Kevin Costner is in a band. You probably don’t care. But if you’re a baseball fan, odds are you’re a “Bull Durham” fan. So maybe you’ll find this snippet from a recent Costner Q&A interesting:

Q: Is this the first time you’ve sung in a movie? [Costner sings in "Swing Vote," with his real-life band, Modern West.]

A: I did, actually, in “Bull Durham” and it got cut. It was a scene where I fight with Nuke [Tim Robbins]. That scene was originally where Crash [Costner's character] hung out at a [house of prostitution]. He’s sitting at a piano playing “Unchained Melody” and I’ve got this 70-year-old [prostitute] sitting next to me with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, and I’m singing, “Oh, my love, my darling. …” It’s a classic, classic scene.

And yet the [screening] audiences were asked what scene bothered them the most. And they didn’t like that. So they reconstructed a scene where I hung out in a pool hall, another sign of a misspent youth. But I like the ambiguousness of things.

I wonder what bothered the screening audience the most, the prostitutes or Costner’s singing?

In yesterday’s St. Louis Post Dispatch, Derrick Goold quotes Cardinals manager Tony La Russa confirming that despite closer Ryan Franklin’s recent struggles, that no change in the bullpen hierarchy was going to happen:

“When Franklin is fresh, he’s going to get the ninth inning. He’s the best guy we have for that role.”

Today, ESPN is reporting that La Russa has given the closer’s role back to Jason Israinghausen and that both Izzy and Franklin were notified of this decision yesterday afternoon - probably a couple hours after Cardinals fans would have read that Goold article supporting Franklin.

Throw in the fact that La Russa let Jason Isringhausen bat in the sixth inning with runners on second and third with two outs in Saturday’s game against the Mets and then didn’t let Izzy come out to pitch the bottom of the inning despite the fact that the Cards had plenty of pinch hitters left on their bench at that point, and I give up. I have no idea what that guy is thinking anymore. Not that I nor anyone else ever did.

There are very few players in baseball that polarize the supporters of traditional and sabermetric statistics than the Cincinatti Reds’ Adam Dunn. Those who favor traditional stats look at his career .247 batting average and the tons of strikeouts he accumulates. The sabermetric crowd loves his on-base and slugging percentages and are more willing to overlook his deficiencies. If you’ve read UmpBump regularly, then you probably know that I’m pretty firmly on the sabermetric side. And no, I was not a math geek growing up. Hated it, in fact.

Anyhow, it should come as no surprise when I say that Adam Dunn just might be the most underrated hitter in baseball today and I would love to have the guy play for my New York Mets this year. But if Joel Sherman of the New York Post is correct (and when is the Post ever wrong?), that’s simply a pipe dream. Not because the Mets don’t have the pieces to get the deal done - which is probably true - but, even more disconcertingly, because they’re evaluating him using these traditional stats that do not do players like Dunn much justice:

The Mets did consider Cincinnati’s Adam Dunn, but his poor defense, historical problems in clutch situations and high strikeout rates have eliminated interest.

His defense does leave something to be desired. Regardless of whether he’s evaluated using traditional (2007 fielding percentage of .976 in left field) or sabermetric (.826 Revised Zone Rating and 31 out-of-zone plays made in 2007) numbers, Adam Dunn is a below-average left fielder. However, according to the Sherman article as well as MLBTradeRumors.com, the Mets are strongly considering Raul Ibanez of the Mariners instead. While I like the idea of bringing Ibanez into the fold, I do wonder why the question of defense doesn’t come up in this instance. His fielding percentage was pretty much identical to Dunn’s (.975) last season and his zone rating (percentage of balls that were hit into a typical left fielder’s fielding zone and was fielded cleanly) was worse at .813. Ibanez did field more out-of-zone balls (41), but put it all together and you have two fielders with similar levels of ability. If defense is an issue with Dunn, why not so for Ibanez?

Next up on the list of undue criticisms is the idea that Adam Dunn has “historical problems in clutch situations”. This is a tricky area because the word “clutch” means different things to different people and often varies in meaning depending upon the argument one’s trying to make. Statements like “he’s not clutch because he doesn’t hit with runners in scoring position”, “he’s not clutch because he doesn’t hit in the later innings in close games”, or “he’s not clutch because he didn’t hit in April/May/June/July/August/September/October when his team needed him the most” get bandied about at one’s convenience.

