Last night, the Red Sox beat the White Sox—again—by scoring early and often, just as Alejandro said they could. Even though, as expected, the debuting Michael Bowden left immediately after getting through the fifth, the Red Sox bullpen miraculously gave up no runs! So far, Sarah is 0-for-2.

We’ll see if the White Sox fare better today, as Gavin Floyd takes on Tim Wakefield. I’ll be in the Fens!

Earlier today, Alejandro and I previewed the weekend’s Sox-Sox series. I said that the White Sox could win by being patient,drawing walks, and tiring out the Red Sox starters. Get to the bullpen, I advised, and then let ‘er rip. Alejandro argued that the Red Sox could win by staking an early lead.

In Game 1, the Red Sox did manage to stake a reasonably early lead, scoring once in the first, twice in the fifth, four times in the sixth, and once in the eighth. But the White Sox only managed two walks and two hits, while striking out eight times in all and scoring no runs. Not only did Daisuke Matsuzaka pitch well, he also gave Boston 8 full innings of work.

So I’d say Alejandro wins this round. Except that, as a White Sox fan, I’m sure he’d rather have lost.

And a slight change of plan for tomorrow: no longer is Triple-A hurler David Pauley Boston’s penciled-in starter. Nope. Top prospect Michael Bowden will be making his major league debut instead. That doesn’t really change much, strategically—Bowden isn’t likely to go deeper into the game than Pauley would’ve—but it does make this game a heckuvalot more exciting for Red Sox fans.

The Chicago-Boston series this weekend is a tone-setter for the final stretch of the season, and earlier, Sarah laid out the strategy for how the South Side Sox can take it to the Fenway Sox. It’s a very convincing analysis – that is, unless, the BoSox can get to the ChiSox starters.

Chicago is a team that hits home runs, and they’ll try and score as much as possible from the get-go; a strategy that has worked for the most part. They do lead the league in home runs and they are 3d in runs scored. But they’ve also suffered losses even when scoring big and they’re not a team that’ll come back. Chicago is 11-12 when behind in the second inning, 15-19 in the third, 16-28 in the fourth, and 15-34 in the fifth, anything beyond that and you can almost bet they’ll lose.

They do have 35 comeback wins, but they’ve also blown 26 leads, and their starters have the toughest time getting over the 6th inning: they hold a collective 5.55 era.

Gotta get through those 3d and 4d innings Javy

The ChiSox might score a lot, but they’ll lose some of those games. Just a quick glance at their calendar and we see a 8-7 loss to Kansas City, a 10-6 loss to Minnesota, 10-8 loss to Cleveland, just to name a few.

Although their bullpen has been solid all year, the only reliever with a record over .500 that has pitched in more than 20 games is their closer, Bobby Jenks (and he has three blown saves), which is to say, should the BoSox get to the starter, it’ll be tough for the relievers to limit or hold the damage to allow the Chicago offense to try to get back in the game.

Tonight’s starter will be a tough cookie for the BoSox to figure out. Javier Vazquez is 3-2 with a 3.00 era in August (2-1 1.96 era in the last 3 starts) and he’s pitched 7 or more innings in each one of those, but he does have a sub .500 record, all thanks to his 5.53 era in the 3d inning (and his five long balls in the 5th). If the BoSox get to Vazquez before the 6th, probably by scoring four or five runs, then they’re good.

Tomorrow’s starter, Mark Buehrle has had a very inconsistent season, but the same framework applies. Get to him quick, and he’ll be outta there by the 5th.

Now, Sunday is a different story, as Gavin Floyd has pitched very well all year (14-6, 3.70), but it can’t negate the fact that he’s allowed five or more runs in five starts, one of which came against these very same BoSox.

So what’s the game-plan team? Score early and often.

Boston's Achilles heel

It’s Sox versus Sox this weekend, as the Chicago White Sox come to Fenway for a three-game series against the Boston Red Sox. The two Sox are separated by only one game in the loss column, with the Boston team 4.5 games behind the first-place Rays (and playing them six times in September) in the AL East and the Chicago version just 1.5 games ahead of the Twins (who they play three more times) in the AL Central. The wild card? Still up for grabs.

