The economy is in the tank. India and Pakistan have beef. Some “suspicious powders” are appearing in US Embassies - and neither Bobby Brown nor the 1986 Mets are involved. Let’s face it. 2008 kind of sucked.

But fear not. We can soon turn the calendar. And on the upside, terrible years beget great douches. Or is it the other way around?

Anyhow,  it’s the 2008 edition of The Douchies - where we pay tribute to all the douchebags in the world of baseball.

Here we have our list of nominees for these most prestigious awards in the field of douchebaggery. But we need you to tell us who is most deserving of these honors. So let the voting commence!

This year’s nominees are:

Read the rest of this entry »

In the wake of the free agency splurge conducted by the New York Yankees, there seems to be a new wave of uproar among baseball fans, writers, and even a team owner regarding the spending habits of the Steinbrenner clan.

Collectively, the Yankees will be dishing out $423.5MM for the services of Mark Teixeria, C.C. Sabathia, and A.J. Burnett, which would be excessive even if the global economy wasn’t going through the worst downslide in history.

But guys, I think we need to take a deep breath here and be rational.

Firstly, the idea that you can “buy a championship” has been disproven. We shouldn’t be having this conversation right now since a) the Rays and Red Sox still have a good shot at leaving the Yankees home in October once more, b) the Yanks haven’t won a World Series since 2000 despite the fact that they’ve had the highest payroll in baseball every single year since 1999, and c) we’ve been talking about this same topic for way too long and we’ve gotten nowhere.

Salary caps are not the answer and I don’t understand why we want to make the owners any wealthier than they already are. If they can’t spend the money they make, they’re going to keep it. And no, this won’t mean that ticket prices will go down because the market’s already been set. People are willing to shell out X amount of dollars for a seat so that’s the price. It’s unrealistic, and quite frankly, anti-capitalistic to expect anything else. Plus, if there’s even a whiff of a pending cap, the MLBPA will shut down baseball for god knows how long. And who does that benefit?It doesn’t help the owners, the players, and certainly doesn’t help the fans.

A steeper luxury tax is a possibility, but really, it’s Yankee-proof. Why? Because unlike many other owners, the Steinbrenners actually spend the money they earn to make it worthwhile for the fans. Say what you will about the family but they are not exactly cheapskates. According to Forbes Magazine’s annual list of the 400 richest people in America, George Steinbrenner’s net worth ($1.3B) trails those of Carl Pohlad (Twins - $3.6B), Ted Lerner (Nationals - $3.5B), Mike Ilitch (Tigers - $1.6B), Drayton McLane (Astros - $1.6B) and Tom Hicks (Rangers - $1.4B).  And this doesn’t even include the major conglomerates like The Tribune Company (Cubs), Liberty Media (Braves), Rogers Communications (Blue Jays) and Nintendo (Mariners).

And in 2007, the Yankees spent roughly $190MM on payroll - and reported an operating deficit of $47.3MM, by far the worst return in all of baseball. So what did they do in response? RAISED their payroll to $210MM in 2008. Of course, the Yankees do not want harsher luxury taxes. But their past behavior indicates that they will not compromise their on-field talent as a result of it. On the flipside, 27 of the 30 teams profited in 2007. The Nationals, Marlins, Mets, and the White Sox all made over $30MM a piece.  So all that will end up happening in a luxury tax scenario  is a redistribution of wealth among the owners - from ones willing to spend to the ones that don’t. This doesn’t sound like it’s in the best interests of baseball.

So let’s consider what the fans are demanding here.

Parity - the idea here being that if payrolls were more evenly spread, teams such as the Pirates, Royals, Nationals and Orioles will be competitive. This is wrong.  All of these teams have internal personnel issues that prevent it from succeeding. They’ve made bad decisions, plain and simple. The Orioles have gotten better and restocked their minor league system that should bear fruit over the next few years. But the others are still hopeless and have no one to blame but themselves. The A’s, Rays, Twins, Indians, Marlins, Rockies, and Brewers are just some of the small market teams that have competed over the last couple of years primarily through their farm systems.

Affordability - to an extent, this one may end up fixing itself, at least temporarily. Baseball owners know how to make money. And no matter how high atop a mountain their residences may be, they know that those below haven’t been raking in the dough. They’ll do what’s best for the organization and either stabilize or even lower the cost of attending games. Whereas the Mets and Yankees will be raising them due to their new stadiums’ abilities to generate additional revenue. This is capitalism (by the way, it’s kind of funny how people who were so afraid of socialism embrace the idea if it benefits them).