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Manny’s poetry has lately taken a darker, more existential twist. A brief selection from the “Enough is Enough” collection:

Tired and Silent

I don’t want to talk to them

about contracts right now. So what?

I know they got me,

but enough

is enough.

I’m tired of them,

they’re tired of me.

Contents of a Letter…Or Whatever.

After 2008, just send me a letter

Or whatever.

You don’t even got to call my agent

Or whatever.

‘Hey, thank you for everything.

‘You’re going to

Become a free agent.

We’re not going to

Pick up your option in ‘09.’

I’m happy,

But enough is enough.

You know?

That’s it.

Trade Deadline Assessment

They’re not going to

Pull the trigger, because they

Know what they’ve got here.

2009

Don’t worry about

It. Enough is enough. In

Oh-Nine, I move on.

How Much is Enough? [They Know]

They know.

You got to ask Theo and John Henry.

They know.

I gotta go hit guys.

My Job is to Play Baseball

I don’t care where I

Play, I can even play in

Iraq if need be.

For Manny’s previous works, see here, here, and here.

GREENSBORO, NC - Saturday night, I was in Lancaster, PA watching the Barnstormers notch an action-packed victory over the Newark Bears, but I had to get back on the road quickly to make it down to North Carolina by dinnertime. So I’m only just now posting my photos. Take a look after the jump!

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The playoff picture is starting to form already in the UmpBump league, with seven teams vying for the six postseason births… And the only UmpBump writer currently out of the picture is Coley… But the huge deal he made with Alejandro this past week coupled with the return of Alfonso Soriano to his lineup could make the Crunkball All-Stars a juggernaut the rest of the way. So what happened this week? Read on!

Paul: As of last night, I was down 5-7 against the croutchy old man himself, aka croutchyoldman (Larry). This morning, I sat down at my computer and contemplated how I could frame my defeat in a positive light. “Think of the orphans”, I said to myself. “Don’t let them see you dejected. Don’t let them see you cry. It would frighten them. Because you know how incredibly scrunched up your face gets when you cry. You look like a shar-pei. It’s really quite ugly.” Determined to take defeat graciously, I checked the final numbers to write this post. Turns out that I won. Flipped the score 7-5 as I picked up 3 saves last night to take the category 6-5, and somehow also overtook him in K/BB ratio as well. I was pretty much dominated in the offensive categories, only taking OBP. But I also ended up sweeping the pitching categories. And now I can look those (imaginary) orphans in the face and tell them, “Look at me. This is how a man celebrates when he wins. He gloats uncontrollably, unnecessarily makes others feel badly, and comes out the other side a lesser being.” And that, my friends, is going to feel good. Hot: David Wright, Matt Holliday, C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee, Trevor Hoffman, Scott Kazmir, Shane Victorino. Not: Geovany Soto, Brian Roberts, Marcus Thames, Hiroki Kuroda, Justin Duchscherer.

Sarah: After getting off to a hot start earlier this week, my team cooled, so I have to content myself with a 5-5 tie against Scott’s team, Utley’s Firm Quads. And by “content myself” I mean “seethe inwardly.” And who do I blame? Why, the Yankees, of course. I was handily winning nearly all the pitching categories before Scott’s Joba Chamberlain shut out the Red Sox Friday night, but that, combined with a horrendous outing by my own Justin Verlander, tipped the pitching scale in his favor. Then the Yankees just had to beguile the poor Pittsburgh Pirates with their evil mind tricks, convincing them to give up both of their most coveted players in exchange for what amounted to New York’s spare parts. Of course, I owned both Damaso Marte and Xavier Nady. Since Marte won’t be closing for New York, he was now useless to me, and I and about 10,000 other Yahoo! fantasy owners dropped him. (I picked up Carlos Marmol in his place.) For his part, Nady was pulled after one inning of Thursday night’s game—of course, I’d already put him in my lineup—and is 0 for 7 with a caught stealing since joining the Yankees. The New York Yankees, ladies and gentlemen: screwing over both my real team AND my fantasy team in one weekend! Thank you, thank you very much. Hot: James Loney, Carlos Guillen, Ian Kinsler (who has now become a can’t-drop player!), Rickie Weeks (now that the Brewers have acquired Ray Durham), Ryan Braun, Matt Kemp. Not: Jacoby Ellsbury, Justin Verlander.