Short version: this is a big series, folks.

So how can the Chicago nine beat my Boston squad? The answer is simple: get to the bullpen.

Yesterday, after Jon Lester spun yet another quality start, blanking the Yankees for six-and-two-thirds innings, Okajima came in with a runner on second. Okajima has not been good with inherited runners this year. He promptly surrendered a game-tying, pinch-hit home run to Jason Giambi, and the Red Sox lost in the bottom of the ninth.

This scenario is, by now, all too familiar to Red Sox fans. And this series against Chicago should present plenty of opportunities for the same.

Each "tock" brings you one second closer to Javier Lopez

Tonight, Daisuke Matsuzaka takes the hill for Boston. While Dice-K has been very good this year (2.98 ERA, 15-2 record), he averages about 5 and two-thirds innings per start and has a 1.50 K/BB. The Sox will be lucky if he gets through the sixth. Tomorrow, the likely starter is minor leaguer David Pauley, in place of the injured Josh Beckett. Pauley isn’t likely to make it past five frames. Sunday, the Sox have Tim Wakefield going, which could go either way. Wake can still cruise through lineups when his knuckler is fluttering, but at 42, he’s a little old to be left out there to labor.

So in at least two of the three contests, all the White Sox will have to do is play the waiting game.

Chicago isn’t particularly renowned for their patience (they’re sort of middle-of-the-pack when it comes to walks), but they’ll be facing Sir Walksalot in the person of Matsuzaka, a Triple-A pitcher in Pauley, and a knuckleballer in Wakefield. If they can lay off any pitch that’s even remotely borderline, they’ll get their fair share of free passes, and they’ll drive up the starters’ pitch counts.

And when the relievers come in, the White Sox won’t have to wait any longer–they can swing for the fences.

See Alejandro’s assessment of Chicago’s key weakness here.

Many young boys and girls dream of one day stepping foot onto a real big league field. Well for one lucky lad, that dream became a reality prior to last night’s game between the Phillies and Mets.

Although I’m pretty sure that in his dream, he did not crumple to the ground and cry in sheer pain. Or maybe he’s a masochist and this is exactly how he had envisioned it. I don’t know the kid.

And yes, he was apparently OK. Just humiliated for the rest of eternity.

Kid Falls Over Home Run Fence - Watch more free videos

P.S. I had initially filed this post under “Quick Laughs” without thinking. I am a worse human being than I originally thought.

When I’m not writing for this website, I’m writing about nightlife for the Arizona Daily Star. This week, the Star bosses gave me the chance to write a story about baseball. Kinda, sorta.

As previously reported, the triple-A Tucson Sidewinders will leave for Reno after this season. The team’s last game in Tucson is Monday against the Salt Lake Bees.

The Sidewinders were formerly known as the Tucson Toros, who played at Hi Corbett Field from 1969 to 1997 and won two Pacific Coast League Championships (Hi Corbett Field is where they filmed the spring training portion of the movie “Major League”).

In honor of the Tucson baseball’s end days, I talked to a bunch of guys who were there for every game – the mascots. And let me tell you, Tucson mascots have stories to tell. One of these guys got in a fight with a fan at home plate and later became Orbit, the Houston Astros’ mascot. Another went on to become Slyly, the wannabe-Phanatic mascot of the Hiroshima Carp.

You can read the story here.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention this one interesting aside that didn’t make it into my article. Hal Katzman, who was the first Tuffy the Toro, says his story is the basis for the classic Simpsons episode, “Dancin’ Homer.” Here’s how Simpsons Wiki describes that episode:

One night at Moe’s Tavern, Homer tells the story of how he got (and then lost) his big break…it is Nuclear Plant Employee, Spouses and No More than Three Children Night at the Springfield Isotopes baseball game at Springfield Stadium. At the game, Mr. Burns sits with Homer, taunting the Isotopes, which are expected to lose their 27th consecutive game, reportedly the longest losing streak in professional baseball. But when Homer fires up the crowd to the tune of “Baby Elephant Walk“, the Isotopes win a game.

