13 Responses to “Write Your Own Caption: A-Rod and Damon”

  1. Paul Moro says:

    I’m gonna be “that guy” right now.

    Halladay is, apparently, 31 as of today. Happy Birthday Doc! Utley is 29. This is a microcosm of what’s wrong with politicians and their mindsets. Short term gains are all that matter.

    Yes, I’m being a total jerk.

  2. Sarah Green says:

    Nick, I am going to pick your nit too. I don’t think 98% of people would have included Jeter on their list of top 3 position players! Yikes. You are portraying your own unwitting membership in the East Coast Bias Zone by intimating that Jeter is still relevant in such a hypothetical. I think after A-Rod and Pujols, the third guess is a crap shoot. It would probably split between a bunch of guys like Ryan Braun, Hanley Ramirez, David Wright, Jimmy Rollins, Jose Reyes, Prince Fielder, Grady Sizemore, and yes, Utley. But I agree with your overall point that the President’s choices are surprising and refreshing.

    That said, I also find President Bush’s knowledge of baseball slightly creepy, if only because I wish he were following international affairs in the time that he apparently spends reading box scores. Just think how different the world would be right now if he had followed his original dream job and become commissioner of baseball! He would actually probably have been a better commish than Selig has been and we would probably have McCain or Gore finishing up their second term right now. Wins all around!

  3. Sarah Green says:

    Oh, but as for who I would pick for my imaginary team, I would want to go a bit younger than President Bush. Jake Peavy would be my pick for a pitcher, but I’m not sure who I would pick for a position player. I mean, if you could have ANYone, and money was no object, you would want to get the best, most productive player you could—someone who can get on base, someone who can hit for power, someone with speed and defense. For those reasons, I might go with Hanley Ramirez. However, given the total paucity of young catching talent on the market and given the catcher’s traditional importance as a team leader and handler of the pitching staff, I might also try to just get the best, youngest catcher I could. Maybe Russell Martin. Don’t make fun! It’s much harder to get your hands on topflight young catching than it is on any other skill in the game.

  4. Scott Ball says:

    Hmm, interesting… I think this raises my approval of George W. from about a 65 to a 70… oh, btw, that’s on a scale from 1 to 1,000,000.

    For offense, the question for me is easy: Hanley Ramirez. Dude is 24! Pitching is a lot tougher choice… I don’t think Beckett is a bad choice, considering his ability on the biggest stage, but I would probably want someone just a little younger. I might go with Cole Hamels, also 24 and already in his third full, productive season in the bigs. He narrowly beats out Peavy, Johan, and Webb.

  5. Coley Ward says:

    Hanley Ramirez is a good choice. But he couldn’t catch a cold and is destined to be moved to the outfield. So he shouldn’t get any extra credit for being an infielder.

    I’d go with Justin Upton. He’s like, what, 16? And at pitcher…wait for it..Yu Darvish! I’m such a wild card, it’s scary.

  6. Lyndsay says:

    I was going to say the exact same thing – if only he put as much time into researching the countries he intends to invade as he does in his fantasy baseball team…well that just about says it right there.

  7. BravesFan says:


    Try to find the Bush interview with Joe Morgan and Jon Miller from Opening Night \’08, Braves vs Nats (Nats\’ new park opening). If you think that this was creepy for its refined awareness, THAT interview will REALLY creep you out. It\’s awesome.

  8. Sarah Green says:

    “…I’m telling you, you gotta switch agents. Warren Buffet is like ten times awesomer than Scott Boras.”

  9. “I’m telling you, Derek loves me more.”

  10. Paul Moro says:

    Johnny, what’s your secret to keeping your uniform so crisp and clean? I mean, look at mine. I look a total mess. Is it Calgon? It’s Calgon, isn’t it.

  11. A-Rod: I miss playing short. If you talk to Hank about getting me back over to shortstop I’ll talk to him about letting you grow a beard…

    Idiot: No way, he’ll never go for it. Besides, Jeter’s my man love.

    A-Rod: How about I give you $100 bucks then.

    Idiot: Uh, okay. Deal!

  12. Lyndsay says:

    A-Rod: our pitcher’s gotta bat in this series because it’s interleague play.

    Damon: wait, what? I don’t get it. what happens to our DH?

    A-Rod: the pitcher always bats in the NL. the DH doesn’t bat.

    Damon: ohhh I get it, and the DH pitches!

    A-Rod: …no. go get me a pen, I’m gonna write it down for you…

  13. Lyndsay says:

    Damon: Alex? Um, I have a question.

    A-Rod: yeah? what?

    Damon: um…how many center fielders does the NL have?

    A-Rod: …..just one, Johnny.

    Damon: ok. cuz Giambi told me they play a 4-man outfield. I know he likes to fuck with me a lot but…I just thought I’d check. cuz we got that series comin up with –

    A-Rod: how many times do I gotta tell you not to listen to that guy! he gets you every time!

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