. And both Todd [...]

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