When arguments like these become available in major sports websites, maybe it’s time for us UmpBumpers to just quit and spend the rest of our days writing extensively and exclusively about the worldwide gross totals of The Dark Knight (almost at $450MM and counting!):

If Tampa Bay surrenders its lead in the AL East in the next three weeks, Rays’ rookie third baseman Evan Longoria will become a top candidate for Most Valuable Player.

Oh boy. These are the words of Gerry Fraley, a writer for The Sporting News. He has also written for other known publications such as the Philadelphia Bulletin, Atlanta Constitution and The Dallas Morning News.

And from what I understand, here’s the basic argument concocted by Mr. Fraley. Evan Longoria, the injured rookie third baseman of the Tampa Bay Rays, will show that he deserves the AL MVP in 2008 because he won’t be helping the team in any way shape or form while he is on the disabled list. By not hitting, fielding, pitching, fungo-ing, peppering, soft-tossing, fetching refreshing bottles of Gatorade, or even blowing into the faces of his teammates to cool them down after a hot inning, he will prove that he is the MVP.

This might be akin to saying that Johnny Bench is the MVP of the 2008 Cincinatti Reds. Or that Trevor Hoffman circa 1998 is the 2008 MVP for the Padres.

Hat tip to Rays Index for the link.

6 Responses to “Well, that’s ONE way to look at it…”

  1. LSAT logic puzzles applied to sports hurts my brain!!!

    so I guess that means the Red Sox have to retire Nomar’s number now?

  2. Paul Moro says:

    What are LSAT logic puzzles? I mean, I know what LSATs are, obviously, but don’t know what the questions are like.

    And no, the Sox do not have to retire Nomar’s number. The fans must simply replace Julio Lugo with images of a healthy, young Nomar Garciaparra, replace Bay with 1941 Ted Williams, replace Ellsbury with 1912 Tris Speaker, Casey with 1987 Wade Boggs, so on and so forth. Then argue that all of these players deserve to be AL MVP this year.

  3. Would Fraley make Carl Crawford Co-MVP since he is also injured?

  4. Paul Moro says:

    No. He addresses that in the article. Apparently, Carl Crawford is easily replaced. But Longoria isn’t because his backups are crap. So again, clear logic. If your team has a good bench, you can’t possibly be an MVP because you can be replaced.

  5. JojoFireball says:

    (Sample of an LSAT logical game) This one is actually fairly easy… I almost stabbed myself in the eyes during this section…

    An amusement park roller coaster includes five cars, numbered 1 through 5 from front to back. Each car accommodates up to two riders, seated side by side. Six people—Tom, Gwen, Laurie, Mark, Paul and Jack—are riding the coaster at the same time.

    * Laurie is sharing a car.
    * Mark is not sharing a car and is seated immediately behind an empty car.
    * Tom is not sharing a car with either Gwen or Paul.
    * Gwen is riding in either the third or fourth car.

  6. I think what I meant to say is that the Longoria argument is a logical fallacy, I don’t know what the specific term for it is.

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