Alejandro: It’s been a week of moves at the Center Field Stud. I decided to pull off my second blockbuster, sending Hanley Ramirez to Crunkball All Stars (Coley) for a myriad of talent: Yunel Escobar, Carl Crawford, Todd Jones, and John Danks. Will the dearth of offensiveness that was Ramirez hurt the Stud? I doubt it, he was producing RBIs like a machine, but I now have the league leader in RBIs. Plus, Carl Crawford’s on the upswing and Yunel’s production can only help (however little it may be). I did shore up my bullpen by acquiring another closer plus a solid starter that can post a very low ERA. Something that had become an issue with my other rotation guys. At any rate, Carlos Delgado continues to be my hot pickup, posting a whopping 20 TB, collecting a massive 10 RBI and mashing 4 home runs. FIRST BASE STUD! Hot: A.J. Pierzynski, Carlos Delgado, Alexei Ramirez, Jermaine Dye, Magglio Ordóñez (boy glad he’s back), Hanley Ramirez (Adios Hanley), Tim Lincecum (no wins, but 13 Ks and a 2.57 ERA is hot), Mike Pelfrey (hot pickup). Not: Jon Garland, Vicente Padilla, Gavin Floyd, Chipper Jones, Alex Gordon, Aaron Rowand, Dan Uggla (let’s say lukewarm).

Coley: Did I give up too much to get Hanley Ramirez? Maybe, but I don’t think so. I gave up Carl Crawford’s 23 stolen bases, but I inherited Hanley’s 24. That’s a push. I gave up Crawford’s eight homers, but I inherited Ramirez’s 24. Advantage: Ramirez. I also gave up Yunel Escobar, who would have been relegated to bench duty with the addition of Ramirez. No big loss. I traded John Danks, who has decent numbers but doesn’t strike out many batters. Is Danks really that much better than Clayton Kershaw, who I picked up on waivers this morning? Is he better than Jered Weaver, who hit waivers yesterday? As for Todd Jones, he was one of five closers on my team, so I could afford to part with him. Unfortunately, despite all my wheeling and dealing, I still managed to lose 5-7 this week. It didn’t help that I was moving into a new house and forgot to set my lineup, thus missing out on a start from Josh Beckett. Maybe this just isn’t my year. Hot: Benjie Molina, Connor Jackson, Mark Teixeira, Rich Harden. Not: Jack Cust, Tim Wakefield, Garry Sheffield.

So the blockbuster trade did not translate to victory for Crunkball this week. But today begins another matchup! Stay tuned next week, same bat time, same bat channel, for more exciting adventures of the UmpBump fantasy baseball league! (Or not. It’s OK.)

Standings (games behind):

1. Paul - ElDuquesInjuryReport ( - )
2. Scott - Utley’s Firm Quads ( 12.5 )
3. Alejandro - Center Field Stud ( 17 )
4. Kirk - Montefusco’s Revenge ( 19 )
5. Doug - Swamp Dragons ( 21.5 )
6. Sarah - Somerville Green Sox ( 21.5 )
7. Ania - Box89RowKKSeat14 ( 26 )
8. Larry - croutchyoldman ( 37.5 )
9. Bryan - Pirates in ‘08! ( 44.5 )
10. Coley - Crunkball All-Stars ( 46.5 )
11. Caitlin - caitlin grace ( 51 )
12. Sooze - freebase my balls ( 57)

LANCASTER, PA–The Sentra and I have hit the road!

I’ve done the drive south from Boston more times than I can count, and have come think of New York City sort of like a surly bouncer, a gatekeeper who tries to keep you from getting where you want to go for as long as possible. Only instead of standing in line outside a bar, you’re sitting in a long line of traffic.

