The latest triumphs and defeats in the UmpBump fantasy league.

Sarah: Alejandro’s Centerfield Stud went head-to-head against my Somerville Green Sox last week, and I decided to talk a little smack right off the bat. “More like Centerfield Dud!” I quipped, prompting Alejandro to reply, “Really? After one day?” But the Green Sox finished just as strong as they started, leading to a 10-2 whupping, winning everything but saves and OBP. (And I came within .005 of taking OBP too.) Not content to rest on my laurels, however, I made some moves to ensure future success. Clayton Kershaw, on whom I used a waiver priority not too long ago, has been banished to the minors and isn’t likely to be recalled in time to be of much use to me. I dropped him and picked up reliever Damaso Marte, who has been pitching well and getting save opportunities with Pittsburgh’s Matt Capps DLed until September. And with Vernon Wells hitting the DL—again!—I picked up Marlins outfielder Cody Ross, who doesn’t have a great OBP (only .316) but who at least hits some homers and is swinging the bat well right now. Hot: Matt Kemp, Ryan Braun, Troy Glaus, David Murphy, J.D. Drew, Ian Kinsler, Justin Verlander, Andy Pettitte, Matt Cain, Pedro Martinez. Not: Brian Wilson, Xavier Nady, James Loney, Stephen Drew.

Alejandro : I knew it. I knew a week like this was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before all the injuries came to back to bite me and sure enough, this week was it. Dan Uggla was AWOL, Chipper Jones was hobbled, and Conor Jackson still can’t shake off the injury bug. I had decent weeks from the rest of the team, but it was no match for the Somerville Green Sox. It also doesn’t help that one of my stud starters, Gavin Floyd, decided to melt in the hot Texas air and give up five runs in 2.2 innings for a very elevated 20.65. Oh and Jon Garland joined in the 20+ earned runs party with 23.63 of his own. But I’m sure the Center Field Stud will put this week behind and keep on surging towards first place. Hot : Carlos Delgado (hot pick-up), Hanley Ramirez, Jermaine Dye (slump breaker), Tim Lincecum (when is he not?), Billy Wagner. Not : Gavin Floyd, Jon Garland, Josh Beckett (9.00 ERA?)

Paul: Dun-de-de-dun-de-de-dun-de-de-dun-dun-duuuun-duuuuuuuuuuuuun! That, my friends, is the theme song to “Bonanza”! I simply cannot think of a tune that more accurately expresses my feeling of victory. I slayed the Swamp Dragons (Doug) by the score of 9-2-1. And he was slimy. Oh yes, he was slimy. My offense did most of the work, winning all six categoties - and the only one that was close was stolen bases. Kevin Youkilis smacked in 10 RBIs (thanks to his 6 RBI game on June 12th), and was matched by Jhonny Peralta. Adam Dunn only got on base four times all week, but they actually all turned out to be dingers, which is nice. And Shane Victorino turned in a finely balanced week - 6 R, 2HR, 6 RBI, 1 SB, 23 TB, .452 OBP. On the transaction front, I got tired of waiting for Edwin Encarnacion to come around (I really expected him to do well this year) so I dropped him in favor of Marcus Thames, who I was surprised to see was still readily available. On the mound, the pitchers did pretty well although the Swamp Dragons put up a very good fight. Despite a respectable ERA (3.24) and WHIP (1.23), those were the two categories I dropped. Scott Kazmir has slowed down since his torrid start which was bound to happen. Ted Lilly got his junk knocked around violently. But enough guys like the incredibly underappreciated Scott Baker, Cliff Lee, and Justin Duchscherer did their part to limit the damage. And welcome to the National League, C.C. Sabathia! I think you’ll like the hitters in the NL Central just fine. Hot: Kevin Youkilis, Jhonny Peralta, Shane Victorino, Jim Thome, Justin Duchscherer, C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee. Not: Kosuke Fukudome, Scott Kazmir, Ted Lilly.

Coley : Another week, another loss. At least this one was close. Utley’s Firm Quads beat me 7-5. He took all the offensive categories, except for steals, and I took all the pitching categories, except for WHIP and K/BB. And I only lost WHIP by .07. Obviously, I need to add some offense. My .260 OBP this week was sad. At least my team is fast. Josh Hamilton, in addition to knocking in 11 RBI last week, also stole three bases. I saw Hamilton tag up and go from first to second on a fly ball to center during a Cactus League game this spring and it was the fastest I’d seen anyone move in a long time. I think he could probably steal 30 bases a season, if he wasn’t so busy hitting homers and breaking home run derby contest records. Hot : Josh Hamilton, Jack Cust, Rich Harden, Dice-K. Not : Mark Teixeira, Brandon Phillips, Yunel Escobar, Carl Crawford, Garry Sheffield.

Standings (games behind):

1. Paul - ElDuquesInjuryReport ( - )
2. Scott - Utley’s Firm Quads ( 9.5 )
3. Alejandro - Center Field Stud ( 11.5 )
4. Kirk - Montefusco’s Revenge ( 15 )
5. Doug - Swamp Dragons ( 16 )
6. Sarah - Somerville Green Sox ( 17 )
7. Ania - Box89RowKKSeat14 ( 24 )
8. Larry - croutchyoldman ( 31.5 )
9. Bryan - Pirates in ‘08! ( 33.5 )
10. Coley - Crunkball All-Stars ( 38 )
11. Caitlin - caitlin grace ( 40 )
12. Sooze - freebase my balls ( 46 )

Maybe I’m the wrong person to be writing about any team in the AL Central. Going into the season, I was pretty darned sure that the Cleveland Indians would win the division quite handily, and that the Minnesota Twins were a fourth place team. And I totally bashed the Chicago White Sox and Kenny Williams, calling them a third-place team at best. Oh how embarrassingly wrong I was. How incredibly, utterly, hopelessly, know-nothingly wrong I was.