Because of this, Homer is made the Springfield Isotopes mascot, “Dancin’ Homer”. Thanks to his spirit, the Isotopes win more games until Homer is promoted by Antoine “Tex” O’Hara to the team in Capital City.

The Simpsons pack up their things, say goodbye to their friends and move to the big city. Homer is nervous about performing for a larger crowd and sharing the stage with the legendary Capital City Goofball. His first performance is a disaster. He is booed off the stage and promptly fired. Homer sadly finishes his story, only to find that the barflies are still pretty impressed.

Katzman went on to become the mascot for the Houston Astros, and Capital City’s owner is nicknamed Tex. Moreover, Simpsons creator Matt Groening is from Houston. So it’s not crazy to think that Katzman really was the basis for this episode.

I don’t know about you, but if there’s anything cooler than being the basis of a Simpsons episode, especially an episode that aired during the first 10 seasons, before the show jumped the shark, then I don’t know what it is.

What lurks beneath the lid?

I’ve always loved coffee, but it’s Suz who bears responsibility for turning me into a bonafide java-snob. Your dark roasts, your light roasts, your medium roasts–I love them all. Whether it’s an exotic peaberry from Tanzania, a pure Kona from Hawaii, or a humble-but-hearty house blend, I’ll never say no to Joe. And while I frequent several lovely independent cafes, more often than not I end up swinging by my local Starbucks to feed my addiction.

So imagine my joy when I ran across Starbucks Gossip, the unofficial blog of the chain’s baristas. And imagine my voyeuristic sense of satisfaction when I read this post on what the celebs drink and found it to contain several ballplayers. Coffee and baseball! Two of my favorite things! Commingling in caffeinated bliss!

Assuming you don’t share my obsession with celebrity gossip, I’ve thoughtfully pared down the list to just baseball players:

Posted by: SoCalBarista | August 17, 2008 at 02:49 PM

Derek Jeter came in to our store a week ago and ordered a double tall non-fat latte.

Should've gotten decaf.

Posted by: Will | August 18, 2008 at 08:31 AM

Roger Clemens orders a Venti Earl Grey and Venti no-whip Caramel Frap

Jeff Bagwell gets a tall nonfat latte and tall awake.

Posted by: :) | August 18, 2008 at 04:43 PM

For the baseball fans, Joe Nathan, one of the top pitchers in the country, of the Minnesota Twins came to my store. He ordered a grande vanilla bean creme frappiccino and a banana loaf. He was really rude. Drove up and on his cell phone, wouldn’t even acknowledge me, and no tip of course. I also found it weird that an athlete was having such a fattening non-caffeinated bev.

Posted by: Borrowed Partner | August 18, 2008 at 08:46 PM

Roger Clemens got a caramel frap and a slice of lemon pound cake at my old store. Tipped well and was very nice.

Posted by: Boston Starbucks Rebel | August 18, 2008 at 08:51 PM

JoeTori [sic] came into my store and got a caramel macchiato.

But really, you should read the entire thread. There’s something oddly compelling about seeing Barack Obama, Cameron Diaz, and Chuck Norris all jumbled together through the barista lens. Plus, you find out things like that Tiger Woods doesn’t tip, that Michael Jordan only tips the change (but pays with a $20, so it’s okay), that Kevin Garnett gets his coffee venti-sized (TOP OF THE WOOOORLD! TOP OF THE WOOOORLD!!!!), and that Chad Johnson double parks in the handicapped space (why am I not surprised?). Sometimes, they are who we thought they were. But other times (I’m looking at YOU, Joe Torre) the beverages offer up a surprise.

Personally, I’m a grande bold with room, tips the change. Or I did until I read this post.

At least I’m still ahead of Taylor throws-the-drink-back-through-the-drivethru-window Swift. C’mon Taylor…that’s not our song!

