Our league leader, Paul, suffered a stunning upset as Alejandro’s team continued its inexorable rise up the standings. Sarah’s took two steps forward but then, mysteriously, one step back. And Coley completed a major trade with his fellow cellar-dwellar. But will it be enough to catch Paul? And can Paul hold off Alejandro? Will Sarah ever figure out this “fantasy baseball” thing and achieve her true destiny? Like sands through the hourglass……so are the games of our lives.

Sarah: I finished the week with an unsatisfying 7-5 win. Why was it unsatisfying? Well, my opponent, Sooze, played the entire week with two empty spots in her lineup. And I was winning 8-2 on Sunday morning. At this point, I’m just not sure what to do about my pitching. I try to be smart. I try not to play my guys in situations where they seem doomed to fail. Like the struggling Johnny Cueto, who I benched yesterday because I figured if any situation was going to be hell for a floundering rookie, it would be going against the Yankee lineup while pitching for the very first time in Yankee Stadium. Of course, Cueto finished with seven K’s, no walks, and one run over five innings, scattering four hits. (An hourlong rain delay then cut his day short.) And yet then you figure it’s okay to run a wily veteran like Pedro Martinez out there against the Rockies (although I admit, I had my doubts about the aging Pedro in Coors Field), and he gets slammed for six earned runs in four and a third. So as your fantasy baseball rookie, I admit it: I’m completely lost. Any and all suggestions are welcome. Until then, I’ll just be banging my head against this obliging wall. Hot: J.D. Drew, James Loney, Ian Kinsler, Andy Pettitte. Not: Jacoby Ellsbury (no steals this week, leading to a rare loss of that category by the Green Sox), Brian Wilson, Pedro Martinez, Vernon Wells, Carlos Guillen.

Paul: I ran into a buzzsaw and its name was Alejandro. It wasn’t even close. Completely embarrassing. He won Runs 45-30. Total Bases 143-93. RBIs 50-29. HRs 18-4. 18-4!!! 18-to-freaking-4. And half of my dingers were hit by Kevin Youkilis yesterday. So I had 2 going into the last day of the week. And I have many people to thank for my team’s offensive ineptitude. I’d like to thank Adam Dunn for getting me two whole total bases and nothing else this week, thus proving that you really do love baseball more than anyone. And here’s to Geovany Soto for that lovely .174 OBP. Chris B. Young, I couldn’t have done it without you or your 5TBs and .222 OBP. And Shane Victorino! Your craptastic week also deserves some recognition. (On a side note, there’s a very interesting race going on between Young and Victorino to determine who will be the guy most likely to produce ONLY in games where I sit him on the bench. Looking like a photo finish.) Lastly, an Honorable Mention goes out to Interleague Play. Without you, Jim Thome probably would have had more than 3ABs over the past three days. So give yourself a round of applause, you pointless scheduling catastrophe. Peace, God. Hot: C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee, Justin Duchscherer, George Sherrill, Jhonny Peralta. Not: Interleague Play, Geovany Soto, Adam Dunn, Shane Victorino, Chris B. Young, Huston Street, my pride.

Alejandro: It’s a week for individuals. So I’ll be poised in celebrating my solid victory over first-place ElDuquesInjuryReport (aka, Paul). Not that I’m a good winner, but everything has to have moderation. You might as well call me lucky because my team won even though the red-hot Chipper Jones went down with an injury, and both the White Sox and Marlins had rough weekends. Remember, it’s a week of individuals. Jermaine Dye was pretty much the ChiSox offense for the last few games, racking up 28 total bases, 13 RBI, 5 home runs, and 7 runs. His OPB? .440 thank you very much. The rest of the White Sox offense was a collection of timely hits and home runs from A.J. Pierzynksi and Alexei Ramirez (both on my team). As for the Marlins, a guy who is basically carbon copy of Hanley Ramirez broke out of his slump and… HIS NAME IS DAAAN UGGLA! Kid his hot! 22 total bases, 9 RBI, 4 home runs, 5 runs, and a very impressive .517 OBP. But again, I’ll be poised. I don’t completely doubt my team for this week, but I’m not expecting great things. Hot: Dan Uggla, Carlos Lee, Jermaine Dye, Billy Wanger, Kerry Wood, Gavin Floyd, Vicente Padilla. Not: Mark Hendrickson, Eric Chavez, Alexi Ramirez, Alex Gordon, Hunter Pence (bench-warmer).

