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The latest triumphs and defeats in the UmpBump fantasy league.

Sarah: Alejandro’s Centerfield Stud went head-to-head against my Somerville Green Sox last week, and I decided to talk a little smack right off the bat. “More like Centerfield Dud!” I quipped, prompting Alejandro to reply, “Really? After one day?” But the Green Sox finished just as strong as they started, leading to a 10-2 whupping, winning everything but saves and OBP. (And I came within .005 of taking OBP too.) Not content to rest on my laurels, however, I made some moves to ensure future success. Clayton Kershaw, on whom I used a waiver priority not too long ago, has been banished to the minors and isn’t likely to be recalled in time to be of much use to me. I dropped him and picked up reliever Damaso Marte, who has been pitching well and getting save opportunities with Pittsburgh’s Matt Capps DLed until September. And with Vernon Wells hitting the DL—again!—I picked up Marlins outfielder Cody Ross, who doesn’t have a great OBP (only .316) but who at least hits some homers and is swinging the bat well right now. Hot: Matt Kemp, Ryan Braun, Troy Glaus, David Murphy, J.D. Drew, Ian Kinsler, Justin Verlander, Andy Pettitte, Matt Cain, Pedro Martinez. Not: Brian Wilson, Xavier Nady, James Loney, Stephen Drew.

Alejandro : I knew it. I knew a week like this was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before all the injuries came to back to bite me and sure enough, this week was it. Dan Uggla was AWOL, Chipper Jones was hobbled, and Conor Jackson still can’t shake off the injury bug. I had decent weeks from the rest of the team, but it was no match for the Somerville Green Sox. It also doesn’t help that one of my stud starters, Gavin Floyd, decided to melt in the hot Texas air and give up five runs in 2.2 innings for a very elevated 20.65. Oh and Jon Garland joined in the 20+ earned runs party with 23.63 of his own. But I’m sure the Center Field Stud will put this week behind and keep on surging towards first place. Hot : Carlos Delgado (hot pick-up), Hanley Ramirez, Jermaine Dye (slump breaker), Tim Lincecum (when is he not?), Billy Wagner. Not : Gavin Floyd, Jon Garland, Josh Beckett (9.00 ERA?)

Paul: Dun-de-de-dun-de-de-dun-de-de-dun-dun-duuuun-duuuuuuuuuuuuun! That, my friends, is the theme song to “Bonanza”! I simply cannot think of a tune that more accurately expresses my feeling of victory. I slayed the Swamp Dragons (Doug) by the score of 9-2-1. And he was slimy. Oh yes, he was slimy. My offense did most of the work, winning all six categoties – and the only one that was close was stolen bases. Kevin Youkilis smacked in 10 RBIs (thanks to his 6 RBI game on June 12th), and was matched by Jhonny Peralta. Adam Dunn only got on base four times all week, but they actually all turned out to be dingers, which is nice. And Shane Victorino turned in a finely balanced week – 6 R, 2HR, 6 RBI, 1 SB, 23 TB, .452 OBP. On the transaction front, I got tired of waiting for Edwin Encarnacion to come around (I really expected him to do well this year) so I dropped him in favor of Marcus Thames, who I was surprised to see was still readily available. On the mound, the pitchers did pretty well although the Swamp Dragons put up a very good fight. Despite a respectable ERA (3.24) and WHIP (1.23), those were the two categories I dropped. Scott Kazmir has slowed down since his torrid start which was bound to happen. Ted Lilly got his junk knocked around violently. But enough guys like the incredibly underappreciated Scott Baker, Cliff Lee, and Justin Duchscherer did their part to limit the damage. And welcome to the National League, C.C. Sabathia! I think you’ll like the hitters in the NL Central just fine. Hot: Kevin Youkilis, Jhonny Peralta, Shane Victorino, Jim Thome, Justin Duchscherer, C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee. Not: Kosuke Fukudome, Scott Kazmir, Ted Lilly.

Coley : Another week, another loss. At least this one was close. Utley’s Firm Quads beat me 7-5. He took all the offensive categories, except for steals, and I took all the pitching categories, except for WHIP and K/BB. And I only lost WHIP by .07. Obviously, I need to add some offense. My .260 OBP this week was sad. At least my team is fast. Josh Hamilton, in addition to knocking in 11 RBI last week, also stole three bases. I saw Hamilton tag up and go from first to second on a fly ball to center during a Cactus League game this spring and it was the fastest I’d seen anyone move in a long time. I think he could probably steal 30 bases a season, if he wasn’t so busy hitting homers and breaking home run derby contest records. Hot : Josh Hamilton, Jack Cust, Rich Harden, Dice-K. Not : Mark Teixeira, Brandon Phillips, Yunel Escobar, Carl Crawford, Garry Sheffield.

Standings (games behind):

  1. Paul – ElDuquesInjuryReport ( – )
  2. Scott – Utley’s Firm Quads ( 9.5 )
  3. Alejandro – Center Field Stud ( 11.5 )
  4. Kirk – Montefusco’s Revenge ( 15 )
  5. Doug – Swamp Dragons ( 16 )
  6. Sarah – Somerville Green Sox ( 17 )
  7. Ania – Box89RowKKSeat14 ( 24 )
  8. Larry – croutchyoldman ( 31.5 )
  9. Bryan – Pirates in ‘08! ( 33.5 )
  10. Coley – Crunkball All-Stars ( 38 )
  11. Caitlin – caitlin grace ( 40 )
  12. Sooze – freebase my balls ( 46 )

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