So I skirted around the obstreperous mass of New York as much as possible, taking the parkways to the Tappan Zee bridge, and cut across New Jersey to Pennsylvania. There are three minor league teams in Harrisburg and vicinity—the Harrisburg Senators, the York Revolution, and the Lancaster Barnstormers—making it a good first stop.

After about six hours, I was rolling down Route 222 and over the well-farmed hills of Pennsylvania, passing shoulder-high corn and signs for towns like Shoemakersville, Wyomissing, and Buck. I skidded into Lancaster around 8 o’clock, just in time to catch the majority of a Barnstormers game. They had a lively crowd last night, and a refreshing breeze late in the game. It was “Dog Daze” night, and a good portion of the fans had brought their pooches with them.

Lancaster, Pennsylvania is a little slice of Americana, and Clipper Magazine Park fits right in. The stadium opened in 2005, and features all the amenities: full-sized carousel, bumper boats, and a large barn in right field (and naturally, when a player hits the roof of the last with a foul ball, this is immediately followed by a loud “MOO”). The mascot, Cylo (pronounced Silo—get it?), is a cow. And the noisemaker of choice is, naturally, the cowbell.

Like the York Revolution, the Barnstormers are part of the Atlantic League, a professional baseball league unaffiliated with MLB, and split into two divisions: the Liberty Division and the Freedom Division. The  Barnstormers can sure score runs—and combined with their uneven defense (five errors on the night), it made for quite a show. The scoring seesawed all night, with the Newark Bears making a comeback in the top of the 9th, but Lancaster loaded the bases in the bottom of the frame for young Jordan Herr, who delivered a two-run single for the walkoff win.

It’s tourist season here in Pennsylvania Dutch country (or, as the Barnstormers call it, “Pennsylvania Clutch Country”), which means I had to take an overpriced smoking room at the local TraveLodge—there aren’t a whole lot of places to stay around here, at least, not the kind of places you can find after a baseball game (oops). As to who those tourists are and what they’re doing here, as the guy at the TraveLodge desk put it, “They’re all New Yorkers who drive out here to watch the Amish plow fields.” Party on.

I’ve got to get back on the road if I’m going to make it to North Carolina by dinnertime, so pictures and more details will have to wait for now. Go ‘Stormers!

What the heck is up with ESPN.com’s wack new policy of treating singular cities and team names as if they were plural nouns in their news headlines, as in “Tribe acquire Anthony Reyes” or “Arizona triumph over the Giants” rather than “Tribe acquires” and “Arizona triumphs”?

Has anyone else noticed this? Because it’s been happening all the time lately.

Did ESPN secretly get bought by the British or something? Bring in a whole bunch of British editors? Because that’s not how we ever said those things here in America, and last time I checked, Bristol, Conn., was still firmly in American hands.

I just hope this weirdness doesn’t catch on with real Americans like that stupid “untracked” crap.

If Ned Colletti is not the worst GM in all of major league baseball (thank you Brian Sabean!), he is awfully close. Colletti proved once again how overmatched he is by the actually intelligent GMs in the game by trading away top pitching prospect Jon Meloan and breakout minor league catcher Carlos “Santana” Santana for Cleveland utility player Casey Blake.

Of course, Blake was coveted by several teams because he is a free agent to be on a team going nowhere and thus figured to be a decent bat who could be had for a fairly cheap price. Which makes the high price the Dodgers paid so baffling.

After Clayton Kershaw (who is currently up with the big club), Meloan was the pitching prospect closest to putting up good numbers in the majors. Meloan had been an absolutely dominant reliever last year in the minors. Last season at double-A Jacksonville he had compiled a 2.18 ERA and 19 saves and 70 strikeouts in 45.1 innings, and then posted a 1.69 ERA in 21.1 innings at triple-A Las Vegas.

In fact, in his entire minor league career, Meloan has posted an astonishing 335 strikeouts in only 262 innings.

But this year the Dodgers insisted on trying to convert Meloan back into a starter, and he posted an unsatsisfying 5-10 record with a 4.97 ERA, although he did keep striking out almost a batter an inning.

Given how dominant Meloan had been as a reliever, and given that with Takashi Saito down with an injury the Dodgers were in need of a setup man, Meloan and his live arm should have been up with the big club already, especially given the relief innings they are currently wasting on retreads and nobodies like Ramon Troncoso, Brian Falkenborg, and Jason Johnson.

