As the days to the trade deadline melt away quicker than an ice cream cone dropped on a hot July sidewalk, the UmpBump staff email is lighting up with trade talk (and, of course, snark):
Paul: Now the Diamondbacks have Jon Rauch AND Randy Johnson. So can we still call Johnson Big Unit? He’s not even the biggest pitcher on his own team anymore.
Nick: I vote we call Rauch “Bigger Unit.”
Alejandro: Rauch is a tall mofo, ain’t he the tallest big leaguer?
Paul: Yes. Rauch is 6’11. Johnson is 6’10. But Rauch is also built like a tank. Johnson, well, looks like a johnson.
Sarah: So then Rauch isn’t the Big Unit. He’s more like the Huge Deuce?
Can this possibly be true?
Rockies were asking for Buchholz
The price for Fuentes appears to be pretty high. According to the Denver Post, the Rockies are looking for a premium starting pitcher in return. A Rockies source told the Denver Post that Colorado was asking for Clay Buchholz from the Red Sox or Ian Kennedy from the Yankees.
Coley: I don’t doubt they asked about Buchholz. But if that’s what they insisted on, then it’s no wonder Fuentes is still a Rockies player.
Sarah: No wonder that the Theo recently said that the bullpen help will have to come from within:
“It’s really almost a fantasy at this point to think that that we can make a move for that type of guy,” said Epstein. “It just rarely happens, and the price is so sky-high right now that we’d be doing a disservice to the organization to give up impact young players for a reliever who may or may not make us better. But we’re going to keep trying, I hope we can make something happen, but the answer definitely lies within.”
Maybe he’s wised up since the Gagne trade last year, which I was thinking about again just yesterday. It was such a bad, bad trade for the Red Sox. David Murphy is currently part of one of the best offensive outfields in the majors (his OBP isn’t that great, but he does have 13 homers so far…not too shabby for a guy many saw as just a AAAA kind of player), Engel Beltre was just Baseball America’s prospect of the week (or whatever they call it—he’s tearing shit up, basically), and Kason Gabbard—well, he’s on the DL and sort of fell apart a little bit this year. But even so. He still pitched better than Gagne.
Nick: Which all just makes it so amazing that the Diamondbacks got closer Jon Rauch for just Emilio Bonafacio, who will probably never be more than a bench player at best.
Stupid Jim Bowden. Why does he have to go and help the D-backs like that?
Coley: Nick, I think Bonafacio will be a starter next year. I’m not saying he should be. But I think he will be.
Nick: It’s crazy that people are rating Manny by RBI.
Sarah: I KNOW. It’s the talk of the town—and it’s driving me nuts.
Nick: Anyway, I’m going to write the What They Need for the Mets. I think they need two outfielders, because right now they are going with Endy Chavez and Fernadno Tatis in LF and RF.
Sarah: Is that what caused them to underachieve so woefully this year?
Nick: I don’t think they’ve underachieved. I think that 53-47 is about where this team should be. It’s an aged team.
Sarah: Well, I guess the perception was that Santana put them over the top, that they would be able to put distance between themselves and Philly….let alone the Marlins.
Nick: Yes, but their offense was secretly very suspect. Carlos Delgado, Carlos Beltran, Moises Alou, Luis Castillo, Brian Schneider…all are really old, and already in decline.
Sarah: Well, they might be able to get a future HOF leftfielder right about now…who is also old and Hispanic, like the rest of their team.
Nick: You mean trade for Manny?
Sarah: I think the Sox FO wants to get rid of him.
Nick: Really? You think Theo doesn’t want to pick up his option?
Sarah: I’m deeply suspicious. I’ve seen this pattern before. Boston’s front office always seems to spread dirt about their stars to prepare the masses for the inevitable trade/departure. Besides, he was Dan Duquette’s biggest signing, and Theo/Lucchino both seem to have some kind of Oedipal thing with the Duke.
Do you think relievers are getting more expensive than a full gas tank these days? And would the Sox really deal Manny? Would the Mets (or another team) even take him, or am I just making stuff up? (Probably the latter.) And more importantly, what do you think Jon Rauch’s new nickname should be?