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Featured posts
November 8, 2009 - 12:25 pm
What they need: 2009-2010 offseason
Here we go again. Time for another edition of our semi-annual “What They Need” series, where we play GM for all 30 teams. As usual, we’ll be suggesting subtle tweaks for some squads, and major overhalls for others. There’s already movement going on in the Hot Stove front, so there’s no time to waste!
Here’s a [...]
September 3, 2009 - 11:20 am
Teams That Were Almost Great: 2003 Los Angeles Dodgers
The 2003 Los Angeles Dodgers had one of the greatest pitching staffs the game of baseball has ever known. At the height of the steroids era, in a season when 104 players would test positive for performance enhancing drugs, the Dodgers hurlers posted a 3.16 ERA, good enough for an insane 128 team ERA+, and [...]
August 31, 2009 - 11:19 am
Can the Nationals contend next season?
Okay, so at a time when most people are debating whether or not the Washington Nationals can even break .500 next season, this is going to sound more than a little crazy, but I think the Nats have an outside chance at contending next season.
I’m not saying it’s going to happen, but I am saying [...]
June 29, 2009 - 9:30 pm
The All-Hot Team
We here at Umpbump have done quite a few all-time teams. We’ve also cataloged quite a series of Hot Baseball Wives. In this post, I will attempt the acrobatic feat of bridging the twain. Yes, reader: The All-Hot Team.
For reasons of attention span, or specifically, the lack of it, I am focusing on current major [...]



October 3rd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I am going to take this as a Write-Your-Own-Caption:
“I’m telling you, it’s way more absorbent than it looks—it totally controls my shine!”
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October 3rd, 2008 at 6:05 pm
This guy is one step away from “making it rain.” It’s something I expect to see in a Dave Chappelle Rick James sketch.
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October 3rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Take a look at the wad of cash in his other hand.
I have an idea, maybe he can send some of his spare change out here to California. We need to borrow some money.
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October 3rd, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Kirk, I will donate five dollars to your favorite charity if you can find me a video clip of the Governator trying to pronounce the word “liquidity”. I read the letter he wrote to Paulson, which uses the term this morning. And I haven’t been able to stop trying to imagine him saying “liquidity” ever since.
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October 3rd, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Paul, only losers donate five dollars to charity. If you were cool, you’d rub a c-note on your face.
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October 4th, 2008 at 12:16 am
he uses his fifties to wipe his ass.
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October 4th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Pay up.
http://www.kcra.com/video/17619270/index.html
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October 4th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Kirk, thank you. It was exactly as I had hoped. And yes, I’m a man of my word. Pick a charity and a gift will be made in your honor.
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October 5th, 2008 at 12:31 am
In memory of Rita Herkal, a friend of mine who worked with this organization building schools in Malawi, please make the donation to Building with Books.
http://www.buildingwithbooks.org/default.aspx
Thanks,
Kirk
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October 5th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
He’s got old man hands!
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October 6th, 2008 at 10:07 am
[...] A-Rod May use $100 bills as a napkin (UmpBump) [...]
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