Coley: My latest blockbuster trade involved me sending Jorge Posada, Carlos Pena and Jay Bruce to Sooze for Mark Teixeira and Jack Cust. Teixeira had a totally silent week this week. Until Sunday, that is, when he hit three homers. It wasn’t quite enough to put me over the top. I still lost to Box89RowKKSeat14 7-5, but it’s encouraging to think that Tex might be heating up, because when he gets going he can carry a team, fantasy or otherwise. Also, Vlad Guerrero looks like he’s finally broken out of his season long slump. But it’s hard to tell – everyone looks good when they’re hitting against Kyle Kendrick. Hot: Vlad Guerrero, Carl Crawford, Mark Teixeira, Greg Maddux, John Danks. Not: Carlos Delgado, Jack Cust, Dice-K, C.J. Wilson.

Standings (games behind)

  1. Paul – ElDuquesInjuryReport ( – )
  2. Scott – Utley’s Firm Quads ( 3 )
  3. Alejandro – Center Field Stud ( 5.5 )
  4. Doug – Swamp Dragons ( 6.5 )
  5. Sarah – Somerville Green Sox ( 10 )
  6. Kirk – Montefusco’s Revenge ( 19.5 )
  7. Ania – Box89RowKKSeat14 ( 22.5 )
  8. Bryan – Pirates in ‘08! ( 23 )
  9. Larry – croutchyoldman ( 26.5 )
  10. Coley – Crunkball All-Stars ( 28 )
  11. Caitlin – caitlin grace ( 31.5 )
  12. Sooze – freebase my balls ( 34 )

6 Responses to “UmpBump’s Week 12 Fantasy Results”

  1. Nick Kapur says:

    Sarah, the first rule of fantasy baseball pitching is that you always start all of your pitchers every chance possible. Unlike say, fantasy football, baseball is too close to a .500 game, and too unpredictable to play matchups like that.

    So you should just play all of your pitchers all the time, because at least you will get more of the counting stats, like strikeouts, that way. Inevitably, some of your pitchers are going to get hammered on some days, but if they are truly good pitchers, the numbers are going to even out over a full season.

    But if you don’t play them every week due to matchups, you are going to miss out on that evening out effect and might actually come out on the bad side of the evening out, and meanwhile you are definitely going to be missing out on precious counting stats.

    This principle also goes for hitters as well. Baseball is just too unpredictable in the short term – only long term outcomes can be (sort of) predicted.

  2. Sarah Green says:

    Nick, that is interesting advice. I began the season with that in mind, but I seemed to be routinely getting hammered week in and week out, losing all of my pitching averages. Maybe my pitchers just aren’t very good pitchers. :(

  3. Nick Kapur says:

    Yeah, I mean I guess theirs no cure for not having the right horses in the race. If you don’t have good arms, then you don’t have good arms.

    But all I really want to say is, if you are going to bet on a horse, then you have to bet on him completely. If you estimate that a pitcher is going to end up with a 3.75 ERA and 200 strikeouts by the end of the season, then you should play him every day and hopefully by the end the numbers will be there

    But baseball is just so crazy and random that it is too hard to predict from week to week whether a pitcher is going to do well or not (unless you have other information, like he is playing through an injury or something). The difference between the best lineup in baseball and the worst lineup in baseball just isn’t great enough to reliably manifest itself in any single game. Just think of how many times a lineup like the Yankees’ is randomly shut down by some team’s 4th starter who just happened to have a good day. That’s why we need all of 162 games to see these larger trends.

  4. Kirk Miller says:

    Good advice Nick. My feeling is that if they are not good enough to play then don’t even have ’em on your roster. That being said, sometimes it is advisable at the end of the week to bench a pitcher (or rarely, a hitter) if they can only hurt you in rate stats because the counting stats are out of reach one way or the other.

    My team played well this week. I managed to survive a same-day meltdown by Contreras and Litsch. Luckily, I had some great performances earlier in the week so I had a large cushion to absorb all those runs and hits. It felt good to sweep pitching for the week. My offense is still under-performing for the most part, but I did manage to grab 3 cats. I am still taking heart in the fact that I am in the thick of the hunt for the top 6 seeds.

    This has been a fun season and it’s shaping up to be an exciting finish.

  5. with how hot he is right now, you’d think Dan Uggla could try and relax a little and not look so scared shitless.

  6. dammit that didnt work. it was his team photo.


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