But so far, I think I’ve been fairly accurate in my assessment of the Detroit Tigers (Hazzah!). To me, they were a second place team that was going to miss out on the playoffs. Good, but not good enough. I wasn’t sold on Miguel Cabrera this year. His transition to a new, tougher league wouldn’t be helped by Comerica Park. I felt that both Gary Sheffield and Pudge Rodriguez’ age would eventually catch up with them. Although Pudge has slightly exceeded my expectations, Sheff’s been hurt and hasn’t produced while he was on the field. And I like Magglio Ordonez, but there was simply no way in hell that he was going to duplicate his 2007 season at the plate. Nate Robertson never was a very good pitcher to begin with, Kenny Rogers was 43 years old, and Dontrelle Willis is no one’s answer. Consequently, what we have at the All-Star break is a .500 team that’s 7 games out of first and 8 games out of the Wild Card spot.

So while I do think that the Detroit Tigers will be better than they had been before the All-Star break, I also wouldn’t be very surprised if they never get within 3 or 4 games of the Chicago White Sox for the rest of the season for two reasons - pitching and defense. Justin Verlander’s Ks are down and his walks are up. Same with Jeremy Bonderman but even more so. And although Placido Polanco and Edgar Renteria had been fine defensive options in the past, their Revised Zone Rating indicates that they might be slipping. Combine that with Miguel Cabrera at first and Carlos Guillen (who still hasn’t gotten this third base thing down), you have yourself a pretty weak defensive infield. With the pitchers not striking nearly enough guys out (averaging an MLB worst 5.3 Ks per game), your defense needs to be much better because a lot of batted balls are coming their way.

How to go about accomplishing this? Frankly, I have no idea. Unfortunately, there aren’t too many answers down on the farm. Their top prospect, pitcher Rick Porcello, is a top-ten talent. But he’s also still a teenager and in High-A. And the rest? Not too helpful, especially since they traded away Cameron Maybin to Florida in the Cabrera deal and also sent Jair Jurrjens packing to Atlanta to acquire Renteria (yeah, that one’s worked out quite well, hasn’t it?). So what they’re essentially left with is a decent crop of talent who are all in the lower classes of the minor leagues. I suppose neither Polanco nor Renteria are untradeable, but who would take these guys and give back a better player at the same position?

And here’s also a big problem - this is a team that cannot afford to look into the future right now. Aside from Curtis Granderson and Cabrera, the lineup has no young talent. The Tigers have a very small window to win with veterans the likes of Ordonez, Guillen, Pudge and Sheff.

So basically, here’s what Detroit can do: Hope for the best. Hope that the rotation will be better. Hope that Joel Zumaya and Fernando Rodney stay healthy and effective. And pray to god that Todd Jones can continue to prove all statistical metrics wrong by successfully closing out games despite allowing way too many runs (the man has successfully converted 86.8% of save opportunities since 2006 - all while sporting a 4.29 ERA. How do you do this???). Although I personally may not think that they can secure a playoff berth, this doesn’t mean that they should go and blow the whole thing up (which may not even be possible at this point). Because as we’ve seen, I’ve been very, very, very, very wrong before. And it’s not like the Tigers have many other options.

- What They Need Index -

The site was down today. We couldn’t publish a thing. And so, AJC columnist Mark Bradley was granted a brief reprieve. But now we’re back in business, and now Bradley’s gonna get it. And I’m gonna give it to him.

In his column today , Bradley says the Braves won’t win unless Frenchy and Teixeira hit:

"Mark Teixeira has had tremendous seasons, but this isn’t yet one of them…"

Yes it is. Tex is on pace for his second best season ever. Anyone who thinks he’s under-performing obviously wasn’t paying attention last year, or the year before that, or the year before that. Other than his crazy 2004 season (43 HR, 144 RBI), this is as good as Teixeira has ever been.

I’m gonna go ahead and assume that Bradley, when he complains about Tex’s lack of production, isn’t looking at semi-sophisticated stats like OPS or runs created, but is instead focusing on homers and RBIs. And that makes his argument even crazier, since this season Tex is on pace for 30 HR and 120 RBI, which is the same number of homers and 15 more RBI than he hit last season. Moreover, 120 RBI would be Tex’s second highest total ever.

If there’s any concern whatsoever, it’s that Tex is hitting more ground balls than he should be, which is affecting his Isolated Power, which is down a bit from his norms. But his line drive percentage is right around where it should be.

Why would Bradley expect more from Teixeira? The first baseman mashed last year after he was traded to Atlanta. Maybe Bradley thought that was sustainable. But anybody who thinks a .500 average with runners in scoring position is sustainable should have his head examined.

I’m not saying this is as good as Tex gets. I think he’ll improve in the second half. His BABiP is usually well over .300, but so far this year he’s at .287. So that’s going to go up. And when it does, his batting average should go up, too.

But even if Teixeira simply continues doing what he’s been doing, that’s still pretty good. And if thus far the Braves’ first baseman has failed to meet your expectations, then your expectations were too high.

NOTE: Paul Moro contributed to this post. But most of the really serious thinking was done by yours truly. Spelling mistakes, typos, gaps in logic – that was all Paul.