The trade deadline for the UmpBump Fantasy League was this past weekend. So now, for better or worse, the waiver wire becomes our best friend. Sarah and Alejandro are smacking each other around vying for 4th place while Coley’s beginning to sound suicidal. And Paul is still busy picking a fight with the Chinese government. It’s a wacky, wacky world but someone’s gotta live in it.

Paul: Luck could have been a lady. Or a dude. Or a “hermaphrodite lady-man-lady”. Doesn’t matter because she/he/it was definitely on my side this week. After Billy Wagner went on the DL, I picked up the much beleaguered Aaron Heilman on Tuesday night since he was getting first crack at the closer gig. And since free agents don’t join your team until the following day, his debacle that night (1/3 inning, 2 hits, 1 walk, 1 HR, 3ER) didn’t count against me. I then worried for a bit that this was a very quick end to his closing duties but decided to first see how Mets manager Jerry Manuel played his hand before reacting prematurely. This proved to be the best course of action as Heilman got the phantom win on Thursday night following a David Wright walk-off dinger, followed by a two inning save on Friday and somehow still being called upon for the successful save on Saturday night. And seeing as I won saves 5-3 and wins 5-4, I may not have won either category had I assumed the worst and dropped Heilman just as soon as I had picked him up. So by not doing anything, I was able to beat Kirk’s team (Montefusco’s Revenge) 9-3, and in the process expanded my lead to 13 games. On a related note, my ego is now equal to the size of a 12-year old Chinese gymnast’s neck (Ban us). Hot: David Wright, Jhonny Peralta, Matt Holliday, C.C. Sabathia, Aaron Heilman, Cliff Lee. Not: Marcus Thames (dropped), Adam Dunn, Jered Weaver, Huston Street, Justin Duchscherer, Scott Kazmir.

Coley: I needed a big win this week, and instead I got a tie. I’m not feeling too glass-is-half-full about it. I’m also not super stoked that Carlos Lee is out for the year with a broken finger and Orlando Hudson is having surgery on his dislocated wrist. I think I’ll be playing for pride from here on out. Hot: Jason Giambi, Carlos Lee, Vlad Geurrero. Not: Garry Sheffield.

Alejandro: Well if you don’t beat caitlin grace by a 12-0 score, then you might as well think of it as a loss. I did manage to beat caitlin, but by a very competitive 7-4 mark. Nothing that would propell me to the top of the standings in a matter of days. But what can you do when about 20% of her total RBI production was the work of one man, Nick Markakis? Nothing, because I lost by a mere 3 RBI, and that’s taking into account the five RBI that Josh Hamilton collected. Oh, and you know what else you can’t do? You can’t stay away from the fantasy boards for more than a couple of days, lest you miss Chipper Jones coming back from the DL and hitting a home run. Yea, I missed it. Ugh. Hot: Carlos Delgado, Yunel Escobar, Aaron Rowand, Jermaine Dye, Josh Hamilton, Magglio Ordoñez, Tim Lincecum (Cy Young), B.J. Ryan, John Danks. Not: Gavin Floyd (9.64 ERA), Mike Pelfrey (6.35 ERA), Vicente Padilla (9.00 ERA), A.J Pierzynski.

Sarah: My Somerville Green Sox collected another win this week, this time an 8-3 victory over Pirates in 08!. Is it wrong to be greedy? It would’ve been 8-2 if I had played Troy Glaus on Saturday, when he collected three hits–two of them home runs–and five ribbies. I also left Rickie Weeks on the bench on Wednesday, when he ended up going 4 for 5 with 2 RBI and a run. Anyway, I was a flurry of activity on the transaction front this week, so much so that I can no longer quite keep track of what I did. To sum up: Rafael Soriano and Rafael Perez both got dropped; David Murphy got DL’ed; Eddie Kunz and Marlon Byrd both got added and dropped; and Brad Ziegler and Jensen Lewis both got added. And it’s not over yet; now I have to figure out who to drop to make room for Vernon Wells, fresh off the DL himself. Hot: Jacoby Ellsbury (again! yes!), Xavier Nady, Stephen Drew, Matt Cain, Roy Oswalt, Brian Wilson. Not: Andy Pettitte, Johnny Cueto (who fortunately manages to rack up K’s even when he’s ice-cold), Russell Martin, James Loney.

Standings (games behind):

  1. Paul – ElDuquesInjuryReport ( – )
  2. Scott – Utley’s Firm Quads ( 13 )
  3. Doug – Swamp Dragons ( 25 )
  4. Sarah – Somerville Green Sox ( 25.5 )
  5. Alejandro – Center Field Stud ( 25.5 )
  6. Kirk – Montefusco’s Revenge ( 26.5 )
  7. Ania – Box89RowKKSeat14 ( 34 )
  8. Larry – croutchyoldman ( 37.5 )
  9. Bryan – Pirates in ‘08! ( 51 )
  10. Coley – St. Jude’s Club ( 52.5 )
  11. Caitlin – caitlin grace ( 59.5 )
  12. Sooze – freebase my balls ( 64 )

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