I know that this makes me sound like a blue-blooded jackass. Trust me, I’m no blue-blood (but I cannot prove that I am not a jackass) and only have a very rudimentary knowledge of economics. But the alternatives just don’t make sense to me. Why shouldn’t the most popular teams be able to reward their fans’ loyalties with a winning product? Why do we attack the Steinbrenners for spending their income to do so? Shouldn’t the Nationals fans (all four of you) be angry that their team had a 2007 payroll of $37MM when the organization made $43.7MM? To me, that’s far more offensive than what the Steinbrenners are doing.

Who knows how the 2009 Yankees will perform. They may end up winning the World Series, they may end up out in the cold, or somewhere in between. But if someone bet you $100 that the Yankees will win their 27th championship next year, wouldn’t you be pretty confident? I mean, that’s 29 other teams that could net you $100. Baseball’s a funny game. The best teams don’t win as often as we think. No matter how much money exchanges hands.

The Yankees signed Mark Teixeira today and the effects of the signing were wide ranging. Let’s take a look at who benefitted and who didn’t.

The Winners

The Yankees: They got the best first baseman on the market and, outside of Albert Pujols, probably the best first baseman in baseball. Teixiera will represent a major upgrade over prospective first baseman Nick Swisher, who can now be moved to a corner outfield spot (where his average power will be more forgivable). Or, the Yankees can trade him for something useful.

Teixeira: OK, so signing with the Yankees is horribly predictable. But Teixeira got a huge contract, a no-trade clause and he’ll play for a winner. That’s a pretty good deal. Something tells me he’ll be happy he didn’t sign with the Nationals.

Derek Lowe: The Red Sox say missing out on Teixeira won’t impact their search for more pitching. But you’ve got to think that some of the money they had earmarked for Teixeira could be spent on Lowe. Right now, it looks like the Mets are the only serious bidder for Lowe’s services. Getting the Red Sox involved could spark a bidding war that would culminate in an expensive contract.

Billy Beane: The Oakland GM is trying to field a winner in 2009. He took a hit when Rafael Furcal spurned his very generous four-year offer, but now that the Angels have missed out on Teixeira they are looking even more beatable. Beane must smell blood. Will he sign Adam Dunn or Jason Giambi and really put some pressure on the Halos?

Scott Boras: Now that his biggest client has signed, maybe Boras can shift his attention to the other five gajillion free agents he represents.

The Losers

Manny Ramirez: Now that the Yankees have signed Teixeira they’re extremely unlikely to sign Manny. Who is going to give Ramirez the longterm contract he wants? Probably nobody (unless Ned Coletti goes on a bender).

Red Sox: They missed out on a player that would allow them to vastly improve their middle of the order production. Moreover, that player signed with their chief rival. Burn.

The Angels: Who will play first base for Los Angeles next season? Who will provide protection for Vlad? (No, Tori Hunter. Not you. Please sit down.) This could be a blessing in disguise for the Angels, as Adam Dunn could be a great addition and will require fewer dollars and years.

ESPN’s Buster Olney is reporting that free agent 1B Mark Teixeira is Bronx-bound with an eight-year deal worth $180MM.

If Sportsline’s Danny Knobler was correct when he wrote just a couple of hours ago that that the Nationals and Red Sox were the two teams remaining in the hunt for Teix’s services, the Yankees swooped in at the 11.9th hour with this offer that supposedly includes a full no-trade.

Teixeira will be 29 by the time the new Yankee Stadium officially opens for baseball and he brings with him the deserved reputation as one of the best two-way first basemen in the game. He will take over for the departed Jason Giambi, a guy who can still hit but is far inferior defensively.

In 2008. Teix had a WPA (Win Probability Added) of 5.87 while Giambi was at 1.96, - and this metric doesn’t even account for defense. And despite the fact that Teixeira only played 54 games in the AL in 2008, he still racked up 15 Win Shares compared to Giambi’s 16 in 145 games. The only area where the two are really comparable is their ability to get on base.

But is Mark Teixeira worth $180MM?

For me, it’s yes and no. I can easily argue that no player is worth such a long commitment. It’s very unlikely that the Yankees will get eight-years worth of value out of this deal just because it’s rare for any player to be healthy for so long. But Mark Teixeira is the second best first baseman in the game - and that’s about the worst I can say about the guy. He gets on base, hits for plenty of power, keeps his mouth shut and plays stellar defense and has been doing so pretty much since the moment he stepped onto a big league field in his rookie year.

And it can’t be stated enough that this is the Yankees we’re talking about (Evil Empire! Antichrist! Spawn of Federline and Bonaduce! Get over it, people). What’s worth $10 to you is worth a million to them. And they’ll make a profit off it, too.