“Never fuck with a winning streak.” – Crash Davis, from the movie “Bull Durham.”

“Get on Torre. Don’t blame me.” – Manny Ramirez, explaining who’s to blame for his recent slump.

As the LA Times’ T.J. Simers explains, “The Dodgers were playing like a powerhouse after Ramirez’s arrival — until the Dodgers’ hair-challenged manager insisted on Samson cutting his dreadlocks, Ramirez complying and hitting .250 ever since, the Dodgers going 4-7 in that time.”

In addition to his reduced batting average, Ramirez has 5 RBI and 1 home run over that period.

The Dodgers just lost four in a row to the Phillies, a team they beat four times in a row prior to Manny’s haircut. They’ve fallen one game below .500. and three games behind the Diamondbacks.

Come on, Joe. Don’t you know? Never fuck with a winning streak.

Time for another addition of fantasy fun. In this chapter, Paul returns from Japan, Sarah clinches a playoff birth, Alejandro squeaks by and Coley accepts his fate.

Sarah: The Somerville Green Sox clinched a playoff spot this week with a resounding 12-0 win over the long-dormant “caitlin grace” squad, who is apparently so lazy she cannot even capitalize her team name, much less be bothered to alter her roster–her active roster still includes Victor Martinez (DL), Khalil Greene (DL), Casey Kotchman (NA), Rafael Furcal (DL), Chris Young (DL), Dustin McGowan (DL), and Franklin Morales (NA). But hey, I ain’t complainin’. My team was smokin’ hot this week, racking up 7 saves, 117 total bases, 52 K’s, and so on. Plus my averages were pretty good too: .352 OBP, 2.51 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, 3.25 K/BB. The only scary moment came when Ian Kinsler flirted with season-ending surgery (he’s now set to return to the lineup sometime early in September). I’ve picked up Mike Aviles in the meantime. Hot: Everyone, but especially Vernon Wells. Not: No one. There were only people who were slightly less than totally scorching. It was that kind of week.

Coley: I know how my team is bad. I just can’t figure out why. Why was this the season when Aaron Harang went from reliable horse to hittable mule? Why did Josh Beckett and Carlos Lee have to get injured as soon as I traded for them? Why did Brett Myers and Oliver Perez start so terribly? And why does my team, which is probably the strongest team I’ve ever had on paper, continue to lose? How can a pitching staff with Beckett, Harden, Dice-K and a resurgent Myers be so bad? How can an offense led by Alfonso Soriano, Hanley Ramirez, Mark Teixeira, Connor Jackson and Vlad Guerrero be so meh? I will be forever haunted by this fantasy season. Hot: Bengie Molina, Mark Teixeira, Vlad Guerrero, Rich Harden, Brett Myers. Not: Brandon Lyon, Jason Giambi.

Paul: Be honored. I just got back to my apartment after being in Japan for the last week. And what do I do first? I come to my laptop and type up my (albeit belated) fantasy post. And while I do love my fantasy baseball, I have to admit that I paid no mind at all this past week since I just didn’t have the time to be changing lineups and checking results. And whenever I’m in Japan, my priority first and foremost is food. Lots and lots of food. Anyhow I just saw the results from this past week about ten minutes ago and I was pleasantly surprised that my team didn’t need any attention whatsoever, winning my week 11-1 against Ania and her team with the really long name. But it’s a bummer that both Justin Duchscherer and George Sherrill hit the DL without me knowing. Now I’ve gotta play some catch-up on the waiver wire. Word to your mutha. Hot: Brian Roberts, David Wright, Matt Holliday, Cliff Lee. Not: Kosuke Fukudome, Troy Tulowitzki, my team’s necessity for a manager that pays attention.