And he certainly should not have been involved in any trades for a two month rental like Casey Blake.

Carlos Santana is not quite as awesome a prospect as Meloan, but he is having a huge breakout season in high A, batting .318 with a .424 on base percentage and a .563 slugging. Most impressively, he already has 66 walks on the season and has walked more than he has struck out, which reminds one of the minor league career of another catcher you may have heard of, current Dodgers backstop Russ Martin.

But giving up good prospects is not always bad if you get a good return. The real problem with this deal is Casey Blake and the guys the Dodgers already had

Not only is Blake going to be a free agent, thus making him only a two month rental, but he is also unlikely to represent an improvement over they guys he is replacing at third base. While it is true that rookies Andy LaRoche and Blake DeWitt have been slumping of late, and Blake has been hot, we are talking about Casey Blake here.

Blake is a 34-year-old no-glove utility guy posting an .830 OPS when his career average is only .782. It seems much more likely that he will hit at something less than an .830 clip the rest of the way than that he will continue to hit 50 points above his career average OPS in his age 34 season.

But the real downside of the Casey Blake deal is that Casey Blake is one of the worst defensive third basemen in baseball, whereas DeWitt is excellent and LaRoche is at least average. Given that the Dodgers are now going with Blake at third, cement-footed Nomar at short, and 40 year old Jeff Kent at second, it is not a stretch to wonder if the Dodgers do not now have the worst defensive infield in baseball. At the very least you can count on any ball hit to the hole on the left side getting through for a hit.

Given that the Dodgers are heavily depending on groundball pitchers such as Derek Lowe and Hiroki Kuroda, this is very very bad news. When you throw in how questionable it is that Blake will even be able to outhit Andy LaRoche (if the Dodgers actually let him play every day), this trade is just a huge subtraction all around.

But of course, Casey Blake is Casey Blake, a big-name “experienced veteran” (big bonus points for his prematurely gray hair), and this is the Casey Blake of the Cleveland INDIANS who nearly went to the World Series last year. So naturally Ned Colletti couldn’t resist, no matter the price.

You knew it was only a matter of time before his incurable case of chronic big-name-itis flared up again.

The big Kahunas in the AL East are facing off again this weekend. Ugh, you lament, not another weekend of Boston-New York hype. But this time, it’s different. This time, it’s genuinely exciting.

The Red Sox and Rays are currently tied for first place in the division, the Yankees, three games back. If the Yankees take the three-game series, they could win sole possession of first place for the first time this season. (The last time they were in first, April 16, they were tied with Boston.)

While the Rays are still a legitimate threat, they’ve been streaky in July, winning seven straight before losing seven straight (I guess that’s why they call baseball a .500 game). They’re 4-3 since the All-Star break.

The Yankees, however, have won their six games since the break (and according to Bill James–via Rob Neyer–are one of the hottest teams in baseball right now with a “temperature” of 106 degrees. Um, is that Fahrenheit?). Though touted prospects Ian Kennedy and Phil Hughes struggled early on, and young ace Chien Ming Wang hit the 60-day DL mid-June, the Yankees’ pitching staff has been carried by its old warhorses: Andy Pettite (100 K’s), Mike Mussina (3.26 ERA), and Mariano Rivera (25 saves). Joba Chamberlain, who takes the mound tonight, has made a successful transition back to a starting role, posting a 2.64 ERA in nine starts, though only two of those starts earned him a decision. New York’s veteran lineup has survived plenty of injuries as well, and has been red-hot since the break, scoring an average of 6.33 runs per game in that short span.

But if anyone can stop this team, it’s the Boston Red Sox, who have the game’s reigning big-game ace starting tonight in the person of Josh Beckett. Their lineup, too, has been raking, but tonight features an ace of its own, specifically an ace in the hole: David Ortiz, the league’s best DH, will return to the three-hole tonight from a two-month stint on the DL.

So with the dog days of August looming, I can’t think of a place I’d rather be than at Fenway tonight—the muggy summer air smelling of hot dogs and beer, the green grass aglow under the light towers, and the hum of the crowd rising to a roar as Big Papi steps in.