While the northeast was blanketed by a fierce snow storm, the weather was plain ol’ crazy here in Georgia - 65 F in mid-December, so I was able to do my last minute holiday shopping (I suspect I’m getting the Wire’s full series box set… just a hunch). But if you were entombed in snow, I’ve put together a handy online guide for baseball related gifts for the fan in your family. And because I’m extra merry, I’ll throw in some special discount links from some of our vendor affiliates: you get a good gift, you get a good deal, and UmpBump makes a little money. Everybody wins.

The Hardball Times Baseball Annual 2009

For the stat-head in all of us, this is not your daddy’s baseball almanac. Chock full of insightful articles from the likes of Rob Neyer, John Dewan, Richard Lederer and Tom Tango, as well as hundreds of pages of statistics, this is the book to get for some real inside baseball.

The Hardball Times Baseball Annual 2009 - $14.93

MLB Superstar for the Nintendo Wii

I don’t own a Wii, but I’ve played it, and I gotta admit it’s one of the most interesting video game experiences. Who would’ve thought that barely standing and moving your arms around and about, depending on what game your playing, can actually make you break a sweat. Naturally, baseball is a logical sport for a Wii video game and a great fit for the system. This game takes actual MLB players and likenesses and lets you play them in different mini games and puzzles. From the description: “Utilizing the Wii’s motion sensing capabilities and easy pick-up-and-play functionality, MLB Superstars puts a brand new spin on classic games with Baseball Pachinko, Baseball Bocci, and Baseball Golf.” Baseball golf? Go figure…
MLB Superstars - $19.99

2008 World Series DVD Set

I don’t know about you, but I might need to watch a couple of these DVDs to remember exactly what happened during this year’s Fall Classic. That nasty weather in Philly sure threw a wrench in things. If not, you can bet any proud Philly Fan wants to remind us all about the fact that they won it all in 2008, so this is the perfect gift (but really, what have they done lately?).

The Philadelphia Phillies 2008 World Series Collector’s Edition (2008) - $59.99

Or, try the 2008 Philadelphia Phillies: The Official World Series Film (2008) - $13.99.

A&E Store: Essential Games of Yankee Stadium

Save 33% off on the Essential Games of Yankees stadium six-DVD set, which includes 1976 ALCS game 5 against the Royals, 1977 World Series game 6 against the Dodgers, 1995 ALDS game 2 against the Mariners, 1996 World Series game 6 against the Braves, 2001 World Series game 4 against the Diamondbacks, and 2003 ALCS game 7 against the Red Sox. The set also includes a bunch of discs with extra bonus material.

Essential Games of Yankee Stadium six-disc DVD set - $40

(Link takes you to the A&E store)

A&E Store: Red Sox 2007 World Series Collector’s Edition DVD Set

Only hardcore Red Sox fans need apply. Get a box set with all 4 games of the 2007 Fall Classic, including the marathon game 3 (clocked at 4 hours and 19 minutes).

2007 World Series Collector’s Edition - $40

(Link takes you to the A&E store)

BaseballSavings.com: Holiday Gift Guide

Our friends over at baseballsavings.com have a slew of gift ideas, ranging from your typical fitted New Era caps, to baseballs in display cases, to baseball gear for the minor-leaguer in your family. Get gifts from under$25 to over $200.

BaseballSavings.com Holiday Gift Guide

MLB.com Shop: Free 2 to 3 day shipping

Can’t get any last minute than this. MLB.com’s shop is offering free 2 to 3 day shipping free for all qualified offers over $75. This deal is good until midnight tonight (12/21).

MLB.com Shop

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Full disclosure: Most of the links above take you to our affiliates’ sites, through which UmpBump makes a small percentage of each sale.

Word on the street yesterday was that the Boston Red Sox had offered free-agent first baseman Mark Teixeira an 8-year, $175-180MM contract. Today, it sounds like Boston’s offer was closer to $165-170MM. The Angels’ rumored offer has been greater than $160 but less than $180, while some speculate that the Nationals have ponied up $200MM. All the same, everyone seems to be offering 8 years — and agent Scott Boras seems to be holding out for a $185MM offer from a team that doesn’t suck.

Recently, I kvetched about a feeling of “inflation” in baseball — Mark Teixeira’s good, but is he really a $200MM guy? I don’t happen to think so. But what do you think?