Alejandro: Another week, another narrow victory over one of the two cellar-dwelling teams in the UmpBump Fantasy League. Freebase my balls is second to last, and only because caitlin grace (what’s up with inproper capitalization guys?) doesn’t bother anymore. And still, my Center Field Stud barely wins 6-5. It was so bad, I lost in the Stolen Base category 2-1. The offense was there, especially now that I know Alexei Ramirez will win ROTY (yes, Paul, Longoria posted the numbers, but he’s hurt). I have a hole in left field since Carl Crawford went down, and Garret Anderson’s hit streak is useless in our league. A big shout out to Mike Pelfrey who pitched two consecutive complete games (even though the second one counts towards this week). Hot: A.J. Pierzynksi, Alexei Ramirez, Jermaine Dye (live and die by the White Sox, eh CF Stud?), Yunel Escobar, Tim “no contest” Lincecum, Manny Parra, Mike Pelfrey, Kerry Wood, B.J. Ryan. Not: Jon Garland, Vicente Padilla, Garret Anderson, Josh Hamilton, Magglio Ordoñez.

The Braves are not good. Maybe you noticed. Atlanta pitchers gave up 26 hits in an 18-3 loss to the Cardinals last night. It was the Braves’ sixth consecutive loss and 11th in 12 games. They are now 16 games back in the NL East.

So, it’s safe to say Braves fans are looking ahead to next season. But what will next year’s team look like? AJC columnist Jeff Schultz seems to think it will be a team stocked with expensive free agents. He says the Braves may have $47 million to spend. $47 million!

The Braves might lose five of the top seven salaries from this year’s payroll: Mike Hampton, John Smoltz, Mark Teixeira (already traded), Tom Glavine and Mark Kotsay.

So who might the Braves sign?

Hello, C.C. Sabathia or Ben Sheets?

Hmmm…that sounds like a little bit of wishful thinking. But let’s say Schultz is right. Let’s say the Braves give Sabathia a six-year $120 million contract. They’ll have $27 million left to spend. And all they’ll need is two more starting pitchers to pitch alongside CC, Jair Jorgens and Jorge Campillo. Free agent pitchers will include Jon Garland (29), Braden Looper (34) and Derek Lowe (36). Bringing back Glavine didn’t work, but Greg Maddux (43) will be a free agent this winter. How about it?

Oh, and they’ll need a centerfielder to replace Kotsay. Free agent centerfielders include Rocco Baldelli (27), Jim Edmonds (39), Mark Kotsay (33), Corey Patterson (29). Will $27 million accompish all that? Will Liberty Media grow the team’s budget?

For what it’s worth, AJC blogger David O’Brien has a plan to put together a contender and keep Tom Glavine and John Smoltz in Atlanta (in the unlikely event that either returns to pitch in 2009). He says ownership should set a budget, but make it clear that they’ll exceed that budget only to sign Glavine or Smoltz, or both.

I really don’t get O’Brien’s plan. It seems to me that if you’ve got $100 million to spend on a team that does include Tom Glavine, then you should have $100 million to spend on a team that doesn’t include Glavine.

A much better plan for rebuilding the Braves is the plan floated by Sabernomics earlier in the week. Part of that strategy involved trading Chipper Jones:

I think Chipper would be willing to play for another team that has a chance to win (a source has told me that this is the case). And if the Braves are rebuilding, I don’t think he’ll miss being part of the process. Sure, some fans will miss him, but it’s not like the organization heavily promotes him now. Chipper will go into the Hall of Fame as a Brave, that is settled. And the fact that his bat can net prospects that can help the team rebuild is an asset that the Braves shouldn’t waste. for nostalgia.

Trading Chipper would be unpopular, to be sure. But there is simply no way Atlanta is going to compete in 2009, especially now that Tim Hudson is going to be out all year. So why not make 2010 the goal?

Hey, plenty of folks here at Umpbump picked the Braves to win the NL East this season. Well, ok, it was just me. But I’ll be the first one to admit that I was wrong. The Braves aren’t a championship team. Not even close. It’s time for Frank Wren to come to the same conclusion. $47 million worth of free agents won’t fix this team. Atlanta needs to get younger. And cheaper. And trading Chipper Jones is the quickest way to do that.

NOTE: For a complete list of 2009 free agents, check out MLB Trade Rumors.