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I know we have that badass Delicious widget over there on the upper right corner now, but I thought I’d offer an old-fashioned reading post as we cruise towards the weekend:

• First the Mets had to fight a PR scandal over their new Citi Field, after Citi got bailed out by the American taxpayer (said taxpayer was none too thrilled that the naming rights for said stadium had cost $400 million). Now the team is assuring everyone that they are not, repeat, NOT for sale, even though ownership lost money in Bernie Madoff’s bizarre Ponzi scheme. Sounds exhausting.
• On WEEI.com: Rob Bradford has a fantastic piece where Dan Duquette talks about scouting — and drafting – Mark Teixeira, only to have Tex choose Georgia Tech instead.
• Craig Calcaterra: the “new Yankee Stadium is built on a foundation of graft.” Really, it’s like right out of Tammany Hall — the higher the land was valued, the more tax-free bonds the Yankees would get; so when the Yanks didn’t like the original valuation of the land, the city officials obligingly bumped it up from $27 million to $204 million. I wonder if there’s any connection to this article from last week’s New York Times: “Tax Shelter Helps Yankees Afford Those Big Salaries.” Any accountants out there want to do the math for me?
• In other Yankees news, I found this opening line unintentionally hilarious: Like a holiday shopper, the Yankees are carefully mulling how to spend their cash. In case you haven’t heard, this has been a disappointing holiday shopping season — to say the least — for retailers. Yet the Yankees have already spent more than $240 million on just two pitchers and are now considering a “hard push” for Manny Ramirez, including a rumored 3-year offer of as much as $75 million. That’s a lot of “careful mulling,” for sure.
• How crazy is this Rafael Furcal deal? I volunteered to cover MLBTR for the evening and spent the night updating this post. I think I have whiplash, now.
• Bobby Jenks gives a really interesting interview explaining why he doesn’t throw 100mph all the time anymore — because, he says, that’s his strategy. “Anyone can time 100 mph if they see it enough…My strikeouts are down, yes, but my pitch efficiency is higher than ever and my walks are down. I’m getting hitters swinging early in the counts, and when they get behind, I can put them away.” In other words, he’s not throwing…he’s pitching.
• Joe Posnanski takes a look at the Hall of Fame ballot and handicaps who’ll get in — and thinks Jim Rice will make it this time (even though Posnanski himself won’t be voting for him).
• Speaking of the HOF, HOFer Ryne Sandberg is moving up to AA — as a manager, that is. He’s been with the Cubs-affiliated Single-A Peoria Chiefs for the past two seasons, but will join the Double-ATennessee Smokies this season. Just another reason why this year’s minor league road trip will have to take in the Smokies!
• Speaking of minor league road trips, Deadspin has just noticed that the Buffalo Bisons have an ungrammatical name, which is something that my pal Rachael pointed out during the Bulls-Bisons game we watched in Durham in July. (I, on the other hand, took that moment to exclaim, “OH, the Buffalo BISONS — I GET IT NOW!“)

What did I miss?

Today Philly Daily News columnist Bill Conlin tells us to rest easy — Raul Ibanez is going to be way better than Pat Burrell ever was. And the 2009 Phillies lineup, which is chock full of lefthanded hitters, will be much improved.

From Philly.com:

Manuel will have some flexibility. You could see a lineup against a lefthanded starter that opens with the World Series alignment that flipped Victorino and Werth in the Nos. 2 and 6 holes. Ask CC Sabathia, now in Yankees pinstripes, how that worked out. With Werth establishing himself as a certified power threat, Charlie could bat Shane No. 2, Utley 3, Howard 4, Werth 5 and Ibanez 6. And please don’t start with, “Don’t tell me they’re gonna pay $10 million a year to a No. 6 hitter.” The Phillies just got through paying $14 million a year for a guy who hit .257, struck out a ton, clogged the bases, hasn’t driven in 100 runs since 2005, has never scored 100 runs, and is a seven-inning player.

Crashburn Alley (who you may remember has a bit of a history with Conlin) has taken the time to break Conlin’s column down Fire Joe Morgan-style. But somehow Crashburn neglected to take Conlin to task for accusing Burrell of clogging the bases. And I’m not gonna let that slide.

I’d rather turn this one over to an expert. Here’s what FJM’s Junior (Alan Yang) had to say about base-clogging in April:

The problem is, 99.99463% of the time when writers use “clog the bases” or “clog the basepaths” or some variant thereof, the guy they’re accusing of base-clogging is way better at getting on base, hitting home runs (the opposite of base-clogging — it’s base-Drano-ing!), or both. So it makes little to no sense to complain about their lack of speed.

There’s no debating that Burrell is slow. But it’s not like his replacement, Ibanez, is greased lighting. Moreover, as Junior points out, it doesn’t make any sense to criticize Burrell for base-clogging when he does a better job at getting on base — and clearing them with home runs (.367 OBP/33 HR in 2008) — than Ibanez (.358/23).

The lesson learned here, Bill, is that it’s never a good idea to borrow phrases from Dusty Baker.